#1
There's a mosquito in my room somewhere, and I don't know where. I've looked everywhere, under tables, in my electronics, cupboard etc.

This little shit just flew right on to my computer screen at like 3 am, I freaked out and tried to nail him with a book but he escaped my vision. I have no idea where she is now and do not want to be bitten when I'm sleeping.

Do any of you know how to lure out a mosquito? Are there mosquito calls or something I could use
#2
1. Darken your room
2. Have one source of light
...
3. Find its children and hold them hostage until he surrenders.
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
#3
you said him and she.... what is the mozzie a girl or boy LOLL
To The World I Am A Stranger, To A Stranger I Am A Possible Serial Killer


Quote by Wolfinator-x
You guys are so funny xD xoxo <3

Quote by Doveri
Well a human can't sing an Em since that's a chord

If you mean Eb3/E3, then that is a contralto voice.
#4
ONE GODDAMN MOSQUITO?
Just leave it be unless there's actually malaria or ross river virus etc around where you live.
Quote by ChucklesMginty
If God didn't want people to be gay why did he put a G spot in our asses?
#6
Quote by Minkaro
He is called Sarah, and would like you to respect his life choices.

HAHA S'okies
To The World I Am A Stranger, To A Stranger I Am A Possible Serial Killer


Quote by Wolfinator-x
You guys are so funny xD xoxo <3

Quote by Doveri
Well a human can't sing an Em since that's a chord

If you mean Eb3/E3, then that is a contralto voice.
#8
Lay down and play dead. It might not eat you then.
G͔͓̅e͎͉̟̽ͬ͐̎̃͐ͨͅå͈͖͕̹̤̟̐̏͋ͅr̩͕̫̰̗s̹̳̼ͥ̒̍̄̅ͥ̚:


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Tanglewood TW170 AS
Vox Tonelab ST
Blackstar HT-1R


#10
Quote by AndyGray
Lure it out with a slice of salami placed carefully over your erect penis.

How do you think this mess got started in the first place
#12
Quote by Ichikurosaki
you obviously have murderous intent so i;m not going to help you, dick
I heavily edited the story. There was a lot more running out of my room and panicking than book smacking
#13
Ha HA
To The World I Am A Stranger, To A Stranger I Am A Possible Serial Killer


Quote by Wolfinator-x
You guys are so funny xD xoxo <3

Quote by Doveri
Well a human can't sing an Em since that's a chord

If you mean Eb3/E3, then that is a contralto voice.
#14
a mosquito bite won't do anything. go to sleep.

or eat it to gain its powers
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#15
Luckally i dont get bitten by mosquito's wait do you know why?

Gain its powers you mean like a vampire or something ?
To The World I Am A Stranger, To A Stranger I Am A Possible Serial Killer


Quote by Wolfinator-x
You guys are so funny xD xoxo <3

Quote by Doveri
Well a human can't sing an Em since that's a chord

If you mean Eb3/E3, then that is a contralto voice.
#16
Nahh, it's like vacuum tubes right? You eat them, you gain their powers. Y'know, nice tone, smooth break-up or whatever - depends on the tube. Mosquitoes are the same, you eat them - you gain their powers. The clue's in the statement.
RIP Adam
#17
That mosquito is an agent of death. Possibly.
Run for your life!
not going viral


Hot E-Cousin of rjaylaf

Non Evil E-Twin of stealstrings

E-NEMESIS of deathdrummer
#18
Whip out your lolipop. Your pungent smell attract him/her and when he/she gets close enough. Wham! Cockslap that c**t.
Last edited by DreamGate at Mar 19, 2013,
#19
I am in two sigs.

My existence has been validated.

Just wanted to put that out there, I have nothing to contribute otherwise.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: The Police


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#20
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I am in two sigs.

My existence has been validated.

Just wanted to put that out there, I have nothing to contribute otherwise.

one is a shitty quote though
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#21
Quote by N_J_B_B
one is a shitty quote though
Doesn't matter. Had sig.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: The Police


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#22
you're such a whöre sometimes wolfie
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#23
I know it may sound scary but try this: get naked and pull your asscheeks apart. The squirmy mosquito will takea while to appear, but as soon as he gazes upon your beautiful asshole he'll get aroused and he'll slowly transform into a monstruous, delicious black dick. You'll be able to see it's vains pumping blood faster and faser, as it gets harder and harder. A pint of pre cum fluid will drip from it due to excitement, and it'll fly sttaight intro your asshole, as deep as it can possibly go. Your ass will stretch until it tears, warm blood covering the dick as it pulls. You'll scream of agony but you'll soon find your pain replaced with arousement. It'll ram your ass again and again, each penetration making you moan louder. After a good while he'll jizz deep into you. You'll feel the torrent of jizz feeling up your lower instestine, pressing against your shit. Your belly will ache and a few seconds later a torrent of shit will explode from your asscheeks. The soggy black dick will be thrown against the wall with the brute force of it, and it'll probably die. The shit fountain will die out after a few minutes, leaving the back of your legs covered in putrid, sticky diarrhea. As soon as your nostrils notice the smell your mouth will water, saliva pouring from your open mouth. You'll scrape a bit of it from your lowe leg, still wet, with your left index finger. Your right hand will reach for your brownhole and it'll remove and play with a squishy turd. You'lll get as hard as you've ever been, and you'll stuff your hand up your ass. You'll notice that you can fit your full fist easily thanks to the black mosquito dick. You'll massage your prostate as you start chewing on your finger, teeth clenching hard on it. As you get more aroused you'll find yourself biting the finger harder, until you ejaculate and tear through the bone. As the last remnants of cum ooze from your dick you'll swallow the severed finger whole and suck the blood off the stump.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Mar 19, 2013,
#24
Quote by Eissac123
Luckally i dont get bitten by mosquito's wait do you know why?

