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treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,126 IQ
#3
My m8 has a van

I'd show you around town.

To a group of young Mormon girls from Utah this one time. Young like; My age young. They were different/exotic to me, and I liked her hair and tits.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#4
I force their mouths into my cock, tears running down their cheeks as I cum on their throats. They often try to bite it off, but the pain just makes me hornier. A blow to the head with an axe ends things pretty quickly. Be shure to apply plastic over everything since scrapping brain matter can get pretty tedious when it dryes out.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
SFosterS
Kiss Of Death
Join date: Feb 2010
653 IQ
#5
My Dad answered the door once and just said "I'm Satan!"... they left
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
ne14t
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2011
1,045 IQ
#6
I used to answer my door in my ginch because they were the only people that came over unannounced I think they got sick and tired of the abuse they stopped coming around.
2011 Gibson Honeyburst LP Trad. w/ SD Whole Lotta Humbuckers
2014 Gibson Ocean Water Standard Plus
Marshall Haze 15W Head/Cab
Hughes & Kettner Tubemeister 5
stonyman65
Unregistered User
Join date: Sep 2005
809 IQ
#7
I just slam the door in their faces while yelling "get the fuck off my property". That works pretty well. Also having a big dog that looks like it's ready to rip someone's throat out is a definite plus.
Quote by strat0blaster
This is terrible advice. Even worse than the useless dry, sarcastic comment I made.

Quote by Cathbard
I'm too old for the Jim Morrison look now. When I was gigging I had a fine arse.
Metallicaxp
Floating through time
Join date: Aug 2007
184 IQ
#8
Open door with erect penis in hand, whilst giving them the dirtiest look you can.
In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.


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Wolfinator-x
Teeth
Join date: Apr 2007
1,337 IQ
#9
"Sorry, can't talk, I'm busy sacrificing my children today."
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.
Artists I'm listening to a lot lately:
Stray Cats, Gustav Holst

Mah Youtube vids.
if you truly loved me, you'd watch them (psst; it's not just glam stuff)

Mah Soundcloud
necrosis1193
UG Nerd
Join date: Oct 2008
8,869 IQ
#10
Tell them that you converted to their religion recently. No more reason to solicit you.
Hey you! Yes, you! Buy my music! It's cool and stuff!

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern division champions, 2015: 81-81
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 world champions, 2015: 5-11
2015 Pick 'Em: 155-101
Wolfinator-x
Teeth
Join date: Apr 2007
1,337 IQ
#12
Quote by necrosis1193
Tell them that you converted to their religion recently. No more reason to solicit you.
Actually this is good.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.
Artists I'm listening to a lot lately:
Stray Cats, Gustav Holst

Mah Youtube vids.
if you truly loved me, you'd watch them (psst; it's not just glam stuff)

Mah Soundcloud
Skodward714
UG's Most Metal Brony
Join date: Feb 2010
652 IQ
#13
Start blasting some Satanic black metal, then answer the door. Gorgoroth or Behemoth should do the trick. Then talk to them in a really growly raspy voice using Old English.
Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,841 IQ
#14
Quote by necrosis1193
Tell them that you converted to their religion recently. No more reason to solicit you.

"Oh so will you be joining for our monthly Jehovah's meeting?
If you don't, then I'll stop by each week or two and tell you about how great it is!"
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#15
Mimic their every move and utterance.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
ComradSputnik
UG's enlightened one
Join date: Aug 2007
423 IQ
#19
Quote by DESTROYER5000
It's not being a dick, if you ask us not to come back we won't. The Mormons will come back even if you say I'm not interested.

That wasn't directed at you, just at the people who act all tough when someone rings their doorbell
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#21
Quote by DESTROYER5000
I'm a Jehovah's Witness and all you have to do is next time they come back tell them reasonably politely " please don't come back " or something like that and they will write down your address so that its known that you don't want them to come back. As for getting the Mormons to go away say something absolutely bizarre to them


If you just kept your religion to yourself people wouldn't have to say anything at all, polite or not.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
jetwash69
Registered User
Join date: May 2008
894 IQ
#22
Quote by DESTROYER5000
I'm a Jehovah's Witness and all you have to do is next time they come back tell them reasonably politely " please don't come back " or something like that and they will write down your address so that its known that you don't want them to come back. As for getting the Mormons to go away say something absolutely bizarre to them


Is this another trolling experiment? If so, you're getting better at it than the other attempts.
Quote by shiggityswah

Welcome to UG. Everyone here will piss you off at some point, it's just what we do.
whywefight
~I'm not fuckin around~
Join date: Dec 2010
1,765 IQ
#23
Quote by Todd Hart
Mimic their every move and utterance.

