Registered User
Join date: Feb 2010
314 IQ
Thought you all might find this a bit... amusing:

Richard Clayderman is a famed French pianist who has released multiple albums and compilations of some of the most beauteous music ever composed. His newest stunt, put together by his record company and the London zoo, however, have some people scratching their collective heads.

This past Thursday, Mr. Clayderman played his music to a unique audience: tortoises. Why exactly did he do this? According to the Associated Press, it was "an attempt to put the reptiles in the mood to mate."

He serenaded the animals with "Ballade pour Adeline," one of his most famous pieces, then "Chariots of Fire." Unfortunately for the tortoise race, the music "did little to lift their spirits," and their interest only piqued "when zookeepers brought them some carrots."

More here
Hard Boyled
Join date: Mar 2008
278 IQ
I wonder how many carrots they could have bought instead of bringing old frenchy mcfrenchenheim in to hit some keys.
UG's Kris
Join date: Oct 2012
2,726 IQ
Too bad tortoises don't have ears..
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2008
1,139 IQ
It's a 2-way street man. I hire turtles to sexually arouse me all the time.
whatever you say "Mor-ty"
Join date: Jul 2008
915 IQ
I read this as

Zoo Hires Famed Pianist to Sexually Abuse Tortoises
Quote by raoooos
slipknot are actually just terrible, they're such a "holy shit i'm 14" kind of band. like fuck off mum i'm not going to school i have to clear the stone of leaves.
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
865 IQ
Whatever rocks their van
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
Of course.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

Joshua Garcia
Join date: Jun 2009
5,717 IQ
I'd be pretty sexually aroused too if I had a nice big carrot inside me.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
Join date: Jan 2009
683 IQ
Zoo Hires Famed Penis to Sexually Arouse Tortoises

that would probably work better So you can make fun of my taste in music
Youtube So you can make fun of my videos
Strange Juice
Join date: Mar 2011
96 IQ
If all it takes is carrots, what made them think they needed a pianist?
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet

Quote by FireFromTheVoid
I'll come out 3 years after the end of the world

Join date: Feb 2011
674 IQ
I'm more amused by the aggressive advertising of aggressive conservative t-shirts and bumper stickers.
Danjo's Guitar
UG's Math/Physics Major
Join date: Jun 2007
995 IQ
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just set up some speakers? I guess they have trouble trying to keep them from going extinct and stuff though, so whatever works.
UG Newbie
Join date: Mar 2007
59 IQ
This is bollocks, he say's his dog sit's by the piano - I don't know about you guys but when I'm rocking wood I don't feel the need to sit by a piano - how is that an example of sexual arousal in animals
Join date: Oct 2009
5,710 IQ
#17 basically, they paid this guy a wad of cash to play the piano, in the hopes that it would arouse the tortoises. He probably was laughing his ass off all the way to the bank.