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#2
Maybe try not writing god-awful reviews?
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#6
Hmm... after taking a listen to the song in the third link in your signature, you're probably better off not getting it reviewed. There's a whole subforum for uploading your recordings. You could post it there if you want.

That being said, I'll give you a short review here. I listen to you song METAL. Wow. That was probably one of the most boring things I've ever listened to. 8 and 1/2 minutes of the exact same sort of half timed rhythms, which more or less no variation in terms of rhythm, tempo, or anything really.

Basically just a bunch of rehashed and completely forgettable riffs that say "hey look, I'm trying to be technical" (they aren't really even technical though; it's more just watered down versions of the type of riffs that boring tech death bands like Necrophagist use ad nauseum).

There is basically no variety in the song at all (save for that completely out of place section at 5:30ish), since it's basically just halftime breakdown, watered down (not even double timed) Necrophagist inspired riff, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

8 minutes of the same rhythm and tempo works just fine if you're playing black metal or funeral doom, which are more atmospheric forms of metal and therefore don't need variations in those departments. For what you're trying to do, however, that's just not going to fly.

The vocals and guitar tones were also very week.

Overall, this was not worse pausing Horn's Naturkraft album for 3 minutes for.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#7
ZING!
You got buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurned.
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#9
Quote by ScytheZone
i dont wanna review my own band, thats dumb.
i was wondering if it was someone else from the UG crew that reviewed material and uploaded it.
user reviews always tend to be very subjective

Unless you're a well-known band, reviews usually come from UG users themselves.

EDIT:

Quote by theogonia777
Hmm... after taking a listen to the song in the third link in your signature, you're probably better off not getting it reviewed. There's a whole subforum for uploading your recordings. You could post it there if you want.

That being said, I'll give you a short review here. I listen to you song METAL. Wow. That was probably one of the most boring things I've ever listened to. 8 and 1/2 minutes of the exact same sort of half timed rhythms, which more or less no variation in terms of rhythm, tempo, or anything really.

Basically just a bunch of rehashed and completely forgettable riffs that say "hey look, I'm trying to be technical" (they aren't really even technical though; it's more just watered down versions of the type of riffs that boring tech death bands like Necrophagist use ad nauseum).

There is basically no variety in the song at all (save for that completely out of place section at 5:30ish), since it's basically just halftime breakdown, watered down (not even double timed) Necrophagist inspired riff, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

8 minutes of the same rhythm and tempo works just fine if you're playing black metal or funeral doom, which are more atmospheric forms of metal and therefore don't need variations in those departments. For what you're trying to do, however, that's just not going to fly.

The vocals and guitar tones were also very week.

Overall, this was not worse pausing Horn's Naturkraft album for 3 minutes for.


On his soundcloud, "Metal" is a set of three separate songs. So I guess it's an EP of sorts.
Last edited by Jon777 at Mar 18, 2013,
#11
Vocals definitely need work, man. I mean, I didn't hate it, but needs some polishing yet.
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#12
Quote by Jon777
On his soundcloud, "Metal" is a set of three separate songs. So I guess it's an EP of sorts.


It's not even noticeable.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#14
Quote by theogonia777
Hmm... after taking a listen to the song in the third link in your signature, you're probably better off not getting it reviewed. There's a whole subforum for uploading your recordings. You could post it there if you want.

That being said, I'll give you a short review here. I listen to you song METAL. Wow. That was probably one of the most boring things I've ever listened to. 8 and 1/2 minutes of the exact same sort of half timed rhythms, which more or less no variation in terms of rhythm, tempo, or anything really.

Basically just a bunch of rehashed and completely forgettable riffs that say "hey look, I'm trying to be technical" (they aren't really even technical though; it's more just watered down versions of the type of riffs that boring tech death bands like Necrophagist use ad nauseum).

There is basically no variety in the song at all (save for that completely out of place section at 5:30ish), since it's basically just halftime breakdown, watered down (not even double timed) Necrophagist inspired riff, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

8 minutes of the same rhythm and tempo works just fine if you're playing black metal or funeral doom, which are more atmospheric forms of metal and therefore don't need variations in those departments. For what you're trying to do, however, that's just not going to fly.

