Unemployed, bordom has finally turned up and I desperatley need to get out of my room

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#1
I have been Unemployed now for nearly a year. I have not once gone outside to get to know people mainly because to do that involves getting drunk and deaf in loud bars pumping out dance music that doesn't make you wanna dance at all.

Don't get me wrong I have / had friends. My remaining friends are two, one who has moved down to the south of the UK to work, the other who works but isn't the outgoing type and more negative minded than positive. THe rest of my friends either moved away, at uni, bridges burnt or I just got bored with the same boring interests.

So because I am unemployed, this isolation has gradually got worse. My parents are basically my best friends now and that's just so ****ing lame.

I live in an area of the UK that is so dead, the only clubs that exist are zumba clubs for fat or post-pregnant women; karate clubs; bowling clubs (bowls); rugby clubs and football clubs.

Not only are they dire, they cost too!! (NO offence to the sports fans - I'm just not into that stuff)

So the point of this thread which I am getting to is that I am ****ing bored with being unable to get a job in mechanical engineering which I am trained up to be, tired of shops telling me I am over qualified when I'm not really I just managed to put up with college long enough to get a HNC in a dying trade.

To be blunt I have no friends, no social life, no girlfired. I have a dog which is the most positive thing right now but apart from that ugh so bored.

I would like to move away from home to mainly a city where there are people who aspire to meet strangers and actually do things of interest.

I am self teaching myself guitar but I do want to meet someone who also plays guitar but also wants a 'buddy' to play with just so I can sort of socialise without pumping alcohol or drugs into my system and whilst spending all this free time I also need career suggestions.

I am a mechanical engineer by trade but I just want something new, something where I work with people, in a team, preferably somewhere where it's populated.

I could not think where else to post this but here. If anybody else has experienced this or going through it please post and share some advice with another human being who's time is being wasted sitting around dreaming of the day when things change.

(I have been trying I just don't know who to go to as so far the job centre have been no help at all and as for the social thing I don't mind drinking to moderation but its frowned upon around here)

About Me:

21 year old dude
worked for 5 years
live north west England

Interests:

Guitar, Music, FIlms, Games, Food, Women

I like eating healthy food - have always been like that before all the hype of eating healthily spread around.

I enjoy exercising. I spent most of my free time doing circuits and some gym / weight lifting.

I had a girlfriend for 3 months but broke up with her because she was in love with herself, selfish and I reckon I was just a rebound guy.

Since being unemployed I have gone places with my dog, such as up mountains, to lakes and rivers and tarns.

I love to travel, mainly with someone so I take my dog with me because apart from my parents I can't find anybody else who enjoys and adventure.

I have a motorbike - A Honda hornet 600cc. Currently in my garage as I can't afford insurance or road tax or petrol money to run it but I don't want to sell it.

I own two guitars, a keyboard, a 26" tv, a PC, an xbox360.

I left school and got into a mechanical apprenticeship, after a year I then got taken on by a local company and the progressed onto an advance mechanical apprenticeship. I am now a qualified Mech. Engineer. I got my HNC in Mech. Eng. this year. I got 11 GCSE pass grades (10 C's 1 B)

I'm struggling to actually talk about myself, that's how often I do this....

I like animals. I could never kill an animal, not an ant not even a cockroach or a spider

why that it matters I do not know.

I love comedy, I like humour. I like trying to be creative. I think too much. I observe a lot. I tend to hang around with people who do all the talking whilst I just watch and listen so I more of an introvert but I am not shy once I am comfortable in my surroundings.

I was brought up a Christian but I just follow morals and commen sense mostly. I like the ideas of budism - that's as religious as I'll get.

I'm sort of getting into politics but not in a serious way just more of a whats going on in the world kinda way.

I admit I don't know what to write because I am tired but hopefully theres something above that could help with giving advice.
Last edited by Dean Washburn at Apr 2, 2013,
#2
Kind of related:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1595744


I'll just copy/paste my response:


1. Quantity does not mean shit. If you have an ineffective resume and cover letter (or lack thereof), you can apply 100,000 times. Nothing's gonna happen because....
2. Your application will get filtered out by HR software. They quickly scan thousands of resumes for keywords and info. If you don't have these, or it's formatted in a weird way, it'll never see the light of day.
3. After the software weeds out 95% of applications, an actual human being will be reading these. They do not want to be reading life stories or vague claims (ie organized, good with people, etc). You need to present highly quantifiable, specific skills and experiences.
4. They also appreciate a tailored cover letter for the specific position and why you'd be a good fit. That makes a difference. I'd argue that in most cases, it's mandatory, not an option.

