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#41
Quote by new yardbird 9
Or just don't answer the door.


DING DING DING DING DING! Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!!!!!
The trouble with democracy is, no matter who you vote for the government always gets in.
#42
Quote by DanBrown93
DING DING DING DING DING! Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!!!!!
At least have the decency not to ring like a madman
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Caravan Palace, Vulfpeck, ELO


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#43
Quote by DESTROYER5000
Lol no, it's just a polite discussion/tip thing because I figure who better to help with this than someone who is a Jehovah's Witness.


Ok... Any Mormons here to weigh in on this then? The Mormon perspective on this seems woefully underepresented ITT.
Quote by shiggityswah

Welcome to UG. Everyone here will piss you off at some point, it's just what we do.
#45
Quote by Raster
Reply them with:
"Alright I'll talk to you if you agree to talk about the lord Satan and how he is our lord and savior"
Preferably with some death metal blasting in background.

goddamn this is so ****ing lame, why do teenagers have such shitty ideas?
#46
seriously, just ask them not to come back. politely. they're not hurting you, and your denial of religion is not tough to them.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#47
Quote by Ometh
I force their mouths into my cock, tears running down their cheeks as I cum on their throats. They often try to bite it off, but the pain just makes me hornier. A blow to the head with an axe ends things pretty quickly. Be shure to apply plastic over everything since scrapping brain matter can get pretty tedious when it dryes out.

I was going to post something like this, but the truth is nobody does it better than Ometh.
#50
Walk out there naked with a rabbit costume on your head. Add a carrot sticking out of your arse for added effect.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
#52
Quote by whywefight
Hit on her if its a girl.
That's what I done.
I was at work trying to sell double glazing, she was hot/attractive and, her friend wasn't bad too... I tried to sell them a window because I was at work and I bumped into her and her friend, in a team... Hot Summer's Day, like an hour before quitting time... Any contact is good, so my boss and this other guy, both safe/cool start flirting with these girls I met, who were from Utah and the house was this lady who was ill and didn't want to be disturbed.
I offered to use my bosses van when he arrived to show them around London, we chatted and then they went... Next day at work was jokes.
'I was the guy who tried to pull 2 nuns'...
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#53
Nobody suggested putting a head on a spike outside their yard?



Works pretty well according to Game of Thrones. Anything you see on TV is safe to try out in real life, right?
mmmmmmhmmm

That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Quote by munkymanmatt
brilliant
#54
Quote by Todd Hart
Mimic their every move and utterance.

I might actually try this one.

You could always keep a copy of Mein Kempf or a hardcore penthouse near the door. then whent hey give you a pamphlet to read you can give them something to read too.
Si
#55
Quote by yoman297
guys what's the best way

i've got nothing



Only takes one pump.
Better, Faster, Stronger

Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas State Wildcats
Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

#56
Quote by 20Tigers
I might actually try this one.

You could always keep a copy of Mein Kempf or a hardcore penthouse near the door. then whent hey give you a pamphlet to read you can give them something to read too.


Perhaps you can scrapbook the two together and hand them a copy of Mein Penthouse.
mmmmmmhmmm

That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Quote by munkymanmatt
brilliant
#57
Imagine if you said, "no I'm not interested but thank you anyway" they might just turn around and walk away! holy crap!
If you want to shine like the sun first you must burn like it.
#58
greet them at the door in a towel and tell them you were just running the tub for you and your sister
Last.fm So you can make fun of my taste in music
Youtube So you can make fun of my videos
#59
I've got the best plan.

Talk to them, and oblige their request to hear what they have to say. Then, when they least expect it, (and this is the best part) CONVERT to their religion!

Then live your whole life following their beliefs. It's perfect. Those bastards won't know what hit them.
#60
Hi, everyone! I'm Mormon, and I served a mission in Santiago, Chile so I thought I'd chime in! A lot of missionaries feel that while they don't want to be pushy, but they truly, sincerely believe that the message they share is the most important message that a person can hear in their entire lives. So often times when a person immediately shuts them down, they still feel a sense of urgency and a desire to keep trying.

