#1
I've dreamt of a digital
revolution.
Drifting through the cords.

I will transform them to drones.
Mindlessly withering, restlessly complacent drones

Line by line, code by code,
logic and syntax, my dream explodes.

.exe

plant a seed
tearing the fabric
back on tech fixation
glitch in, glitch out
chill skin, self doubt
static stagnance
shake throughout the framework.
Bewildered vex besets, nervousness beyond pins and needles.
strung throughout a void of recollection

Progressive expansion of misery
I've dreamt of a digital revelation,
drifting through the cords.
I will transform them to drones.

Restlessly complacent drones.

Line by line, code by code,
logic and syntax, my dream explodes.

Behold, perceive.

Violently it explodes.

Radiance, ambience, gossamer,
How did I get here?
Elation soaring,
coasting through it,
streaming inwards,
widening lucidity,
bring to light a new level.
Open doors,
I feel the strongest urge to brave and explore this;
impression of familiar feelings.
Horror, awe, so breathtakingly vexed,
consumed by fatigue and pressure,
Give in,
euphoria drifts to dread
sickness plagues throughout
tethered fate, expanding throes.

Rip out these circuits, inside of me.

I've dreamt of a digital
Revelation,
Drifted through the cords
I've transformed into

Mindlessly withering, reslessly complacent drone.

I've dreamt of a digital
Revolution.
Revalation.

The burden of guilt crushes my throat.
I've fixed the world, but ruined myself.
My virus, my vision, my future, my mind;
Disassembled by something that I've designed.

Drone by Sirens.
#2
For some reason, I actually liked this. It has a nice flow and wording. I just wish your punctuation was more precise. This sounds like lyrics to a song, but since I don't have a song to listen to, I have to focus on the words and read it has I should. However, your punctuation is incorrect sometimes and I get lost in the sentences.

I want you te revise this as you'd like this to be read.

Also, "static stagnace" sounds extremely redundant.

All in all, I really liked reading this.


EDIT: Listened to the song, but I can't get past the growling vocals. You shouldn't take that as an offense; it's just not my style.
#4
This was very good in my opinion. And my first reaction to this was "this could fit to prog metal" And indeed it did

I am not that familiar with Djent to be honest, but I got a couple of friends who's been into some of it recently, it's interesting to say the least. Ever heard of Xerath? They're pretty good actually, fusing djent with symphonic elements. Check them out!

Anyways, the "Radiance, ambience, gossamer" stanza was the best part of the song I think, and the conclusion followed afterwards
Last edited by Eccer at Mar 20, 2013,