With all that in mind, here are things you can do if you're not getting results/just starting out:
1. volunteer in a position where you can quantify experiences (ie, Lead a team of 10 onsite support members for ______, Engaged with individuals to raise funding; met funding goal of $1500)
2. exploit your friends and their friends for leads. This is not wrong. This is what you should be doing. This is what successful people do. They network.
3. Pristine online presence: LinkedIn, productive blogs/twitter/site/etc. These have to all be perfectly formatted, info filled out, productive activities shown, etc
4. Ask teachers and professional contacts to write letters of recommendations for you.
5. Create your own job doing what you're most passionate about. Extremely useful.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#3
Get a job out of town.

Having friend's should come second to stop leeching off your parents.
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#4
We need details man, you can't be so vague and short to the point. What you need is a bike.
#5
Sell everything you have.

Buy an awesome acoustic.

Buy tickets to a random country of your choice. If it was me i'd pick either Sweden or Australia (I think Australia is strict with who it lets into the country however)

Learn a new language.

Let loose.

See the world.

Have no boundaries.
#6
I have had help with my CV and I always write a covering letter my main issue is that because I don't know what jobs may suit me out there, and all I know is mechanical engineering I haven't really applied for anything but that career. Not to be picky and inflexible but I also don't want to be applying for a job away from town that is low pay and either hard to do or lacks teamwork - I've worked for 5 years and 3 of those years have involved doing work on my own and I don't want to be doing everything on my own consistently like that. - In other words, I don't want a job where I feel isolated for the majority of the time.

I am trying to be flexible now more than ever but some suggestions would help me so much. Bar and waiting staff come and go but I haven't had luck with either. A lot of local jobs require qualifications I don't have and then there are minimum wage jobs that don't promise job security.

I dislike the term leech because I don't leech off my parents because I help out wherever possible I just feel if I don't get on my own two feet I will become a burden to them and I don't want to be that person.
#8
Start a heroin addiction man, best way to met friends. All the heroin addicts I know are very friendly and caring. They make great friends and even share their needles!
you're never as free as when you are lost
#9
TBH man don't worry about the friends right now till you have other shit in gear, I was in a similar situation a while back and I was trying to make new friends but all the other problems I was having were spilling over so the people I was trying to befriend were probably all like whoa this guy is crazy and stopped talking to me.

Getting a proper career will be rough, luckily you have some post-secondary education under your belt you should be able to get into the same field or a similar one easily, but it will take time. I have currently invested just under 7 years into my career, in that time I have pretty much ignored trying to make friends, didn't actively try and hold a relationship, just worked and played my guitar, now I have more senority at work then people that have worked here for twice as long.

Once you feel like your in a good place, you wake up every day happy and ready to kick that days ass, that's when you go and make friends. You will be so confident and positive that people will enjoy being around you, and before you know it you will be making friends left and right. Unless of course you are naturally an introvert then you're ****ed.
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#10
Quite a large portion of my work involves socialising with strangers and on my free days I like to have my alone time. OH THE IRONY!
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


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#12


Best thing I can suggest is find somewhere you can volunteer. It gets you out of the house, you meet others in similar situations, and on a CV it is better than just "X months unemployed" as it at least shows that you have a good work ethic. (And that you are a charitable person, which is only really a bad thing if you're trying to get work for tobacco companies, banks or the government). Depending on what you're doing the job centre (I'm assuming you're on JSA) should be able to cover your transport costs.

Secondly, find a pub, coffee shop, street corner or somewhere that you can play your guitar. If you're looking for like minded musical folks, the best way to do it is to actually be playing music in a public place. Wherever you are, I can guarantee there is somewhere accessible by bus that will run an open mic night or something, so get a day ticket and go find it. If you can't find it, pick a street, put your hat down and play. There's a chance someone might stop and ask "do you play at the local cool rock pub/cool acoustic indie coffee shop/etc", and you can find out where it is from them. Also people will probably put enough money in your hat for your bus fare and a cuppa.
Quote by CV334

Sir, the contents of my mouth just blew all over my keyboard, desk, and part of my monitor. For the record, it was slightly chewed Keebler cookies and coffee slurry.

