RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#1
Well, here's part 2. Funny story, actually... When I first began writing Spirals, I ended up finishing the song without using the "main" climax, and so I split it into two parts. Spirals pt. 1 would be the introduction to the ideas, and pt. 2, which would include the main climax, would be the conclusion.

And so, I've been slaving away at part 2, trying to build up the song to that elusive climax I had planned. Well, shit happened, and now I've split the songs again. Spirals will probably be a three or four part affair.

Anyways, here's part 2. I won't even bother listing influences anymore (although I will give special credit to Obscura, Alarum, and Anata for influencing certain parts of this). I'm pretty happy with the way this turned out. Regarding the markers, they're just general ideas for now, intended for myself as much as they are for you . I plan on writing lyrics/a specific story for this later.

Um... Not sure what else there is to say! C4C, and enjoy
Attachments:
Spirals pt. 2 (Human).zip
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
Join date: Apr 2011
1,257 IQ
#2
Fantastic work once again! Do you compose nothing but masterpieces now? Or are you some immortal god that hears what we cannot?

But to bring things down to earth for a bit, some of the transitions which fade in and out (bars 108-109 for example) are annoying to me. They disrupt the flow (IMO). If you fade in while you're in your phrase/progression then it will be quicker and you should achieve a better flow. The exception to this is the one at bars 185-186 since it makes the listener anticipate/wait for that "moment" of awesomeness.

One thing I really admired was that you could conjure images of the greatest aspects of Meshuggah (and better) and not tune to drop Z in "Human" (the section not the entire piece). The bends that changed key every few bars make a great build.

Another thing that I thought was fantastic was the images you conjure up with those fantastically dense timbres. They sound so lush at times. I don't know how you do this since the artists you list as influences are not equal to their sum (this piece).

Overall that was a fantasticly magnificent piece. I would consider compressing this four part series so that your finish in part 2 here is more "complete" in terms of cadences if you don't want to keep extending it. If you record this then I think it would also be good if you broke it up for easy navigation.

I might be posting something very soon. Keep an eye out for it in the next few days. If it isn't up then you've gotten away with a free crit, otherwise you're in trouble.

Thanks again for posting this, I hope you continue because the music you make is very enjoyable.
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,557 IQ
#3


I hope you dont mind if my stunned silence counts as a crit.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#4
Sounds insanely great, if only you'd ever record your stuff!
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#5
Quote by HaydenHohns
Fantastic work once again! Do you compose nothing but masterpieces now? Or are you some immortal god that hears what we cannot?


For every "masterpiece" I create, there are another 10 or so ideas that are pure shit :P

But to bring things down to earth for a bit, some of the transitions which fade in and out (bars 108-109 for example) are annoying to me. They disrupt the flow (IMO). If you fade in while you're in your phrase/progression then it will be quicker and you should achieve a better flow. The exception to this is the one at bars 185-186 since it makes the listener anticipate/wait for that "moment" of awesomeness.


Hm, you're right, the transition did seem sub-par to me, but I didn't think it was a huge deal. I may try messing around with it to see if I can come up with something better.

Another thing that I thought was fantastic was the images you conjure up with those fantastically dense timbres. They sound so lush at times. I don't know how you do this since the artists you list as influences are not equal to their sum (this piece).


Well, those weren't the only influences. The bands I mentioned influenced very specific aspects of the song - as in, I consciously thought of those bands as I was writing. For instance, Alarum at bar 36, Anata at bar 47, Obscura at 165. As for the rest, I guess I just picked it up from all of the other artists I listen to

I might be posting something very soon. Keep an eye out for it in the next few days. If it isn't up then you've gotten away with a free crit, otherwise you're in trouble.


Haha, I'll keep looking!

Quote by EpiExplorer


I hope you dont mind if my stunned silence counts as a crit.


Meh, you had space for at least three more 's. Sorry, not a valid crit.

Actually, I'll probably crit one of your songs anyways (probably your latest - I do believe there were things I wanted to say about it).

Quote by Erra93
Sounds insanely great, if only you'd ever record your stuff!


Haha, I've been getting the motivation recently to learn and record my songs. It'll be quite the task, but hopefully my friend and I can get it done. Guitar Pro files simply aren't enough anymore.

