EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#1
Might record it as its actually playable on guitar.

Need to know if this is by any means good. I've spent a long time this past week going through multiple band discographies for inspiration and all that, and this is kind of the end result. I think main influences could be pinned down: Beyond Creation, Xerath, Ihsahn, Aborted, Shining, Enslaved, Obscura.

Also got some br00tal slahmz.

(small note: best heard with reverb on every track except dist guitar, bass and drums)
Attachments:
ermergurd.gp4
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
TheNameOfNoone
Buckethead's Right Hand
Join date: Mar 2011
2,164 IQ
#2
Sounds like Shrek trying to play some lame jazz.
Quote by ChemicalFire
You get my first ever lolstack






The image in my head is just too funny for words at this point


Aw yeah.
MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#3
there is just no consinstincy or build up or release in any of this.

just one random part after another with little to no thought about consistent melody or structure.

its just all over the place.

sounds like you're just trying really hard to make good music in this genre and failing horribly in the process.

take inspiration from the bands that you listen 2 , dont try and mesh it all up into one but make it your own and make music that comes from the heart , not your ego
Last edited by MobiuZ at Mar 24, 2013,
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#4
Quote by MobiuZ
inb4 you


Thats the entire point.

Well now I know what the average person hears, so thanks I guess.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
amonamarthmetal
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
1,808 IQ
#5
Strangely enough, I liked it. Some of the clean breaks didn't have good transitions though.
Gear:
Dean RC7X (Bareknuckle Coldsweat pickups)
Ibanez Rg2570Z (Bareknuckle Juggernaughts)
Schecter KM-6
Schecter Hellraiser Hybrid 7 String
Engl Powerball II
Orange PPC412
Line 6 Pod HD500X
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#6
Quote by amonamarthmetal
Strangely enough, I liked it. Some of the clean breaks didn't have good transitions though.


Yeah, I'll admit that the big one after the 9/8 bit was kind of rushed in. It fits the song, but its positioning and movement needed better transitioning. I think the little two bar arpeggio things were okay, but I also think I need to work on the chords for those. Also I plan to probably get rid of the bit immediately after the long clean section, the blast beaty bit, cuz it's an average idea but I wanted something better. Cheers though
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
TheNameOfNoone
Buckethead's Right Hand
Join date: Mar 2011
2,164 IQ
#7
Quote by EpiExplorer
I think the blahblahblah

Nobody cares what you think about your own song, dude.
Quote by ChemicalFire
You get my first ever lolstack






The image in my head is just too funny for words at this point


Aw yeah.
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#8
Quote by TheNameOfNoone
Pile of wut.


Maybe I just want to explain where I want to take the next version Gotta be open with possible changes.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
Burgery
crack hitler
Join date: Nov 2009
3,179 IQ
#9
cant we all just get along
Quote by Burgery
i dont think ive ever actually critted peoples work in there before, i just like to lurk

oh well here goes:

first part: nothin wrong wit dat :þ
reef: \m/
bar 29: meh. the way it transitions into the next part at 38 is great though, but i think this part should be changed
bar 38: **** yea
bar 46: wen dat riff goes into dis riff i can feel it in my dick, and im barely even high
i'd add a nice little harmony of some kind as it goes into bar 48.
bar 56: dat slow headbang \m/
bar 60: dont even think of changing this part
bar 64: goes back into riff at bar 29 i donno man
bar 68: noice
bar 72: would like to see more of this
bar 76: \m/ holy broots batman
bar 92: my wish came true
bar 101: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :|

thats all i have time for :/

overall i liked it. keep working on it

posted this in the pit and thought you might miss it
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
Last edited by Burgery at Mar 24, 2013,
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#10
Cheers burgz
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#11
Thats the entire point.

Well now I know what the average person hears, so thanks I guess.

whats that supposed to mean ? average person ? because i dont "understand" or listen to your genre ?

i recognize quality music when i hear it , no matter what the genre , so just go ahead and keep fishing for positive comments while you ignore the negative ones , that will surely improve your writing skills.

and maybe try to broaden your vision a bit and listen to different genres of music instead of just your "herpderp im angry" music , you can learn a lot if you open up yourself to things out there.
Last edited by MobiuZ at Mar 24, 2013,
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#12
Quote by MobiuZ
More wut


This is such a youtube comment, its up there with 'bro get a lyf' and 'arbitrary pedanticism about subject A'.

And yeah, average person as in 'person I dont know/cant determine musical taste of purely from them existing' sort of average person. I guess 'random person' works better.

I like how you seem to be very quick to point out I like so called 'angry music' As if you instantly know everything about what I listen to, write or am inspired by. Please, just Just think of something better than this

Besides, I didn't ignore your post lightly. I've implied that I'd prefer individual bits critted rather than broad generalizations. I'm trying to go for something twisted and crazy, and the reason all of it seems out of place or 'without consistent melody or structure' is cuz I've purposefully chosen not to write some catchy happy bullshit Do you really need me to explain this for you?
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#13
Quote by EpiExplorer
This is such a youtube comment, its up there with 'bro get a lyf' and 'arbitrary pedanticism about subject A'.