Mimic their every move and utterance.
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#24
Quote by whywefight
Mimic their every move and utterance.


Mimic their every move and utterance.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
whywefight
~I'm not fuckin around~
Join date: Dec 2010
1,765 IQ
#25
Quote by Todd Hart
Mimic their every move and utterance.

Mimic their every move and utterance..
Arnthor
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2007
22 IQ
#26
Well the two lads who use to try and ask me if i "was having a good day... in the light of Jesus Christ" eventually stopped talking to me when i told them i was an atheist.

Usually gets them to shut up.
Nelshizzle
Banned
Join date: Nov 2004
2,790 IQ
#27
I've seen the lord and he is good. His ways of death and destruction will be upon our plain of existence to convene within the one you call god and gods world earth. I am but a servant of our holiest patron of demise and wish that you yourself join my sect for the taking of this world.

They will not only join you, but you will now begin the new age of darkness.
Mathedes
Dissonant Unison
Join date: Jan 2009
329 IQ
#28
Quote by whywefight
Mimic their every move and utterance..

Lol. Utter.
We're all alright!
DanBrown93
Mr. Theory
Join date: Feb 2011
1,786 IQ
#29
Nah just tell them not to call again and ask to be put on something called a 'Do not call list'. They understand that some people don't want to be called on uninvited so they have a list that they keep, so when they work a certain area they know which house not to call on. There's no need to be horrible to them, because really it boils down to the fact that just because you're not interested, doesn't mean everyone else is. But they will go away if you ask to be put on the 'Do not call list'. Talking about satan won't stop them haha
The trouble with democracy is, no matter who you vote for the government always gets in.
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#30
Quote by Nelsean
I've seen the lord and he is good. His ways of death and destruction will be upon our plain of existence to convene within the one you call god and gods world earth. I am but a servant of our holiest patron of demise and wish that you yourself join my sect for the taking of this world.

They will not only join you, but you will now begin the new age of darkness.


Related, recite this.

...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,841 IQ
#31
Quote by DESTROYER5000
That's not what we are like and you know it!

Calm down broham, I'm just joshin ya.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
DanBrown93
Mr. Theory
Join date: Feb 2011
1,786 IQ
#33
Quote by DESTROYER5000
That's not what we are like and you know it! I told Ts just to say don't come back and we will kindly make sure not to go to Ts's residents and its not monthly it's weekly.

We don't shove our beliefs down other people's throats so to speak, but if don't want to hear what have to say then say so!


Yeah chill man
The trouble with democracy is, no matter who you vote for the government always gets in.
kozmo4200
UG Newbie
Join date: Apr 2008
311 IQ
#34
i grew up jehovahs witness style and when we went door to door it was the people that said not interested that we avoided. i have since grew away from that and have had to deal with them at my house. i just tell em about how i used to be one and how i found religion is wrong. they try to school me at times but i just ask them about certain verses if they jump on my bone. its like luke 19:26 or something where jesus said bring the enemies of mine before me and have them slaughtered. that usually stumps em, gets my dad every time. ; )
kozmo4200
UG Newbie
Join date: Apr 2008
311 IQ
#35
lol im not getting in a religious debate or anything, so no. ive dealt with it too much and fought my father over it my whole life. end of story. i apologize for being rude, its just been too much of a mess in my life. also i have a friend that likes to talk about our existence and shit and he is always trying to talk about it so he has kinda ruined talking about that stuff for me.
Wolfinator-x
Teeth
Join date: Apr 2007
1,337 IQ
#36
I, for one, am not bothered by and am even curious about JW.

come at me, brethren
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.
Artists I'm listening to a lot lately:
Stray Cats, Gustav Holst

Mah Youtube vids.
if you truly loved me, you'd watch them (psst; it's not just glam stuff)

Mah Soundcloud
Raster
~.~
Join date: Jun 2010
66 IQ
#38
Reply them with:
"Alright I'll talk to you if you agree to talk about the lord Satan and how he is our lord and savior"
Preferably with some death metal blasting in background.
kozmo4200
UG Newbie
Join date: Apr 2008
311 IQ
#39
I appreciate it and all the satan talk doesnt scare em or anything. Thatll make em question your ass so being dumb wont work. Just be polite and say no thank you.