Thanks for listening, guys And thank you for enjoying
Last edited by RedDeath9 at Apr 3, 2013,
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
Join date: Apr 2011
1,257 IQ
#6
@RedDeath9: Yeah, I wouldn't worry about looking just now. I think I might wait until my real holidays are a lot closer. I had a week off (coming to an end by Sunday)but I've spent some of that catching up on Uni and the rest of it chilling while writing some music. I'm getting pretty close to an album's worth of music (six pieces I consider done and a seventh is on the way) so I might wait until around June-July before I post it/them. Then after a few crits I'll start recording it all. So if you're still interested in it at that point or you have another piece ready at that time then we'll see. Anyway, I look forward to hearing these recorded and I look forward to a part three and four if they eventuate.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#7
Quote by RedDeath9
Haha, I've been getting the motivation recently to learn and record my songs. It'll be quite the task, but hopefully my friend and I can get it done. Guitar Pro files simply aren't enough anymore.

Thanks for listening, guys And thank you for enjoying


Awesome! I might actually try to learn to play them too sometime to improve my playing haha.

Most parts just seem to require insane tightness and skill (I do realize some harmonies are impossible to play on one guitar though, 16-16-8-27 for example), I'm guessing you're already quite the guitarist?
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#8
Quote by Erra93
Awesome! I might actually try to learn to play them too sometime to improve my playing haha.

Most parts just seem to require insane tightness and skill (I do realize some harmonies are impossible to play on one guitar though, 16-16-8-27 for example), I'm guessing you're already quite the guitarist?


Oh, about that... I realize some parts are very difficult. There are some that are difficult but achievable, and some parts that'll probably require some changing around (Mostly, these are mostly the impossible chords [like 24634x). And yeah, whenever I do something like 16-16-8-27, I'm just stacking harmonies, of course it's not meant to be playing on one guitar at the same time There are a lot of other instances like that, where I've stacked harmonies. I suppose it's up to you where you want to play them.

Funny thing is, I try to be very realistic with the solos. I've tried out the things at bar 44, 173, 295, and they all seem pretty reasonable (with some notation changes). You have to keep in mind I don't actually write most of this stuff on guitar first, so I go by pure sound a lot, without regards to what's playable. This sometimes causes problems

As for me being quite the guitarist... Eh. For 7-8 years of playing, I could be much better. I'm trying to make up for the wasted time, now.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#9
Quote by RedDeath9
Oh, about that... I realize some parts are very difficult. There are some that are difficult but achievable, and some parts that'll probably require some changing around (Mostly, these are mostly the impossible chords [like 24634x). And yeah, whenever I do something like 16-16-8-27, I'm just stacking harmonies, of course it's not meant to be playing on one guitar at the same time There are a lot of other instances like that, where I've stacked harmonies. I suppose it's up to you where you want to play them.

Funny thing is, I try to be very realistic with the solos. I've tried out the things at bar 44, 173, 295, and they all seem pretty reasonable (with some notation changes). You have to keep in mind I don't actually write most of this stuff on guitar first, so I go by pure sound a lot, without regards to what's playable. This sometimes causes problems

As for me being quite the guitarist... Eh. For 7-8 years of playing, I could be much better. I'm trying to make up for the wasted time, now.


Haha yeah, I didn't realize that in your earlier songs, so I just figured you had like 10 or so fingers widely separated to play all the notes, but I guess not, meh..

After having listened to them again, I can safely say I can't play them at my skill level and yeah I can imagine that, but it does make for some very cool solos, so.. I dunno

Damn, still! And also, maaan, bar 187 is perfection. Love the melody!
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#10
Quote by Erra93
Haha yeah, I didn't realize that in your earlier songs, so I just figured you had like 10 or so fingers widely separated to play all the notes, but I guess not, meh..

After having listened to them again, I can safely say I can't play them at my skill level and yeah I can imagine that, but it does make for some very cool solos, so.. I dunno

Damn, still! And also, maaan, bar 187 is perfection. Love the melody!


Haha, sorry to disappoint you

Thanks

Also, I try to make my own songs far more playable than my collaborations with Tarbosh, if you're looking at those songs. They are pretty ridiculously over-the-top.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#11
Quote by RedDeath9
Haha, sorry to disappoint you

Thanks

Also, I try to make my own songs far more playable than my collaborations with Tarbosh, if you're looking at those songs. They are pretty ridiculously over-the-top.


Haha yeah, I was actually thinking of "Thresholds Collapse"