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#3
My m8 has a van

I'd show you around town.

To a group of young Mormon girls from Utah this one time. Young like; My age young. They were different/exotic to me, and I liked her hair and tits.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#4
I force their mouths into my cock, tears running down their cheeks as I cum on their throats. They often try to bite it off, but the pain just makes me hornier. A blow to the head with an axe ends things pretty quickly. Be shure to apply plastic over everything since scrapping brain matter can get pretty tedious when it dryes out.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#5
My Dad answered the door once and just said "I'm Satan!"... they left
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
#6
I used to answer my door in my ginch because they were the only people that came over unannounced I think they got sick and tired of the abuse they stopped coming around.
2011 Gibson Honeyburst LP Trad. w/ SD Whole Lotta Humbuckers
2014 Gibson Ocean Water Standard Plus
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#7
I just slam the door in their faces while yelling "get the fuck off my property". That works pretty well. Also having a big dog that looks like it's ready to rip someone's throat out is a definite plus.
Quote by strat0blaster
This is terrible advice. Even worse than the useless dry, sarcastic comment I made.

Quote by Cathbard
I'm too old for the Jim Morrison look now. When I was gigging I had a fine arse.
#8
Open door with erect penis in hand, whilst giving them the dirtiest look you can.
In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.


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#10
Tell them that you converted to their religion recently. No more reason to solicit you.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
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#13
Start blasting some Satanic black metal, then answer the door. Gorgoroth or Behemoth should do the trick. Then talk to them in a really growly raspy voice using Old English.
#14
Quote by necrosis1193
Tell them that you converted to their religion recently. No more reason to solicit you.

"Oh so will you be joining for our monthly Jehovah's meeting?
If you don't, then I'll stop by each week or two and tell you about how great it is!"
Voted UG User of the Year 2015 & 2016
#15
Mimic their every move and utterance.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#19
Quote by DESTROYER5000
It's not being a dick, if you ask us not to come back we won't. The Mormons will come back even if you say I'm not interested.

That wasn't directed at you, just at the people who act all tough when someone rings their doorbell
#21
Quote by DESTROYER5000
I'm a Jehovah's Witness and all you have to do is next time they come back tell them reasonably politely " please don't come back " or something like that and they will write down your address so that its known that you don't want them to come back. As for getting the Mormons to go away say something absolutely bizarre to them


If you just kept your religion to yourself people wouldn't have to say anything at all, polite or not.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#22
Quote by DESTROYER5000
I'm a Jehovah's Witness and all you have to do is next time they come back tell them reasonably politely " please don't come back " or something like that and they will write down your address so that its known that you don't want them to come back. As for getting the Mormons to go away say something absolutely bizarre to them


Is this another trolling experiment? If so, you're getting better at it than the other attempts.
Quote by shiggityswah

Welcome to UG. Everyone here will piss you off at some point, it's just what we do.
#23
Quote by Todd Hart
Mimic their every move and utterance.

Mimic their every move and utterance.
#24
Quote by whywefight
Mimic their every move and utterance.


Mimic their every move and utterance.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#25
Quote by Todd Hart
Mimic their every move and utterance.

Mimic their every move and utterance..
#26
Well the two lads who use to try and ask me if i "was having a good day... in the light of Jesus Christ" eventually stopped talking to me when i told them i was an atheist.

Usually gets them to shut up.
#27
I've seen the lord and he is good. His ways of death and destruction will be upon our plain of existence to convene within the one you call god and gods world earth. I am but a servant of our holiest patron of demise and wish that you yourself join my sect for the taking of this world.

They will not only join you, but you will now begin the new age of darkness.
#28
Quote by whywefight
Mimic their every move and utterance..

Lol. Utter.
We're all alright!
#29
Nah just tell them not to call again and ask to be put on something called a 'Do not call list'. They understand that some people don't want to be called on uninvited so they have a list that they keep, so when they work a certain area they know which house not to call on. There's no need to be horrible to them, because really it boils down to the fact that just because you're not interested, doesn't mean everyone else is. But they will go away if you ask to be put on the 'Do not call list'. Talking about satan won't stop them haha
The trouble with democracy is, no matter who you vote for the government always gets in.
#30
Quote by Nelsean
I've seen the lord and he is good. His ways of death and destruction will be upon our plain of existence to convene within the one you call god and gods world earth. I am but a servant of our holiest patron of demise and wish that you yourself join my sect for the taking of this world.

They will not only join you, but you will now begin the new age of darkness.


Related, recite this.

...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#31
Quote by DESTROYER5000
That's not what we are like and you know it!

Calm down broham, I'm just joshin ya.
Voted UG User of the Year 2015 & 2016
#33
Quote by DESTROYER5000
That's not what we are like and you know it! I told Ts just to say don't come back and we will kindly make sure not to go to Ts's residents and its not monthly it's weekly.

We don't shove our beliefs down other people's throats so to speak, but if don't want to hear what have to say then say so!


Yeah chill man
The trouble with democracy is, no matter who you vote for the government always gets in.
#34
i grew up jehovahs witness style and when we went door to door it was the people that said not interested that we avoided. i have since grew away from that and have had to deal with them at my house. i just tell em about how i used to be one and how i found religion is wrong. they try to school me at times but i just ask them about certain verses if they jump on my bone. its like luke 19:26 or something where jesus said bring the enemies of mine before me and have them slaughtered. that usually stumps em, gets my dad every time. ; )
#35
lol im not getting in a religious debate or anything, so no. ive dealt with it too much and fought my father over it my whole life. end of story. i apologize for being rude, its just been too much of a mess in my life. also i have a friend that likes to talk about our existence and shit and he is always trying to talk about it so he has kinda ruined talking about that stuff for me.
#38
Reply them with:
"Alright I'll talk to you if you agree to talk about the lord Satan and how he is our lord and savior"
Preferably with some death metal blasting in background.
#39
I appreciate it and all the satan talk doesnt scare em or anything. Thatll make em question your ass so being dumb wont work. Just be polite and say no thank you.