And yeah, average person as in 'person I dont know/cant determine musical taste of purely from them existing' sort of average person. I guess 'random person' works better.

I like how you seem to be very quick to point out I like so called 'angry music' As if you instantly know everything about what I listen to, write or am inspired by. Please, just Just think of something better than this

Besides, I didn't ignore your post lightly. I've implied that I'd prefer individual bits critted rather than broad generalizations. I'm trying to go for something twisted and crazy, and the reason all of it seems out of place or 'without consistent melody or structure' is cuz I've purposefully chosen not to write some catchy happy bullshit Do you really need me to explain this for you?


Sorry, but..

Quote by EpiExplorer
Might record it as its actually playable on guitar.

Need to know if this is by any means good. I've spent a long time this past week going through multiple band discographies for inspiration and all that, and this is kind of the end result. I think main influences could be pinned down: Beyond Creation, Xerath, Ihsahn, Aborted, Shining, Enslaved, Obscura.

Also got some br00tal slahmz.

(small note: best heard with reverb on every track except dist guitar, bass and drums)


Not saying I agree with anyone though
A few quick words about the song: It's not really my style, I do however think it's a cool song, and I would probably listen to if it were recorded and produced well, because some of the parts sound really neat, I just don't think GP does this song justice!
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
Join date: Apr 2011
1,258 IQ
#14
@Erra93: Your point would be valid if those artists were purely Metal. However atmosphere is a very important thing in Black Metal. Listen to Frost by Enslaved and anything from the newer albums, Ihsahn is pretty strange too. Some of those Tech Death bands have some Fusion-esque sounding stuff I might add.

Not hating, just raising points that I see as valid. Have a good day people.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#15
Quote by HaydenHohns
@Erra93: Your point would be valid if those artists were purely Metal. However atmosphere is a very important thing in Black Metal. Listen to Frost by Enslaved and anything from the newer albums, Ihsahn is pretty strange too. Some of those Tech Death bands have some Fusion-esque sounding stuff I might add.

Not hating, just raising points that I see as valid. Have a good day people.


It is still valid, because I never pointed out the fact that they are all metal, just the fact that yes, he did instantly know what he was inspired by in this case, whatever, no big deal
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
Join date: Apr 2011
1,258 IQ
#16
@Erra93: Yes, but Mobiuz was referring to such qualities which you then referred to from EpiExplorer which is where your core argument stems from, right? Left? He did but I'm guessing Mobiuz might not be familiar with the dynamics and other intricacies in those artists. To each his own anyway. Thanks for not turning this friendly debate into a f***fest.

Sorry, I'm just a logic machine with all the discrete mathematics and programming I've been doing lately. Plus I might be posting a few new pieces on this forum very soon so I thought I might make myself noticed once more.

@EpiExplorer: I'll try to get to this piece soon but some things I noticed:

1. I love your chord progressions, they're downright awesome. Very lush, something which some dense synths could really make fantastic once you start layering it.

2. I'm noticing a distinct lack of thematic development. It would be nice to hear some buildups and some reprisals of themes (if you did this then you didn't try hard enough ).
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#17
Quote by HaydenHohns
@Erra93: Yes, but Mobiuz was referring to such qualities which you then referred to from EpiExplorer which is where your core argument stems from, right? Left? He did but I'm guessing Mobiuz might not be familiar with the dynamics and other intricacies in those artists. To each his own anyway. Thanks for not turning this friendly debate into a f***fest.

Sorry, I'm just a logic machine with all the discrete mathematics and programming I've been doing lately. Plus I might be posting a few new pieces on this forum very soon so I thought I might make myself noticed once more.

@EpiExplorer: I'll try to get to this piece soon but some things I noticed:

1. I love your chord progressions, they're downright awesome. Very lush, something which some dense synths could really make fantastic once you start layering it.

2. I'm noticing a distinct lack of thematic development. It would be nice to hear some buildups and some reprisals of themes (if you did this then you didn't try hard enough ).


Haha, I give up! I just thought it was a funny little silly contradiction!
Btw, I'm going to college/university for computer science this fall, schwoah! Programming broz!
Sorry for going kind of off-topic, Epi.
MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#18
Quote by EpiExplorer
This is such a youtube comment, its up there with 'bro get a lyf' and 'arbitrary pedanticism about subject A'.

And yeah, average person as in 'person I dont know/cant determine musical taste of purely from them existing' sort of average person. I guess 'random person' works better.

I like how you seem to be very quick to point out I like so called 'angry music' As if you instantly know everything about what I listen to, write or am inspired by. Please, just Just think of something better than this

Besides, I didn't ignore your post lightly. I've implied that I'd prefer individual bits critted rather than broad generalizations. I'm trying to go for something twisted and crazy, and the reason all of it seems out of place or 'without consistent melody or structure' is cuz I've purposefully chosen not to write some catchy happy bullshit Do you really need me to explain this for you?