So the simplest thing would be to calmly and politely say that you really aren't interested, thank them, and let them be on their way!
Wolfie, Moley, Witty, Dgmey, Grundy
#62
The church of satan is weak as shit dude. Your not going to send a chill of terror down their spine or something. They will just start questioning you and once they leave they will probably come back.
#63
There's a Jedi Church in Bromley; It's a global thing though @ Church of Satan. ^
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#64
SARS mask. Also best way to keep your space on Southwest flights...
This is why I don't like arguing on the internet.
Quote by damian_91
If only you could back that statement up.
Quote by Zombee
Wolfgang's Philadelphia Study. Look it up yourself.
Quote by damian_91
No need to, absurd generalizations aren't my thing.
#65
Quote by jetwash69
Ok... Any Mormons here to weigh in on this then? The Mormon perspective on this seems woefully underepresented ITT.


Ex-Mormon here

Most Mormon missionaries are 18 -22 year old boys. They often don't know a whole lot about religion other than what they've been trained to teach. So if you can argue with them and show a knowledge of the church's sketchy history, you'll likely scare them off. Simply saying you're not interested won't always work cause they'll see it as a challenge to convince you. Don't be dicks to them though, firstly because they're generally good guys just doing what they've been told to do, and secondly because when non-Mormons are dicks to them it only reinforces the collective persecution complex Mormons have.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#69
My dad would invite them in, seat them and offer them drinks.
Then when they would try and convert him, quoting biblical passages, he would stop them and say: "Ah but your book is a translation, it is wrong. I have the original, and that's not what it says."

Then he would take out the old testament and correct them on their interpretations.

They hated him.
BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

I SAY, I SAY, BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

They say when they finally attack, all the impostors will peel themselves. In order to tell if you have been assimilated, check for a zipper somewhere near your pelvis.


#71
I know people who are Jehova's Witnesses (or whatever you call a bunch of them).

They're nice people, one of them is actually one of my best friends. And they never bother me about their religion. Just tell them you're not interested, instead of being a dick.


And if you do decide to be a dick, well then **** you.


EDIT: You can do whatever you want to mormons lol
#72
If Mormon, ask them if there is any physical archaeological evidence of their beliefs.
LOVE ANTHONY GREEN?
Quote by sneyob
I am slightly disappointed =w=eeze took me out of his sig.

But that's okay.

^Consolation Sig
#73
Quote by =w=eeze
If Mormon, ask them if there is any physical archaeological evidence of their beliefs.

You still wouldnt win. You cant just say one thing and make someone go, holy shit you are right, what was i thinking. You wont win. Just say no thank you. I may not be religious anymore but i will defend jehovahs witnesses because they are good people.
#74
Quote by kozmo4200
You still wouldnt win. You cant just say one thing and make someone go, holy shit you are right, what was i thinking. You wont win. Just say no thank you. I may not be religious anymore but i will defend jehovahs witnesses because they are good people.


It shows you're not going to be as likely to convert though
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#75
Quote by kozmo4200
You still wouldnt win. You cant just say one thing and make someone go, holy shit you are right, what was i thinking. You wont win. Just say no thank you. I may not be religious anymore but i will defend jehovahs witnesses because they are good people.


> good people
> knock on peoples doors and tacitly tell them they're worthy of burning for all of time

Pick one.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#77
Quote by Todd Hart
> good people
> knock on peoples doors and tacitly tell them they're worthy of burning for all of time

Pick one.


they're trying to save you from burning for all eternity. sounds pretty good to me.

there are a bunch of them by the wawa i go too. they congregate their during lunch time on saturdays. they're all really nice.

they are also all black. anyone care to explain?
i don't know why i feel so dry
#78
Quote by Eastwinn

they are also all black. anyone care to explain?

Their ancestors were likely brought over from a continent called Africa.
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#79
Quote by Hydra150
Their ancestors were likely brought over from a continent called Africa.


you mean they didn't come voluntarily?

gosh that sounds a little rude
i don't know why i feel so dry
#80
Quote by Eastwinn
you mean they didn't come voluntarily?

gosh that sounds a little rude

Yeah but the white men civilised them so it all worked out in the end.


*runs away from thread*
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do