Registered User
Join date: Feb 2010
314 IQ
Thought you all might find this a bit... amusing:

Richard Clayderman is a famed French pianist who has released multiple albums and compilations of some of the most beauteous music ever composed. His newest stunt, put together by his record company and the London zoo, however, have some people scratching their collective heads.

This past Thursday, Mr. Clayderman played his music to a unique audience: tortoises. Why exactly did he do this? According to the Associated Press, it was "an attempt to put the reptiles in the mood to mate."

He serenaded the animals with "Ballade pour Adeline," one of his most famous pieces, then "Chariots of Fire." Unfortunately for the tortoise race, the music "did little to lift their spirits," and their interest only piqued "when zookeepers brought them some carrots."

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UG's Kris
Join date: Oct 2012
2,726 IQ
Too bad tortoises don't have ears..
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Join date: Jul 2008
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I read this as

Zoo Hires Famed Pianist to Sexually Abuse Tortoises
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Join date: Mar 2009
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Of course.
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Joshua Garcia
Join date: Jun 2009
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I'd be pretty sexually aroused too if I had a nice big carrot inside me.
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Join date: Mar 2011
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If all it takes is carrots, what made them think they needed a pianist?
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Join date: Feb 2011
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I'm more amused by the aggressive advertising of aggressive conservative t-shirts and bumper stickers.
Danjo's Guitar
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Join date: Jun 2007
995 IQ
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just set up some speakers? I guess they have trouble trying to keep them from going extinct and stuff though, so whatever works.
UG Newbie
Join date: Mar 2007
59 IQ
This is bollocks, he say's his dog sit's by the piano - I don't know about you guys but when I'm rocking wood I don't feel the need to sit by a piano - how is that an example of sexual arousal in animals
Join date: Oct 2009
5,710 IQ
#17 basically, they paid this guy a wad of cash to play the piano, in the hopes that it would arouse the tortoises. He probably was laughing his ass off all the way to the bank.