Oh the irony , if you want people to give you serious comments id suggest you do the same, this is what you replied to one of my songs:
"Is it wierd that the lead line sounds vaguely similar to 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle..'


Also, its not great as a song. Solid, but not great. Its like one of those southern country artists that Glenn Beck gets on his show
".

Anyways if its not your genre don't crit on it , as you can see how dumb it is when i crit on one of your songs and burn it down even if i dont have any interest in the genre its made in.

and having structure and melody doesnt mean that your song is "catchy happy bullshit" it just means having logic in the writing process imo.

Im sorry for being rude and i wont comment on your songs anymore since its not my kind of music , i hope you do the same.
Last edited by MobiuZ at Mar 25, 2013,
tac_sundome
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2012
122 IQ
#19
It sounds very neutral and hollow for me. The atmospheres are not bad but i find the progressions very disappointing and boring, nothing that catches my attention. After 2 minutes it becomes more of a background noise than actual music. But thats just me.

If your aim was to write something complex, yet listenable you succeeded on a level, but if you wanted to channel/express your thoughts/feelings/anything that people can relate to in music (and not just your musical ideas) you failed imo.
Last edited by tac_sundome at Mar 26, 2013,
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#20
Quote by tac_sundome


If your aim was to write something complex, yet listenable you succeeded on a level, but if you wanted to channel/express your thoughts/feelings/anything that people can relate to in music (and not just your musical ideas) you failed imo.


I'm not quite seeing what you mean in the second statement, if I'd wanted it to have been expressive, I'd have written it with vocals and hooks in mind, and it'd be pretty different. Dont want to sound disparaging towards your comment, I just kind of see the existence of the piece itself as its own expression Working on something that has room for vocals so I'd like probs like your opinion on that too.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#21
Quote by EpiExplorer
Also got some br00tal slahmz.


Will check this out for sure.

EDIT: You definitely nailed it with this song genre wise IMO. I wish I had the time for a proper crit, maybe later.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Mar 28, 2013,
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
Join date: Apr 2011
1,258 IQ
#22
@EpiExplorer: OK, I can finally get to this.

Like I said, the progressions are fantastic, melody is nice and calm (for now).

The (intro) triplet section reminds me of later Emperor, which I am enjoying as of now. My only recommendation for these sections are for you to take advantage of thematic development and start adding in some counter melodies and extra sections to allow these sections to develop.

Also, dotted triplet = note without triplet and dot.

Slams are pretty damn good but they feel very out of place. I think you have an over-abundance of ideas. What I would do now is split up the main ideas and start making multiple songs and develop these ideas. They need to go somewhere instead of this cyclic formula you have.

I also imagine some "The Faceless" vocals would suit this very well.

Overall, you have awesome ideas but they aren't developed enough to get anything out of them. My recommendation is for you to pull this piece apart and take the very different ideas/riffs/themes/progressions and start new pieces out of them. Think of the positives, you can probably milk half an album out of these ideas.

Seriously though, if you did this, you would (IMO) have one hell of an album on your hands.

Also, I might have a new piece on here soon. If I don't then you just received a free crit. Check back over the next couple of days and if there is something here then you owe me a crit. Sounds good to me.
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,130 IQ
#23
Alright, let's do this... I've heard this twice before, and actually had a bit of a crit written, but I decided to wait.

The intro is cool, and I love the way it suddenly transitions into the chaotic death metal bit. The synths are a really nice touch. I think I'm appreciating this a lot more, this time around.

Bar 29 is cool as fuck. Probably one of the best riffs I've heard on UG in a while. This is one of the parts that I actively recall about this song.

Ah, bar 38, too. I recall that that theme is repeated a few times, I really like it.

I also remember that my main qualm with the piece is that it doesn't go anywhere. While all the parts are cool, it doesn't build to anything. It just kind of happens, and then disappears. Of course, if that was your intention, it's all good.

Is bar 54 a reference to the intro?

At bar 76, I notice that you've gotten a little more restrained with your chords. That is good A lot of the unnecessary dissonance that was prevalent in your other songs is gone now.

Bars 95 and 99 are just awesome, loving the consonance in the middle of all that dissonance.

The transition into 117 makes no sense, and that part comes out of nowhere. This is the point at which I start giving up on the song. It seems like random part after random part.

The transition into 166 is good, though. If you decide to use 117, 166 would be very effective after it.

I'm seeing some hints of the "verse" and "chorus" in the outro. Pretty cool. The ending comes out of nowhere, though. As I said, by 117, I'm just getting lost within the song (and not in a good way). And the rest just sort of... happens.

I agree with what Hayden said. You might benefit if you developed your ideas a bit more and tread on them a bit longer, rather than quickly cycling through all of the material. This method never really allows for the development of tension over the whole duration of the piece. Rather, it all just sort of happens.

Your stuff is always cool to listen to, though.