Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#1
I guess I'm back and to be pretty honest I'm pretty happy with this song but I'm not shure if it's any good. The ending is ridiculous I know but I love it so yeah
C4C is appliable here, hope you enjoy.
Attachments:
newshit.gp5
newshit.gp4
newshit.mid
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
Join date: Oct 2007
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#2
Out of interest do you actually ever do anything with any of this crazy crap you write?
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
Ometh
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Join date: Oct 2009
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#3
Quote by ChemicalFire
Out of interest do you actually ever do anything with any of this crazy crap you write?

No lol. And is that a compliment or an insult?
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
Join date: Oct 2007
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#4
A little of both xD

Personally I don't dig your over technical, purposely all over the place style of writting, I find it pretty boring. But that's just me.

I was wondering if you had anything more "real" (as in not guitarpro) because it'd probably be more interesting to me that listening to the midi version.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
Ometh
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Join date: Oct 2009
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#5
Quote by ChemicalFire
A little of both xD

Personally I don't dig your over technical, purposely all over the place style of writting, I find it pretty boring. But that's just me.

I was wondering if you had anything more "real" (as in not guitarpro) because it'd probably be more interesting to me that listening to the midi version.

Yeah I get that, that's cool by me. Everyone has their taste and it should be respected. And I also agree with you, MIDI does not make it justice. This was a result of me jamming a bit when bored, so I know how it sounds IRL and not just in MIDI, which is something I should do more often I guess. I could try to record it but my uncle is on vacation right now and we hang out all day and I need to format my computer so it'll take a while. I also want to have it down completely before recording because recording it riff by riff feels pretty fake and it's tedious as hell.
Also, I'd apreciate if you gave a constructive crit, even though you don't like it: crits are always good. And I could crit back if you want too.

EDIT: And while maybe this song and my most recent ones might feel tech-y, I'm not at all a technical player, I'm pretty shitty tbh lol.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Apr 4, 2013,
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
Join date: Oct 2007
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#6
Okay:

Bars 1 - 8

Works pretty well as intro, I actually quite like it, however...

Bars 9 - 26

...the next riff has next to nothing to do with the intro. Surely the intro... well introduces, it shows elements of what is to come, sets out the tone. What happens here is it introduces quite an interesting mathcore riff and then goes into way too many bars of pretty monotonous OSDM chugging. This is an example of something that needs to be properly recorded with vocals and something which seems to bare no relation to what came before. It may be sporadic but it just sounds like a riff salad.

I mean bars 9 - 12 basically reintroduce the song anyway which makes me question the point of what came before it.

Bars 27 - 34

Works fine, there is some semblance of continuity from the riff before it, but I'm not a fan of the note runs, it seems pretty pointless (to me) from a musical standpoint, but I get it's part of the sound you're going for.

Bars 35 - 36

I like the riff, but it just seems kinda out of place here. Why is it between these two riffs? When honestly the flow would be better between the slam and the riff starting at bar 37. Placing this riff seems to un-necessarily break the flow. I even tried removing this part and listening to the transition again, worked much better imo.

Bars 37 - 46

The riff doesn't do much for me on it's own, but the build up you do is pretty cool. One thing I will say is you seem to be falling into a trap of doing a bar of one main "theme" and then just adding different riffs in between them. It seems to have occurred in most of the riffs thus far. I'm assuming the point is DEP style sporadisism but the formularity of the riffs kinda cements the idea of separation in my head. Making it more seem like a bunch of riffs put together with little thought to transition, than a song.

Bars 47 - 59

I like this, this part is good, I like the shuffling sludgy heaviness of it... just not in the context of the rest of the piece; yet again you've got a re-introductory sound going on at the beginning. The song re-introduces itself 3 times.

As I've already said I'm not a fan of how you write music already, that is not to say that I don't like sporadic music, I'm a big fan of bands like Dillinger but I never find that I lose the flow of their music. They go all over the place without it being so jarring that I get whiplash.

All the parts you've written in the song are pretty good. But whilst you're thread title claims the piece is "Grindcore/Mathcore/Brutal Death Metal" I'd argue that it's not one peice that encompasses all 3 of those styles. But several pieces that you've just strung together. If you could work on transitioning between riffs (which honestly to me is the hardest part of song writing) then it could work on a far greater level.

And I've not got anything to comment as of yet. One GP file finished but I think I want to sit on it a little longer before putting it up for comment.

Edit: Though honestly the track does seem to grow on me a little the more I listen to it. But I feel my criticism still stands.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
Last edited by ChemicalFire at Apr 4, 2013,
Ometh
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Join date: Oct 2009
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#7
Hmm, thanks for the crit but I'm not shure what to do lol. I mean I like the song as it is right now, but I can agree on some of the points you mentioned, specially the repeating riffs and all. I think I'm gonna leave it as it is since it's pretty fresh for now, and try to work a bit on it later, maybe next week or so. If that makes any sense lol.