Yeah some people just don't, including me. There is a reason but I'm really squeamish so I can't explain it, use google.


Do the one light in a room thing and catch it in a glass or something.


edit: goddamnit ometh
#25
Quote by N_J_B_B
you're such a whöre sometimes wolfie
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: The Police


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#26
Quote by Ometh
Not so pleasant stuff


This is why we can't have nice things, Ometh.
RIP Adam
#27
Quote by Ometh
I know it may sound scary but try this: get naked and pull your asscheeks apart. The squirmy mosquito will takea while to appear, but as soon as he gazes upon your beautiful asshole he'll get aroused and he'll slowly transform into a monstruous, delicious black dick. You'll be able to see it's vains pumping blood faster and faser, as it gets harder and harder. A pint of pre cum fluid will drip from it due to excitement, and it'll fly sttaight intro your asshole, as deep as it can possibly go. Your ass will stretch until it tears, warm blood covering the dick as it pulls. You'll scream of agony but you'll soon find your pain replaced with arousement. It'll ram your ass again and again, each penetration making you moan louder. After a good while he'll jizz deep into you. You'll feel the torrent of jizz feeling up your lower instestine, pressing against your shit. Your belly will ache and a few seconds later a torrent of shit will explode from your asscheeks. The soggy black dick will be thrown against the wall with the brute force of it, and it'll probably die. The shit fountain will die out after a few minutes, leaving the back of your legs covered in putrid, sticky diarrhea. As soon as your nostrils notice the smell your mouth will water, saliva pouring from your open mouth. You'll scrape a bit of it from your lowe leg, still wet, with your left index finger. Your right hand will reach for your brownhole and it'll remove and play with a squishy turd. You'lll get as hard as you've ever been, and you'll stuff your hand up your ass. You'll notice that you can fit your full fist easily thanks to the black mosquito dick. You'll massage your prostate as you start chewing on your finger, teeth clenching hard on it. As you get more aroused you'll find yourself biting the finger harder, until you ejaculate and tear through the bone. As the last remnants of cum ooze from your dick you'll swallow the severed finger whole and suck the blood off the stump.


I completely lost my shit reading that
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#28
Quote by SexyLikeAPig
This is why we can't have nice things, Ometh.

We can't have nice thing due to a nice thing
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#29
Move to canadaland. All our bugs are dead right now but then they somehow come back to life and its hell
#31
Quote by Ometh
We can't have nice thing due to a nice thing


YES. You know how two wrongs make a right? It's the same with nice things. Two nice things make a bad.
RIP Adam
#33
you'll just have to fumigate your house
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

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#34
I still haven't seen her and I still haven't slept

The sun is rising but I havemnt gotten bitten

I think we know who won
#35
if you have a smartphone theres an app that apparently repels mosquitoes and bees and flies and sh*t. i havent tried it but its worth a shot.
#37
Quote by Ometh
I know it may sound scary but try this: get naked and pull your asscheeks apart. The squirmy mosquito will takea while to appear, but as soon as he gazes upon your beautiful asshole he'll get aroused and he'll slowly transform into a monstruous, delicious black dick. You'll be able to see it's vains pumping blood faster and faser, as it gets harder and harder. A pint of pre cum fluid will drip from it due to excitement, and it'll fly sttaight intro your asshole, as deep as it can possibly go. Your ass will stretch until it tears, warm blood covering the dick as it pulls. You'll scream of agony but you'll soon find your pain replaced with arousement. It'll ram your ass again and again, each penetration making you moan louder. After a good while he'll jizz deep into you. You'll feel the torrent of jizz feeling up your lower instestine, pressing against your shit. Your belly will ache and a few seconds later a torrent of shit will explode from your asscheeks. The soggy black dick will be thrown against the wall with the brute force of it, and it'll probably die. The shit fountain will die out after a few minutes, leaving the back of your legs covered in putrid, sticky diarrhea. As soon as your nostrils notice the smell your mouth will water, saliva pouring from your open mouth. You'll scrape a bit of it from your lowe leg, still wet, with your left index finger. Your right hand will reach for your brownhole and it'll remove and play with a squishy turd. You'lll get as hard as you've ever been, and you'll stuff your hand up your ass. You'll notice that you can fit your full fist easily thanks to the black mosquito dick. You'll massage your prostate as you start chewing on your finger, teeth clenching hard on it. As you get more aroused you'll find yourself biting the finger harder, until you ejaculate and tear through the bone. As the last remnants of cum ooze from your dick you'll swallow the severed finger whole and suck the blood off the stump.

what the absolute ****
___

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she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...