treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,126 IQ
#1
You're a
Train wreck
I look for
Survivors
If I can't
Find one
I'd call it
A day

Sorry
You can't
Hear me I
Hear you screa
-ming my
Name
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Last edited by treborillusion at Mar 7, 2013,
JustRooster
Professionally Crabby
Join date: Jan 2005
7,261 IQ
#2
This seems like it could have been half a stanza, but pulled out into a full piece. It's a good idea, man. A really good one, but I think you need to take this one back to the forge and give it some more shape.

Keep on with this one, I think I'm going to really like where it goes.

Quote by EyeNon15
Thats too bad, I was under the impression I was arguing something profound