maplekarma
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2010
314 IQ
#1
Thought you all might find this a bit... amusing:

Richard Clayderman is a famed French pianist who has released multiple albums and compilations of some of the most beauteous music ever composed. His newest stunt, put together by his record company and the London zoo, however, have some people scratching their collective heads.

This past Thursday, Mr. Clayderman played his music to a unique audience: tortoises. Why exactly did he do this? According to the Associated Press, it was "an attempt to put the reptiles in the mood to mate."

He serenaded the animals with "Ballade pour Adeline," one of his most famous pieces, then "Chariots of Fire." Unfortunately for the tortoise race, the music "did little to lift their spirits," and their interest only piqued "when zookeepers brought them some carrots."


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JackWhiteIsButts
Hard Boyled
Join date: Mar 2008
278 IQ
#4
I wonder how many carrots they could have bought instead of bringing old frenchy mcfrenchenheim in to hit some keys.
kcmoon5150
UG's Kris
Join date: Oct 2012
2,726 IQ
#5
Too bad tortoises don't have ears..
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LightxGrenade
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2008
1,139 IQ
#6
It's a 2-way street man. I hire turtles to sexually arouse me all the time.
Primus2112
whatever you say "Mor-ty"
Join date: Jul 2008
915 IQ
#7
I read this as

Zoo Hires Famed Pianist to Sexually Abuse Tortoises
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adamgur96
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Join date: Apr 2011
865 IQ
#8
Whatever rocks their van
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Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
#10
Of course.
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as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
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Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,717 IQ
#11
I'd be pretty sexually aroused too if I had a nice big carrot inside me.
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bifteksupernova
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Join date: Jan 2009
683 IQ
#12
Zoo Hires Famed Penis to Sexually Arouse Tortoises

that would probably work better
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FireFromTheVoid
Strange Juice
Join date: Mar 2011
96 IQ
#13
If all it takes is carrots, what made them think they needed a pianist?
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LeakyFlask
onaarq
Join date: Feb 2011
674 IQ
#14
I'm more amused by the aggressive advertising of aggressive conservative t-shirts and bumper stickers.
REGGIE
Danjo's Guitar
UG's Math/Physics Major
Join date: Jun 2007
995 IQ
#15
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just set up some speakers? I guess they have trouble trying to keep them from going extinct and stuff though, so whatever works.
Crillz
UG Newbie
Join date: Mar 2007
59 IQ
#16
This is bollocks, he say's his dog sit's by the piano - I don't know about you guys but when I'm rocking wood I don't feel the need to sit by a piano - how is that an example of sexual arousal in animals
crazysam23_Atax
Feuergesicht
Join date: Oct 2009
5,710 IQ
#17
Wow...so basically, they paid this guy a wad of cash to play the piano, in the hopes that it would arouse the tortoises. He probably was laughing his ass off all the way to the bank.