#1
to shut the **** up at night?

she's an old woman (70ish) and she constantly is yelling at her dog, screaming profanities and singing random shit all day and all night (like 3am at night, night).

what do I do to make her shut up? it's seriously destroying me slowly but surely
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#3
Go bang her


^ Before and after that
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Mar 18, 2013,
#5
Get a louder dog that barks all night and then soundproof your room.

show that bitch you don't **** around
It's over simplified, So what!

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Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
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I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#9
"excuse me ms. whatever, I have to get up early for work and your singing and yelling are keeping me up, could you keep it down a bit? I appreciate it, thank you."
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ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#10
Quote by ErikLensherr
"excuse me ms. whatever, I have to get up early for work and your singing and yelling are keeping me up, could you keep it down a bit? I appreciate it, thank you."



Psh, look at this guy thinking he knows how to solve the problem.
#11
Screw it, file a noise complaint on her. File the hell out of a noise complaint on her.

No mercy.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#12
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Get a louder dog that barks all night and then soundproof your room.

show that bitch you don't **** around



Sorta this, but get a horse too. Dogs love to bark at horses. Bonus points if the horse is loud too.
#13
i've never heard of a loud horse before
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#14
Quote by FearMyLightning
Sorta this, but get a horse too. Dogs love to bark at horses. Bonus points if the horse is loud too.

Omg yay you're using my avi!
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
Get a horse and stoke its long horse **** till it rages for sex in a fiery passionate sneargle, then knock on that bitches smelly old lady door and let the horse rape the denchers out of that slut! she wont be able to sing or annoy you if shes got 12 inches of horsehood down her throat.
#17
...
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#18
Quote by whywefight
kill dog

kill old lady

kill witnesses

kill cops

kill swat

kill armored vehicles

kill national guard

kill army

kill all bystanders

you still a busta CJ!

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

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It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#21
I'm not sure if she realises everyone can hear her. When I see her out the front or something she acts all normal but then she starts up as soon as she goes inside again
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#22
Quote by N_J_B_B
I'm not sure if she realises everyone can hear her. When I see her out the front or something she acts all normal but then she starts up as soon as she goes inside again


Ah, right.


Molotov through the window.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#27
Quote by whywefight
kill dog

kill old lady

kill witnesses

kill cops

kill swat

kill armored vehicles

kill national guard

kill army

kill all bystanders

stay cool hunny bunny

holy fuck, ts lives in Liberty City?!

me must know how input cheat code!

otherwise, just tell her off, man. what's the worst she can do? be an angry old woman? call the cops? noise violations apply to the elderly as well.

be an adult, mate. shit.

edit:
Quote by jthm_guitarist
you still a busta CJ!

beat to it. San Andreas, though... definitely can get away with more shit there...
Last edited by halo43 at Mar 18, 2013,
#28
Play Steel Panther real loud, it won't help you any it's just bitching music.
#29
Molotov cocktails are you best friend, here.
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
#30
just let her know nicely you can hear her. Why is that difficult?
not going viral


Hot E-Cousin of rjaylaf

Non Evil E-Twin of stealstrings

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#31
Dress up in pajamas, show up at like 2am in her front door step, knock on the door, greet yourself as the neighbor next door with your name, then mace that bitch.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#32
File a complaint? As dumb as the reasons may be - ''old lady doesn't stop talking and singing out loud in the middle of the night''.

Or just yell an anonymous short rant telling her to shut the **** up. We've had some neighbors moving in and out around my place, now I have 4 houses behind me that all have dogs, and they all have themselves a barking war at least once a day. When it gets to much I just open the window, yell out a loud sharp ''SHUT THE FUUUUUCK UP!!!! SHUT THOSE ****ING DOGS UP OR I WILL!'' or something like that. And within a few minutes they bring their dogs back inside. I started doing that a few months ago, and the barking has decreased big time because now they don't leave their dogs outside for like 6 hours. Like they bark here and there, for a few minutes at most but then it stops. Which is fine. But for ****'s sake for a while when it started, I was gonna lose my mind. Like when you've got a black lab, a chihuahua, a shi-tzu, and a ****ing great dane losing their shit for 45 minutes 4 times a day. It gets pretty ****ing annoying.


So yeah, all that blabber to say that the anonymous loud yell/rant worked for me, and it's been pretty effective so far. Worst case, I'd fire a shot from a 12 gauge. I mean that's just bound to shut someone up.
Last edited by metalblaster at Mar 18, 2013,
#33
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
Get a horse and stoke its long horse **** till it rages for sex in a fiery passionate sneargle, then knock on that bitches smelly old lady door and let the horse rape the denchers out of that slut! she wont be able to sing or annoy you if shes got 12 inches of horsehood down her throat.

Goddamn you know how to turn me on baby, stuff my turkey bby
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#34
To answer the OP, I believe I would open my mouth, exercise my vocal chords, and shout

"Shut the **** up"
#35
1. Call cops.
2. Tell them your bitchass neighbor lady won't shut the fuck up. (It'll be funnier for me if you use those exact words, so do that.)
3. Wait for cops to knock on her door and snicker at her.
4. Go to bed, savoring dat "sweet silence".
5. ???
6. Repeat making noise complaints until the noises cease forever.
8. Get yourself a girlfriend and have loud, kinky sex. Just because.
9. ???
10. ...
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Mar 18, 2013,
#36
What you want to do is press the air from your stomach, kinda like pushing when you're taking a dump, only without pooping. Keep your vocal chords relaxed, push out the air with your stomach and say the words "Shut the **** up you stupid old hag".

If done correctly, she will have a heart attack and die and all will be well.
#37
I have the same problem. Fat 50 year old Spanish woman next door is always yelling and I can hear her ****ing dog.
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