#1
Hey all,

A few weeks ago, I decided I needed to learn to use chopsticks. Being white, this was always a challenge for me, and being into Asian chicks, this was always a necessity for me.
So during English I had a friend teach me to use them with a couple of pens. A few days later I caught a cold, and had Friday off school, and after some poking around in the kitchen I found some cheap wooden chopsticks that my parents had probably stolen from a Chinese restaurant. So I compared what my friend taught me with what a variety of websites said, and content with the validity of the technique, learned to use them. I haven't used a fork in two weeks, life is good!

Anyway, feeling quite proud of my achievement, I figured it was time to upgrade from shitty peasant wooden food-twigs to something fit for a true lord of Asian cuisine. So I hit up Daiso (which is a Japanese retail outlet thing that sells everything for $2.80) and bought myself a set of stainless steel 'Korean-style' chopsticks.

It was a trap!
They're perfectly round and smooth and I can't freakin hold them! What's the secret?!
#2
Quote by ruletheneck
What's the secret?!



Use a god damned fork like the rest of us.
Sail upon the open skies
#3
I slept with a girl from Kyoto, Japan... She was hot and everything but, I still can't get over what she looked like naked.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#6
You'll never learn how to use chopsticks and all Asian women will laugh at you and tell their friends that you have a tiny dick and you just have to live with that from now on.
#7
Quote by ruletheneck
being into Asian chicks


Like every other white guy in the world.

I think it has to do with feeling superior to Asian males, dong wise. You silly honkeys and your penile inferiority complex.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers

If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
#9


/thread
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


#10
Quote by homeless-john
You'll never learn how to use chopsticks and all Asian women will laugh at you and tell their friends that you have a tiny dick and you just have to live with that from now on.


...people once believed that man couldn't fly.
To be fair, they were right, we needed to invent machines that can fly and carry us at the same time :/


Quote by TunerAddict
Like every other white guy in the world.

I think it has to do with feeling superior to Asian males, dong wise. You silly honkeys and your penile inferiority complex.


Nah, it's more because they're hot - and don't look like my mum or sisters.
#14
Honestly, I laugh a little on the inside whenever I see a non-asian person using chopsticks (whether they are good at it or not), because I know 99% of the time they learned it to try to fit in (I thought it was the other way around?), and not because that's how they were raised.

On the other hand having used chopsticks for the majority of my life I find them much more useful than forks.

Everyone I know seems to have a different technique to using chopsticks, just practice.
#15
They are Korean-style so they can only be used to eat Korean-style food.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#16
Quote by zincabopataurio
Honestly, I laugh a little on the inside whenever I see a non-asian person using chopsticks (whether they are good at it or not), because I know 99% of the time they learned it to try to fit in (I thought it was the other way around?), and not because that's how they were raised.

On the other hand having used chopsticks for the majority of my life I find them much more useful than forks.

Everyone I know seems to have a different technique to using chopsticks, just practice.

I learnt because the best asian restaurants don't let you use knife/fork you wank

herrrdddduuurrrr
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#17
Same as regular chopsticks. Actually I find that it's easier to eat rice with Korean choppies cuz sharp edges break through compacted rice and make it difficult to pick up.

Also, the amount of pressure you apply and the difficulty of using chopsticks are not always directly related. get to know your food, the contours, etc. and you'll have a more enjoyable dining experience AND be good at using chopsticks
cat
#18
asians are just pissed that we came up with a superior invention. in all their "wisdom of the orient" they couldn't conceive of such a simple machine. instead of a sharpened pronged tool they decided the best they could do was two sticks. yeah, and rickshaws are more efficient than cars. getouttaheeah!
#DTWD
#19
white man invented shovels for their mouths. and now they wonder why they've got obesity problems
| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ
#20
I remember my first days of learning how to use chopsticks... It's like holding a fork or a guitar pick, except, you're opening and closing it, that's all. It's really easy when you get the hang of it. Just gotta' keep trying to eat stuff with it.


Quote by Todd Hart
So 'crunk and 'gandhi are already pussy-whipped, impressive.

Quote by Burgery
you just think they're being mean to you because you have fragile girl feelings
#22
Quote by Cianyx
white man invented shovels for their mouths. and now they wonder why they've got obesity problems

Asians try and eat picking up food with two small sticks and now wonder why they're smaller than the rest of the world.
#24
Quote by theogonia777
They are Korean-style so they can only be used to eat Korean-style food.
Using a Korean technique, no less.

It also helps if you are Korean.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: The Police


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#25
Forks are just better, you can cut meat with it, pick up a good amount of rice, I think it's just all around better than chopsticks (although I've never used, or seen anyone use chopsticks before).
#26
I use chopsticks for most things. Very easy to use if you have a functioning brain.
#28
Quote by Avedas
I use chopsticks for most things. Very easy to use if you have a functioning brain.


But if you had a functioning brain, you would realize that a fork is superior.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#29
Quote by theogonia777
But if you had a functioning brain, you would realize that a fork is superior.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: The Police


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#30
Quote by Wolfinator-x


See, it's like this:

Quote by Mark Twain
A person with a functioning brain is someone who knows how to use chopsticks...

...but doesn't.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#31
I'm Chinese and I actually use chopsticks the "wrong" way I do like this sort of scissory motion instead of actually picking the shit up, which is just a bad habit I guess and it stuck and feels natural now.

And yeah, those thin korean metal chopsticks suck :/ BUT, korean food is the ****ing bomb! (open for lame N/S korea joke)
#32
Chopsticks aren't even hard. I picked 'em up at a Japanese restaurant when I was like 10. Haven't used them since though, inferior utensil.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#33
Don't worry too much about proper usage, TS. Just poke your chopsticks into everything, and it'll be all good.

Just keep using, you'll get the hang of it soon enough.