The average pitmonkey's response to my jokes.
#13
Dude, i absolutely feel you... i'm in almost in the same situation as you...

Lost my job a month ago, i don't go out cause i'm absolutely broke, friends left to study in other countries, my ex is getting married and i'm addicted to marijuana... Down in a hole
If you can read this... you can read!



    Quote by Fat Lard
    I like semen, so what?
    #14
    Quote by Dean Washburn
    I have had help with my CV and I always write a covering letter my main issue is that because I don't know what jobs may suit me out there, and all I know is mechanical engineering I haven't really applied for anything but that career. Not to be picky and inflexible but I also don't want to be applying for a job away from town that is low pay and either hard to do or lacks teamwork - I've worked for 5 years and 3 of those years have involved doing work on my own and I don't want to be doing everything on my own consistently like that. - In other words, I don't want a job where I feel isolated for the majority of the time.

    Are you saying that you've had jobs as a mechanical engineer and were isolated, or were these jobs not related to ME?

    You say you don't want to apply far from home yet there's nothing in the area. It sounds to me like you don't have a choice. You said so yourself, why not go to a busy city, get an apartment and apply to jobs in that area? I'm sure there would be entry level tech jobs where you'll be around people in an urban environment.

    ...modes and scales are still useless.


    Quote by PhoenixGRM
    Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
    Quote by sam b
    Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

    Thanks
    Quote by PhoenixGRM
    But our Band is Listana
    #15
    So many replies - I promise to reply to you all tomorrow. I need sleep. But all great posts so far I'm glad it's not just me.

    I promise to edit my first post so that it's clear and just to quickly answer a fews things I read:

    I want to work away from home I just cannot afford to take a job that doesn't pay enough for me to have adequate accommodation

    My only two jobs have been as a mechanical engineer

    A lot of the jobs available in my field require a minimum of a HNC - I am applying 5 times a week - which doesn't sound like a lot but when most adverts are asking for senior engineers, principal engineers, project engineers, chartered engineers, technicians via agents it is quite difficult to find what I can do.

    Whilst I wait for replies if I can get a job behind a till or a bar I'd do it but so far in town and neighbouring towns I have no luck.

    If weed was free, accessible and legal then it would be here with me now...

    I have been selling all my xbox360 games, I made up to 500 quid - yes that many games, sold lots of stuff I don't need anymore. Stopped selling on eBay coz they charge you too much monthly just to be able to sell.

    I am happy now that I've found a place to speak out and get great responses I really appreciate this so far but right now bedtime.
    #17
    Sell Drugs, that always gets me out.
    Quote by laid-to-waste
    look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
    #19
    You'll be fine. You haven't wasted years and years of your life already, like certain others....

    *uncontrollable sobbing*
    Quote by kertets
    Only losers post their opinions on the internet.
    #21
    Use your mechanical engineering education to start building custom pedals after giving yourself a crash course in electrical circuitry and such, start an eBay pedal business out of your basement and all of your wildest dreams will come true.
    #23
    get a job, liberal scum
    Quote by jrcsgtpeppers

    If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
    #24
    Quote by DeadlyIllness
    You should be like every other douche and play video games on Youtube.

    Yes, because everyone that plays video games on Youtube is a douche
    #25
    Quote by Skullivan
    Yes, because everyone that plays video games on Youtube is a douche


    Most are, to be fair, but I still greatly appreciate their walkthroughs on the hardest difficulties because I just can't figure that shit out
    Quote by kertets
    Only losers post their opinions on the internet.
    #27
    Quote by Tempoe
    If you don't like clubs, don't go. Go somewhere that's fun for you


    Only go to clubs. That is where you go to get some.
    #28
    Quote by Novacane...
    Most are, to be fair, but I still greatly appreciate their walkthroughs on the hardest difficulties because I just can't figure that shit out

    I'll admit most are, but the ones that stand out really make up for all the pre-pubescent CoD "commentators."
    #29
    Oh c'mon dude, your part of he UK doesn't sound dead, it's got karate clubs and a nightclub.
    I say take up karate and then after class, if it's late, around 10 or 11pm, roll up to the club, sober, and ready to pull... Also, go out there, hand in your CV, or sit at home and email it.
    Job search, if you claim job seekers or not, still look for work.

