#1
Hey all, I really have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to lyrics, but I had a go anyway. It's pretty bad, but I'd appreciate some ideas on how to improve. Thanks


Your beautifully broken eyes
reflect a heart that's just the same
care was all you did for me
and I gave it back with pain
so I hope you see
the tears behind these bitter bones
and I hope we leave
never to return again

So come with me
take my hand
I'll lead you here
and leave you in the rain

Your tear stained cheeks
are the marks I leave
healing is what you give
but sorry, that's not for me
so I hope you see
my heart, not what's on my face
and I hope we leave
before we have to stay

So come with me
take my hand
I'll lead you here
and leave you in the rain
go where I say
wait there awhile
there you'll sit alone
at a table meant for two


Sorry if that's a painful read haha, any advice is appreciated
C4C if you like, not sure how much help I'll be though.

Thanks in advance
#2
That was actually a pretty decent start. It's very descriptive and not overly generic. I'd say use more variety with your verses like the last 4 lines. Rather than talking about tears and hearts. If I were you I'd use the second verse or maybe combine parts of the first and second, use it as the first and write a new second verse. Good job though, bud.