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#1
This is a thread where we can talk about the greatest country on earth (America).


Here are some facts about America:

-America was the first country to separate church and state

-America was specifically mentioned by Jesus in the New Testament
-If you took all the bad shit out of England and made it a million times bigger, it would be America
-America takes your shitty food and makes it actually taste good
-The dumbest Americans are still smarter than the brightest Europoors
-God founded America
-Jazz
-America has way more money than every other country combined
-America is the only country with a red, white, and blue flag


NO TROLLING
Check out my band Disturbed
#5
-The moon is 100% American.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Mar 25, 2013,
#7
Quote by StewieSwan

NO TROLLING

hmpf, fine
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#9
New Jersey here

You guys might actually decide we might not be the worst state in this country if you actually gave it a chance......maybe
#10
Quote by beefcake122
separation of church and state is not in the constitution

but it is in the bill of rights, AKA 'The Bill of Why America is Better Than Wherever The **** You ******s Live'
#11
Quote by StreetLight3989
New Jersey here

You guys might actually decide we might not be the worst state in this country if you actually gave it a chance......maybe



I can think of at least 10 states that suck worse than NJ, but by 'suck' I mean 'infinitely preferable to Eur-poor'
Check out my band Disturbed
#12
I feel persecuted by this thread
if only I had as many rights as the Americans
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#13
Quote by StewieSwan
I can think of at least 10 states that suck worse than NJ, but by 'suck' I mean 'infinitely preferable to Eur-poor'

*High-Five*
#14
Quote by beefcake122
separation of church and state is not in the constitution


The original post said no trolling.
#15
- Little known fact: America was never English colonies. What you read in your history books is historical revisionism by embarrassed Brits. America sprung forth from an Eagle's egg and England tried to send troops to conquer it, but got their asses kicked by gun-totin freedom lovers.
#16
Quote by Hydra150
I feel persecuted by this thread
if only I had as many rights as the Americans

Do not be intimitaded

'The only thing to fear is everything that's not American'

-JFK
#17
America was the world's first democracy, and to this day we remain by far the richest and most free nation in the history of mankind. It truly is the land of opportunity. If you love freedom and liberty, you come to America; if not, I guess you must remain in your own under-developed country. I would never think about living outside of the United States, and I feel for those who don't have the fortunate chance to be blessed by the glorious wings of freedom and opportunity.
#18
Quote by whywefight
Do not be intimitaded

'The only thing to fear is everything that's not American'

-JFK

Wow. Way to totally misquote FJDFRK

The quote is "The only thing to fear is Americans you Europansies. We'll liberate your asses until you shit yourselves silly."
#19
Oh what's that? I can't hear you over my SUPERIOR HEALTH CARE AND ECONOMY.

Thanks, Obama
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#20
Europeans act like America's the backwards one, but did you know not a single European country has elected a black president or prime minister? Fascism and communism were also both developed in Europe. Draw your own conclusions.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#21
honestly even though MURICANS are ****nig stupid I have a lovehate thing for america, living in onrway or sctoland woud be cool but I don't think I could leave ohio
sunbather is shit
#22
Quote by beefcake122
honestly even though MURICANS are ****nig stupid I have a lovehate thing for america, living in onrway or sctoland woud be cool but I don't think I could leave ohio

Get the **** out, America hater


*thunderous applause*
#23
Quote by whywefight
Get the **** out, America hater

But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#25
This is if the Seven. quarter five preposterous.

Hour the catman to the jupiter ship
#26
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders


drunk threads are cancer so this is my drunk thread
sunbather is shit
#27
Oh yeah, Hydra (a dirty eurofag) just reminded me that America is also the most accepting of other cultures. Nowhere can claim to be near as diverse and welcoming than America. My ancestors came from Scotland and Ireland to pursue a better life of freedom. I am half Irish, one fourth Scottish, and one fourth Native American. I get drunk every Saint Patrick's Day to celebrate my Irish culture. I bet if my ancestors moved to France for some reason they would be persecuted for celebrating their heritage, and if I recall correctly France has banned alcohol.

Edit: I forgot to mention that those europoors in Scotland aren't real Scottish like I am because that's in stupid eurofag land.
Last edited by slipknot5678 at Mar 25, 2013,
#28
Quote by slipknot5678
, and if I recall correctly France has banned alcohol.

along with soap and freedom
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#29
Quote by Hydra150
along with soap and freedom



Can't ban what you never had
Check out my band Disturbed
#30
Quote by StewieSwan
Can't ban what you never had

I think the Germans left some soap in the 40s though
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#31
Genesis 15:18 - In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "Unto thy seed have I given this land, from sea to shining sea, and as a bastion against socialist Eurofags it shall stand until the end of days. Semper fi."
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#32
Quote by Hydra150
I think the Germans left some soap in the 40s though


America saved those stupid French ****s in the war and they repay us by not backing us up in Iraq. Those stupid pricks are cowards. By not supporting us in war, they have shown that hey are afraid of America's might. They are so ungrateful that they dare not follow us into glory- leading another oppressive dictatorship to the light of American democracy. I think I'll go eat some freedom fries now.

Speaking of Germany, America showed by the end of the war our virtue. Instead of punishing the Germans as some stupid French **** would have it; we generously rebuilt Germany (and other parts of Eurpoor) with the Marshall Plan. America is so altruistic.
#33
Quote by barden1069
Genesis 15:18 - In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "Unto thy seed have I given this land, from sea to shining sea, and as a bastion against socialist Eurofags it shall stand until the end of days. Semper fi."



... And it was so.. and still is unto this day. Despite those pathetic illegal settlers trying to invade the land of Jacob.
#34
Quote by StewieSwan
This is a thread where we can talk about the greatest country on earth (America).


Here are some facts about America:

-America was the first country to separate church and state

NO TROLLING


That one always makes me laugh, because people in America won't vote for anyone that doesn't have their dick firmly between Jesus' buttcheeks.
#35
Quote by JackalUK
That one always makes me laugh, because people in America won't vote for anyone that doesn't have their dick firmly between Jesus' buttcheeks.



Typical Brit getting it totally wrong. It's Jesus' dick firmly between their buttcheeks, not the other way around.
Check out my band Disturbed
#36
How does that work, Jesus is dead. You can **** a corpse but a corpse can't **** you.
#37
Quote by JackalUK
That one always makes me laugh, because people in America won't vote for anyone that doesn't have their dick firmly between Jesus' buttcheeks.

Hey he said NO TROLLING
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#38
Quote by JackalUK
That one always makes me laugh, because people in America won't vote for anyone that doesn't have their dick firmly between Jesus' buttcheeks.

Hmmm.

STಠ_ಠ
#39
Quote by slipknot5678
I get drunk every Saint Patrick's Day to celebrate my Irish culture
Hell yeah!



I can't help but feel that America took that holiday and 1upped the hell out of it in order to make all the Irish people who stayed in the old country feel all jelly and bad about themselves. Sucks for them!!

However, I think you guys should stop giving Cinco de Mayo that same treatment because you're kinda drawing in all the Mexicans

/] 三方 [\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#40
You people are always talking about America in EVERY thread. So this thread will be for all the other nationalities.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
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