#1
Since love is no longer in the air, let us gather around and reminisce about those first dates that went horribly, horribly wrong.
I was 17 and I ended up going on a date with a girl who was in my sisters youth group, so we gone to a diner. We talked for a good hour or more accurately she talked at me for an hour about her ex being an abusive drunk asshole. So we go back to her house because you know I'm an idiot and we cuddle on thecouch watching modern marvels. All of the sudden captain wonderful pops through the door and they instantly get back together. So I now end up watching them suck face for an hour because genius here didn't pay attention to where the hell her mom was driving from the diner. I miss my train because her mom had the groceries away I helped because I wanted to get the hell out of there and have to wait in the -5degree cold for 2 hours with only a light hoodie.

Alright pit its your turn.
Quote by joshua garcia
I was incredibly drunk and only really remember writing a fanfic where ESP was getting porked by a pony.

Quote by guitar0player
I'd honestly fap to anything with a set of genitals as long as I find it aesthetically appealing.
#2
My first date my ex and I went to the movies (I know its lame, we were thirteen)

So long story short we had our first kiss that night and later through the week I found out she cheated on me with some dude shortly after I left the theater.
#3
The toilet clogged
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#5
Quote by durhamdynamo
I took her to an owl sanctuary.


Hope it wasn't raining.

Then it'd be...








TOO WET TO WOO.
#6
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
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I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
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Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
#7
Quote by Johnny_Ibanez
Hope it wasn't raining.

Then it'd be...


TOO WET TO WOO.


Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#8
I had also had a first date where she got stoned and forgot about it completely forgot about me, we ended up having a date the next day though she paid for everything because she felt really bad lol, I could have gotten some too if the weed didn't make me super paranoid. still that first one was a bitch
Quote by joshua garcia
I was incredibly drunk and only really remember writing a fanfic where ESP was getting porked by a pony.

Quote by guitar0player
I'd honestly fap to anything with a set of genitals as long as I find it aesthetically appealing.
#9
It was a double date.

I was 13.

I wore a bright orange football shirt.

I ripped her handbag.

I pushed her/my mate into a phone booth.

She bled.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#10
Quote by Trowzaa
It was a double date.

I was 13.

I wore a bright orange football shirt.

I ripped her handbag.

I pushed her/my mate into a phone booth.

She bled.

I imagine you doing all those things with that Suarez face.


No horror stories for me. I barely go on dates and they're mostly just kinda awkward.
#11
Was lying on hill after (was Halloween)
Getting a little cuddly.
She jokingly started pretending to be scared that a vampire would attack us.
Rolled over and grabbed her shoulder and shook.
Wasn't her shoulder, she'd been lying on her back.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#12
Quote by Todd Hart
Rolled over and grabbed her shoulder and shook.
Wasn't her shoulder, she'd been lying on her back.


wat

Hriday!Edit: Oh, boobs.
#14
Quote by Johnny_Ibanez
Hope it wasn't raining.

Then it'd be...





TOO WET TO WOO.


This was just amazing. Beautiful.
- - - - - - - -
When I think of the perpetual journey through life
When it always feels like autumn
The wind moves slowly to the north
And the flowers die
Rain falls in my dreams

- - - - - - - -
#15
I had just started my new job and met this colleague. We got on pretty well, and after a few months we got to talking romantically. We decided to go grab something to eat, so we went to this great little pizza parlor. She got mad after I ordered a pizza with anchovies, pineapples and red peppers. Pretty much the perfect pizza, right? Anyways, she got pissed and the date was just kind of ruined. It kind of worked out for the best, anyway.

I got back together with my ex-wife, who has my kids now, and she's with some black guy, who I also work with. I don't care for him much, but he seems like a good husband. I think she has 2 kids with him now.
#16
Quote by gallagher2006
She got mad after I ordered a pizza with anchovies, pineapples and red peppers. Pretty much the perfect pizza, right? Anyways, she got pissed and the date was just kind of ruined. It kind of worked out for the best, anyway.

I'm not surprised, that sounds ****ing disgusting urghhh.
- - - - - - - -
When I think of the perpetual journey through life
When it always feels like autumn
The wind moves slowly to the north
And the flowers die
Rain falls in my dreams

- - - - - - - -
#17
Quote by papershredder
I'm not surprised, that sounds ****ing disgusting urghhh.


It must be an acquired taste. A bit like Scotch, which I also love.
#18
Quote by gallagher2006
and she's with some black guy.I don't care for him much,

racist!

lots where I just plain couldn't stand the people and very awkwardly had to find a way to let them down gently, y'know?
#19
Quote by gallagher2006
It must be an acquired taste. A bit like Scotch, which I also love.

Salty, fishy pineapple. Yes it probably is
- - - - - - - -
When I think of the perpetual journey through life
When it always feels like autumn
The wind moves slowly to the north
And the flowers die
Rain falls in my dreams

- - - - - - - -
#20
lost it on the anchovs. pizza like that can be really good though, my dad gets pizza similar to that. he gets hot peppers & sausage tho. It's actually pretty good at the right place.
#21
Quote by Thrashtastic15
racist!

lots where I just plain couldn't stand the people and very awkwardly had to find a way to let them down gently, y'know?


#22
I was in 8th grade so this was like 1999 or 2000. Back then one of the fads was this yo-yo balls that were made of elastic rubber and had this liquid inside of them. The would spring back and bounce off just about anything. This was my first date ever, we were walking in the mall after eating at Applebees. The vendor who sells these stupid yo-yo balls was showing them off by throwing them at people and snapping it back right before it hit them. Well he throws it at me, the rubber line snapped, yo-yo ball hits me in the chest full force, disgusting green slime explodes all over me in front of my date and everyone in the mall. Had to go buy a new outfit, had green stuff in my hair, got laughed at by a crowd which embarassed my date. Needless to say, we never went out on another date after that lol.
#23
How about a first date that never really happened? Friends of the girl told me she was interested and would be in a pub that night if I cared to go up there. So, got to pub with my mate, who was trying to cop off with one of her mates, sort of spoke to her "hello" kind of thing, and guess what the recently-ex-boyfriend with all his mates just happened to walk in the door. We weighed up the situation and made a fast exit, not fast enough to avoid it all kicking off in the carpark though.

Found out later she was "really sorry"....sorry love, you'll have to do a bit better than that was my reply.
#24
Although it wasn't the first time I'd went out with this girl, the first one that felt like an actual date went sorta uuugh. We met up, talked quite a bit, got high with some fiiiine stuff and went to see a Danish indie film or something. We turned out to be the only people there, it was a screening very late at night. The film began, we watched for a bit, but then started making out and kept at it till the rest of the film (I still don't know what it was about ) it was very, very pleasant. After the movie was done we went to a club to meet with some of her friends and it was one of the most awkward things ever, we pretty much stood there, the effects of the substance drizzling away, not really knowing what to say. Awkward silence that pretty much ruined everything. I think I've managed to cope with it quite well, although the days after I felt pretty terrible. Luckily though we didn't stop communicating entirely after that, talked the whole thing through and stayed friends and I hope we keep it up, because she really is a very awesome person.
#25
I came only to this thread to see if T00D33P had posted his being-whipped-with-a-rusty-sword-in-the-showers-by-masochistic-girl-story. But he hasn't yet. No one else may post until this story is shared.
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