    Move to Croydon.
    Quote by laid-to-waste
    look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
    #30
    You sound just like me. People might tell you to move to a different place. I've done that and I'll tell you what; your problems seem to follow you around until you overcome them.
    Step 1- Find a job to keep yourself occupied (and the obvious reason: make some money)
    Step 2- Wait and see what happens from there. Very few people have things figured out after step 1 (since you've already gone to school). Life is very mysterious like that. Sometimes it boils down to a "Right place, right time" kind of situation. The pieces of the puzzle will fall in place. But you need to prepare a place for those pieces to fall or else they will fall into oblivion.

    Edit: Patience, patience, PATIENCE! Also, remember- insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
    Last edited by Dimarzio45 at Apr 2, 2013,
    #31
    I say don't be afraid to go outside, do't be so lazy as to waste your youth and rarely does anything get handed to you. So get up and go out there. It's not really that far, to go to town centres and such places, is it? @ Thread Starter.
    Quote by laid-to-waste
    look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
    Last edited by treborillusion at Apr 2, 2013,
    #32
    Quote by Skullivan
    I'll admit most are, but the ones that stand out really make up for all the pre-pubescent CoD "commentators."


    Yeah, of course. There are some pretty entertaining people that do game-related YouTube vids and I do watch some of the SC2 live streams sometimes which are pretty useful. It's just, you know people who spent most of their time playing games alone in their room and now have an audience. Some get a little carried away I guess...
    Quote by kertets
    Only losers post their opinions on the internet.
    #33
    Hey- I understand you're located in the UK, but I'm in the US and am experiencing some of the same issues you are. I'm 23 and graduated with a B.S. in Psychology from a state University in the mid-west about 10 months ago. Originally I wanted to go on to get a master's in school counseling but after learning how expensive schooling was combined with the grim job market, I decided it wasn't a good decision at this time in my life. In the last 10 months I've had a few jobs- a bartender, auto body worker, substitute teacher, and currently a factory line worker at a local popcorn manufacturer- a job that I seriously dislike. Here's what gets me through the days:

    Number one- Remember that this isn't forever. Yeah, your situation currently isn't the best. But you're not alone. You won't be unemployed and living at home forever. Which brings me to my next point:

    Number two- The only limiter to your success is yourself. For real- even in today's cut throat economy I think this is true. For every motivated, hard-worker in existence, it seems there is 3 or 4 lazy leeches (at least in my town). Don't be a leech. Be steadfast, set a goal, work hard at your goal and you'll at least have a better chance of successfully changing yourself rather than doing nothing.

    Number three- Don't be afraid to ask for a little help. Here's what I mean- Via your post, you sound like a genuinely nice, hard working fellow. Genuinely nice people usually have people that care about them. Do you have friends or family that live in a higher populated area where jobs might be more prominent? If so, call them up and arrange a way for you to stay with them until you get on your feet. It might sound like you're asking for too much, but they may be understanding. Sometimes a change in environment is motivation in itself.

    Number four- Network your balls off. This is probably the most important one of all. It's an old adage you hear all the damn time- "It's all about who you know- or blow". And it's never been more true now. Remember those 4 jobs I've worked the last 10 months? Bartending? My buddy's dad was the manager. Car shop? My buddy's step dad owned the shop. Substitute teaching was all me, although my alma mater called me a bunch because they knew my name. The popcorn factory? I've known the owner for years because he went to my church as a kid. I live in a town of 800 people with 1 gas station and 1 cop. If I can find 4 jobs that pay me in a year anyone can do it!

    Sorry about the wall of text. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone here! I've been looking for an opportunity to start a rewarding career since graduation last year and it hasn't happened yet. Some things take time to figure out- especially something this big. Starting a new job, relocating, making new friends, etc. is stressful as **** (to me, at least) but it's something many of us have to do to make our lives better. When I graduated I was oblivious as shit, man. I've learned more about life and myself in the last 10 months than ever before. Hope some of your time is a bit self reflective. Good luck man. Don't give up!
    #35
    Quote by TunerAddict
    get a job, liberal scum


    Quote by CV334

    Sir, the contents of my mouth just blew all over my keyboard, desk, and part of my monitor. For the record, it was slightly chewed Keebler cookies and coffee slurry.

    The average pitmonkey's response to my jokes.
    #37
    Quote by ne14t
    TBH man don't worry about the friends right now till you have other shit in gear....


