#1
Spit aside blood that oozes
from my gums. The camera pans
around my feet. The foreground slowly
falls out of focus.

It comes to light; the droves surrounding.
I've heard it before, in the thunderings above. Hollow
voices bellow from up there of reckonings forthcoming.
The camera changes again. Close up. Half face
half frame right. A cocked smile.
A pretty fucking big authority problem.

Tidal ranks of the scourges swell.
Endless masses to take the place
of where the previous fell.
I've heard the words impossible before.
Contorted shapes where their faces dwell.
Defeated, I heard. Uttered unconfidently.
I heard reason where they heard the knell

Old school western widescreen effects.
Feel shoulder width apart. Chest
forward. Pan shot of surges readied.

They've got me surrounded...


...those poor bastards.
Last edited by JustRooster at Mar 25, 2013,
#2
I really liked this. Word choice is great, and it is a fun read overall. Had to read it a couple of times though, but I think I got it in the end. It has its snappy nature, and a cool vibe throughout the piece, and that's why I think, it kept me interested to read again and again. It kinda reminds me of a boss we have at work...the kind that wears belt buckets with weapons and american propaganda imprinted on it.
#3
Like this. One of those poems you read and wish you'd written.. At times soaring with a touch of the epic and then suddenly up close and chewing on your face. Good imagery and a really decent ending too. Enjoyed it a lot.