maplekarma
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2010
10 IQ
#1
Thought you all might find this a bit... amusing:

Richard Clayderman is a famed French pianist who has released multiple albums and compilations of some of the most beauteous music ever composed. His newest stunt, put together by his record company and the London zoo, however, have some people scratching their collective heads.

This past Thursday, Mr. Clayderman played his music to a unique audience: tortoises. Why exactly did he do this? According to the Associated Press, it was "an attempt to put the reptiles in the mood to mate."

He serenaded the animals with "Ballade pour Adeline," one of his most famous pieces, then "Chariots of Fire." Unfortunately for the tortoise race, the music "did little to lift their spirits," and their interest only piqued "when zookeepers brought them some carrots."


More here
kcmoon5150
UG's Kris
Join date: Oct 2012
590 IQ
#5
Too bad tortoises don't have ears..
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
Primus2112
whatever you say "Mor-ty"
Join date: Jul 2008
113 IQ
#7
I read this as

Zoo Hires Famed Pianist to Sexually Abuse Tortoises
i miss the old kanye
adamgur96
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
668 IQ
#8
Whatever rocks their van
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
181 IQ
#10
Of course.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


Joshua Garcia
An actual big boy
Join date: Jun 2009
4,730 IQ
#11
I'd be pretty sexually aroused too if I had a nice big carrot inside me.
Quote by imspazzen
i'm horny af for Marge Simpson right about now
FireFromTheVoid
Unloved
Join date: Mar 2011
20 IQ
#13
If all it takes is carrots, what made them think they needed a pianist?
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

LeakyFlask
onaarq
Join date: Feb 2011
131 IQ
#14
I'm more amused by the aggressive advertising of aggressive conservative t-shirts and bumper stickers.
REGGIE
Danjo's Guitar
UG's Math/Physics Major
Join date: Jun 2007
143 IQ
#15
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just set up some speakers? I guess they have trouble trying to keep them from going extinct and stuff though, so whatever works.
Crillz
UG Newbie
Join date: Mar 2007
10 IQ
#16
This is bollocks, he say's his dog sit's by the piano - I don't know about you guys but when I'm rocking wood I don't feel the need to sit by a piano - how is that an example of sexual arousal in animals
crazysam23_Atax
Feuergesicht
Join date: Oct 2009
490 IQ
#17
Wow...so basically, they paid this guy a wad of cash to play the piano, in the hopes that it would arouse the tortoises. He probably was laughing his ass off all the way to the bank.