    For years I was doomed to be an introvert but then once my brother left the house and I could finally talk to my parents without him steeling my spotlight I am more awake and extroverted than ever. Though I am used to my own company I am tired of hearing my inner voice. Thanks for your advice it makes sense and I find it very helpful.

    Quote by Crofty89
    I feel you bro


    *Hugs Back* Thanks man. I tried going to our local civic hall but they're closing down and since 2008 all rock bands have been banned from performing anytime after 7pm due to noise disturbances so basically not worth volunteering there. I am looking for volunteer work though whilst I bitch and moan on here. Thanks for your feedback I appreciate it.


    Quote by katalyzt13
    start an eBay pedal business out of your basement and all of your wildest dreams will come true.


    Man you have no idea how many business ideas I've thought about doing. Getting inspiration from Dragons Den also haha but when it comes to making and selling musical instruments or accessories / parts all I need to do is look at local music stores and see how difficult it is for them to sell stuff and they have there own website too.

    Quote by DeadlyIllness
    You should be like every other douche and play video games on Youtube.


    I want out of my room and I want a life not the complete opposite. Yeah I may be a gamer and a good one at that but I can not be on with doing stuff like that it's just more time wasted that could be spent shagging.

    Quote by TunerAddict
    get a job, liberal scum


    Oh yeah that's the advice I was after, not like I've not mentioned a few times how ****ing hard it is for me to get a job but yeah this is what I needed to be told. thanks man my life is complete [/sarcasm] Your a dick go shaft yourself.

    Quote by Tempoe
    If you don't like clubs, don't go. Go somewhere that's fun for you


    I don't mind clubs so long as they involve something I find interesting but anything I find interesting is miles away and I need money to go to those fun places.

    Quote by treborillusion
    Oh c'mon dude, your part of he UK doesn't sound dead
    Dude it is so dead that even zombies don't come here. I have tried Karate it sucks balls and I tried Ju Jitsu but they were basically training people for UFC which I like but not the type who wants to be in it. So I stopped going there especially when this autistic lad kept knee me in the balls every time I had to grapple with him.

    Quote by Dimarzio45
    People might tell you to move to a different place. I've done that and I'll tell you what; your problems seem to follow you around until you overcome them.


    That scares me because that's certainly a fear I'm willing to admit. But I feel confident that in a different area I'll feel much more free and not afraid to do things.

    My beef with people in my local area is I know a lot because I mixed with everyone during school and the best of them have gone to uni who I no longer speak to coz they made new friends and the rest either have their own lives to live or the remaining dozens are spiteful towards me because they're out on the streets kicked out by their parents whilst I've managed to hold a job for a few years, get some money and still have a home and bedroom to stay in. To put it bluntly I feel I am hated in this town simply because I have saved my money and spent it on useful things than spend it on drink and drugs and I don't mean to sound snobby because I am not I just have been brought up to know how to organise finances and people seem to dislike me for it.


    Quote by zucky22389
    Number four- Network your balls off

    I find this really hard to do. I can talk, I can type, I can communicate but when it comes to asking people for favours, apart from family and my two close friends nobody wants to know so that's another reason why I want out of this damn town, better still the county[State].


    Quote by Hellomain
    Wanna start a band?

    How local are you? And what instruments you consider yourself good at?


    Thanks to everyone else who has posted, I don't mean to be a prick by not replying to you I just can't think of anything additional to say other than thankyou.

    I do need a girlfriend, my mate keeps badgering me to sign up on PoF and Match.com but I don't believe in that stuff. I'd rather go the old traditional method that is getting blindingly drunk and hope for the best...

    I am aiming for a band but prefer a buddy to help me improve mostly. But again Job is a priority.
    #39
    "I want out of my room and I want a life not the complete opposite. Yeah I may be a gamer and a good one at that but I can not be on with doing stuff like that it's just more time wasted that could be spent shagging."

    Right but you need something to do when you're not shagging.
    #40
    Quote by metaldud536
    "I want out of my room and I want a life not the complete opposite. Yeah I may be a gamer and a good one at that but I can not be on with doing stuff like that it's just more time wasted that could be spent shagging."

    Right but you need something to do when you're not shagging.


    Tou Chai

    Quote by Wesbanez
    Do you by chance live in Whitehaven?


    Dafuq??
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