Quote by ChemicalFire
Edit: Though honestly the track does seem to grow on me a little the more I listen to it. But I feel my criticism still stands.

That's interesting. Same thing happens to me when I listen to cray music: I like it more when I know what's going on. But of course I'm talking about stuff like Converge and Discordance Axis and my music is nowhere near that level.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Apr 4, 2013,
Ometh
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#9
Quote by ramorite
I like a song actually goes somewhere

Nice crit you got there buddy
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
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#11
You know, this actually seems less like all over the place ****aroundery and it definitely sounds a lot less dissonant to me than a lot of the stuff you write which is a nice change

I actually don't think the part after the intro doesn't fit in (double negative - meaning I think it fits in, I don't want to rewrite my sentence, man), the transition seems very natural to me, the whole "let's take a quick break before we slam this table in your face" thing works very well - HOWEVER!

The crash cymbals in bar 12 makes more sense if you change them in to chinese cymbals/chinas/52 whatever, because it makes the next part fak u up even more!
Give it a try, I'm sure you'll agree and even if you don't, that's fine, it was just a suggestion, dude

The rest - is fine and dandy! And daddy!

Now, I want a ten word essay about the song _a P-HxC parts (new song).gp5 for C4C!
Ometh
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#12
Quote by ramorite
i dont think it goes anywhere though


but the tuning is funky

I also like it alot lol. I never managed to write a full song with it until now.
And none of my songs go anywhere if you think about it lol, my song structuring skills are practically non existant lol. Unless it's post rockish stuff with 150 bars crescendos and stuff like that. It's fun dumb music to play basically lol: if I amused you I acomplished what I wanted, if I didn't I did not, so yeah lol. I'm off to take a crap: I'll crit you song tomorrow Erra93.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
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#13
Quote by Ometh
I also like it alot lol. I never managed to write a full song with it until now.
And none of my songs go anywhere if you think about it lol, my song structuring skills are practically non existant lol. Unless it's post rockish stuff with 150 bars crescendos and stuff like that. It's fun dumb music to play basically lol: if I amused you I acomplished what I wanted, if I didn't I did not, so yeah lol. I'm off to take a crap: I'll crit you song tomorrow Erra93.


What the hell?
You didn't even crit my crit, man! You crit this ungrateful 'ramorite' guy's crit, but not mine? All those words for him? "I'm off to take a crap: I'll crit you song tomorrow Erra93." for me? Oh god


I feel so unwanted
Last edited by Erra93 at Apr 4, 2013,
Ometh
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Join date: Oct 2009
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#14
Quote by Erra93
What the hell?
You didn't even crit my crit, man! You crit this ungrateful 'ramorite' guy's crit, but not mine? All those words for him? "I'm off to take a crap: I'll crit you song tomorrow Erra93." for me? Oh god


I feel so unwanted

I'll crit your crit if you crit my crit of his crit
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
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#15
Quote by Ometh
I also like it alot lol. I never managed to write a full song with it until now.
And none of my songs go anywhere if you think about it lol, my song structuring skills are practically non existant lol. Unless it's post rockish stuff with 150 bars crescendos and stuff like that. It's fun dumb music to play basically lol: if I amused you I acomplished what I wanted, if I didn't I did not, so yeah lol. I'm off to take a crap: I'll crit you song tomorrow Erra93.


I feel it's a very good comment seeing as Ometh here chooses to not only say that he likes the tuning, but also why - because he is proud of the accomplishment that is this song, newshit.

Other than that, it also explains why he writes the stuff that he writes and how all he wants is for us to be amused, and I think we can all agree that we were very well amused, weren't we? Good job, Ometh!

I didn't much care for the whole "off to take a crap" part, because it seemed irrelevant and quite frankly.. unnecessary.

All in all - I think it's a great crit of ramorite's crit.
Ometh
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Join date: Oct 2009
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#16
Omg that cracked.me up lol. Dunno if its because im drunk right now (totally lol) but that as AWESOME.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
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#17
Quote by Ometh
Omg that cracked.me up lol. Dunno if its because im drunk right now (totally lol) but that as AWESOME.


Hahaha, I'm guessing it had something to do with the inebriation, yeah
I was a tad bit drunk when I wrote it as well
Last edited by Erra93 at Apr 4, 2013,
Ometh
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#19
Quote by Drapte
Bar 45 onward is ****ing perfect

What about the stuff before it?
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
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#21
Quote by Dregen
don't see the flow problems everyone's talking about. this was pretty alright.


One person is not everyone, you know.. There are a few more than one person on this sub-forum alone
Dregen
-
Join date: Dec 2007
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#22
Quote by Erra93
One person is not everyone, you know.. There are a few more than one person on this sub-forum alone


putting words in my mouth... i was just saying my opinion, not trashing others on theirs.
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
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#23
Quote by Dregen
putting words in my mouth... i was just saying my opinion, not trashing others on theirs.

Hey break it up guise

Can we all just hug and be friends forever?
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.