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#1
he found it outside

hes been playing with it all day its his favorite toy

i kind of want to take it away from him because its awkward but he would be heartbroken

what do i do
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#4
stick it up your bum

then he cant reach dildo

make sure you leave his head sticking out though

or he wont be able to breath

edit:
Quote by sam b
Get the **** off UG and shove it up your arse

weirdest ninja
#5
Well, Whenever my pets bring me something I eat it as a sign of respect

I suggest you eat the dildo.

Video tape it too(so you can show it to him later if he gives you attitude, Upload it to youtube so you can have easy access to it at all times )
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#8
i see a dildo and i want to paint it black
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
#11
Quote by lncognito
stick it up your bum

then he cant reach dildo

make sure you leave his head sticking out though

or he wont be able to breath

This made me laugh harder than it should have
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#14
oh, pimping

I've been reading that as "pinping" for over a minute and trying to figure out what the hell he's talking about
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#18
Quote by whywefight
Sounds like you need a prostitute


Have I got the girl for you



For how can I give the King his place of worth above all else
when I spend my time striving to place the crown upon myself?
#19
I guess you could find a convincing substitute for a dildo, you know like <insert pop-culture reference here> or that guy with the forehead from ITV News.
#20
1) Get a female dog and a video camera.
2) Start a dog porn website
3) ??????
4) Profit.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
#21
The most my cat brings me is dead animals... Well, she keeps them, like she kills a mouse, takes it in, and falls to sleep next to it... I always wash where the dead thing's been.
#22
Your dog is trying to tell you to go fuck yourself Burg.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#28


Okay here's what you do. Take a knife and cut off the tip of the penis so no one immediately recognizes it as a dildo. Kind of like a circumcision, only you're cutting away a quarter of the whole thing. Problem solved.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#29
Quote by Joshua Garcia


Okay here's what you do. Take a knife and cut off the tip of the penis so no one immediately recognizes it as a dildo. Kind of like a circumcision, only you're cutting away a quarter of the whole thing. Problem solved.

So, why aren'y you over your bipolar?

God you're sick.

Okay, to be fair, I did just call every dog a bitch or son of a bitch but, that's just wrong JG.
Last edited by treborillusion at Apr 1, 2013,
#30
It doesn't work when you do it babe.

And besides, I'm not trying to make fun of you for it or anything, I genuinely want to know why you haven't dealt with it. You seem to be completely avoiding the question, so I'll just keep asking.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#31
I wonder if there's a market for used dildos on ebay?


Hmmm... I'd need a used dildo or a dog to go get me one but... Hmmmm... TS, you might get a lot of money for that skanky piece of plastic, if you find the right perverted market for it.
#32
I hope you gave him a good ass ****ing


Weird, why was "kick" sensored there?
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#34
lol april fools i dont have a dog lol i trol u
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#35
butthurt silence in here
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#39
Quote by Shaco
Wow that girl is ****ing gorgeous. I have the nastiest ideas that I would like to do with her.

Cool 10

Dude, it actually turns out that's not her, that profile just has pics of some girl from a pop punk band.
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