The vocals and guitar tones were also very week.

Overall, this was not worse pausing Horn's Naturkraft album for 3 minutes for.



This.
MY METALZ YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#16
Looks like you got the reviews you wanted. And you didn't even have to bribe any bloggers to get them. Good work, Pit!
Also:
TIRED OF LISTENING TO THE POP SHIT THATS PLAYING ON THE RADIO?

No.
Come at me.
Last edited by Cavalcade at Mar 18, 2013,
#17
Was I the only one that lolled when the singer uttered let's make some thing worth remembering. Serious oppinions I started getting bored at the 2 minute mark, weak guitars, vox and non-existant bass and very lifeless one dimensional drums that felt like a metronome more then a musical instrument. The songs weren't that bad but if you don't give a shit about your performance on the recording neither will the audience. Add more variety and remove a lot of the band tags if I was told that sounded like Nile, Slayer or Megadeth I would be pissed the hell off and insta hate your band.
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#18
I really don't like the lack of tritone breakdowns and gang shouts. Add them and you're pretty much set to success in 2008.
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#19
I really couldn't dig this, it was...forced. By which I mean, the composition seemed lacking, in that it seemed to be specifically written to fit the aesthetic you were going for.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Mar 18, 2013,
#23
"It sounds incredibly good. My friends will enjoy arousing the whales with these mid-ranged puking sounds." - Penguin from Sea World
#24
Quote by Cavalcade
To be fair, the OP was asking for a magazine-quality review; he wasn't asking for constructive feedback from knowledgeable people who were likely to give it. I guess the Pit is as good a place to ask for that as any.

Yeah, but you'd want to get the recording to be great quality before you ask for that.
#25
is there anything more awkward for a band than trying to live up to a strong debut? that's where the death panels found themselves after 2012's 'white america sucks', a concept record exploring suburban teen alienation. taking as many cues from hip hop pranksers odd future and lil b as from more obvious predecessors like neutral milk hotel and the exit bags, 'white america' defined the panels' sound for the majority of listeners—those who hadn't heard their little-known earlier singles.

after a wait that was long enough to be fatal in an age where the music media seems to have the attention span of a goldfish, 'gobbledygook' was announced long enough ahead of its release to create some possibly detrimental hype. the new album's material was solid, but it lacked the 'instant classic' quality of 'white america'. its real weakness, though, was its embarrassing second half, which was composed and performed entirely by the death panels' far inferior labelmate whoomit. long-time fans initially found 'gobbledygook' to be a bit of a disappointment—though now it's easier to appreciate the record's strengths. the band contributed a genial track to the holiday compilation 'xmas crack', but as a seasonal release it wasn't going to stay in anyone's mind for long.

whether you think the death panels are 'over' or not, the rarities collection 'now that's what i call music vol. 666' will please just about any fan. announced with deceptive casualness as 'a present for president's day', it contains tracks as rewarding as anything the band has released to date. close followers will be glad to see an official release of the single-worthy 'the stars of high school bowling'. why the excellent 'sedition is my boyfriend' and 'i was a teenage emo pop revivalist' have gone unheard until now is anyone's guess. it would be fair to argue that these three tracks (maybe throw in 'the politics of a haircut') would be better presented as a briefer ep, but putting them here makes the set a listenable collection for completists. among the other tracks are a demo of 'i ain't yr humphrey bogart' (known on some bootlegs as 'i don't wanna feel blue') and a version of 'excedrin pm is the jumps kid' from when the tune's best lyric had yet to be written. 'piano song' is a fairly interesting experiment, 'dance song' and 'juggalos' are superfluous but don't outstay their welcome, 'uncle jay is a freemason' is a respectable failure, and 'ugh' is a why-did-you-even-save-that-take failure.

★★★★☆

*released at about the same time: the light and enjoyable TIGERS AT THE ZOO.

-randy daniels for allmusic
#28
hey ts have you ever used a scythe? you should buy one for inspiration
i don't know why i feel so dry
#29
thanks a lot to those who actually took time to give their input ....


and yeah some dude who was saying something earlier about a magazine quality review was right. i wasnt looking for a bunch of random dudes personal opinion but rather an accredited person to do so, who's opinion actually matters.

thanks anyways
#30
Yeah man, casinos are definitely a good place to find news about metal bands and such.


Okay here's my input, as 'worthless' as it may be:

I couldn't get through a whole song. I just skipped about after so long, to see if there was any variation. Which there wasn't. The bass is incredibly lacking, which means the songs lose their impact and become even more grating on the ears. All the songs sound pretty much the same, they all have very similar riffs, similar tempos, drums sounds plain and artificial and that blacksmith-like sound is irritating.
METAL is poorly put together - the tracks don't segway well at all, the first track just stops suddenly and then the second starts straight away. The third one just starts awkwardly, because the second track ends off the beat and that anvil-hitting sound is out of place.
The only track that stood out to me was "I Have Tits and Small Hands" and that's only because it didn't sound like a carbon copy of the other tracks.
And another thing, your names are ridiculously cheesy and bad. "The Day God Dies", "I Am Jesus", "Dystopia" etc. And spelling "of" with a "v" instead of an "f" does not make you more edgy. And that sig makes you look like a 13 year old boy who's just discovered metal. Seriously, "F*ck Justin Bieber"? Grow up man. It might not affect your music, but it'll make people hate you before they hear it.
RIP Adam
Last edited by SexyLikeAPig at Mar 19, 2013,
#31
Quote by ScytheZone
i wasnt looking for a bunch of random dudes personal opinion but rather an accredited person to do so, who's opinion actually matters.


So you want an accredited person to tell you everything that is wrong with it instead of some random people on the internet? I don't see what difference it makes.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#33
Quote by ScytheZone

and yeah some dude who was saying something earlier about a magazine quality review was right. i wasnt looking for a bunch of random dudes personal opinion but rather an accredited person to do so, who's opinion actually matters.

thanks anyways

So you asked the Pit. Right...
You might have better luck in Recording. We'll give you critique that you can use. But remember, if you want professional reviews, you'll have to sound professional first. People who "matter" will give you their time when you're worth it, and that's the truth.
Last edited by Cavalcade at Mar 19, 2013,
#36
Quote by ScytheZone
i wasnt looking for a bunch of random dudes personal opinion but rather an accredited person to do so, who's opinion actually matters.


Wow, I can totally see the huge number of fans you're going to make.

It won't be more than The Joshua Garcias, though.
#37
Quote by ScytheZone
and yeah some dude who was saying something earlier about a magazine quality review was right. i wasnt looking for a bunch of random dudes personal opinion but rather an accredited person to do so, who's opinion actually matters.

Why would you assume that:

A) your music is worthy of being given a magazine review? Based upon the quality of the recording and the composition itself, it's clear it is not.

B) the Pit is the right place to go for a magazine quality review? At least if you went to the recording forum, they could help you get the quality of the mixing/mastering up to snuff.


Edit:
I can see how you would want a magazine quality review. However, you have to do the work first. And, like myself and many others, you have not done the work yet.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Mar 19, 2013,
#38
Because 'accredited' reviewers are going to like it any more than we do?


Maybe if it's reviewed by scumcunt metalmagazine or something.
Check out my band Disturbed
#39
Quote by ScytheZone

and yeah some dude who was saying something earlier about a magazine quality review was right. i wasnt looking for a bunch of random dudes personal opinion but rather an accredited person to do so, who's opinion actually matters.

Where do you acquire the accreditation to review music?

Anyways, it's not horrible, but it's not good. It's generic. It's like an inoffensive opening band that everyone will put up with but no one will really enjoy.
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Last edited by thefuzz454 at Mar 19, 2013,
#40
Quote by StewieSwan
Because 'accredited' reviewers are going to like it any more than we do?


Maybe if it's reviewed by scumcunt metalmagazine or something.


Maybe Pitchfork would like it. Ironically, of course.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
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