#1
usually i would never put my personal stuff out there like this, but i just dont know who else to talk to about this maybe someone here can just shed some light - maybe i just need to vent. anyhow, here goes


im 27. i have been with probably 20 girls sexually, and ive had probably 4 serious relationships. the last one was 7 years from the time i was 18-25. for the last year i have been with my current girlfriend.

when i met her i was absolutely taken. she was the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing, deep, intriguing and adventerous person i had ever met. she was exactly what i was looking for. she had many flaws (as we all do) and was very open at the start about them. even with these flaws i was absolutely in love with this woman. i felt i had finally found the right person (for this time in my life anyhow) and all the years of horrible relationships would be over, even just for a short time, as i felt i had finaly found someone who i completely connected with. Now this flaw i mentioned was the fact that this girl drinks. She isnt 'pysically dependant' and she isnt a full blown alcoholic, (she doesnt get loaded first thing in the morning, she just drinks more than you or me would, and when she does she drinks MORE than you or me would. She also has typical alcoholic attitudes towards alcohol and her problem with it.. she also HAS had dui's and her father is a DAILY drinker. (they are german lol) so you could say she is on a path to alcoholism and admits it.

Now knowing all this, (hey nobody is perfect, and i myself had a very bad tobbaco addiction at the time), the months passed we were happy as could be. eventually we started partying together. I, after just having gotten out of a 7 year relationship, was just finishing up my 'rebellious binge party single phase' as i met my current girlfriend.

Now when i drink or do drugs, i try to be VERY responsible and respect my body as MUCH as i possibly can while doing so! It is very important to me in being able to have fun, and not let substances or lifestyles get the best of me. So as i was saying, me and my girlfriend began to party together and at the time i was doing cocaine here and there and eventually she joined in. This wasnt a very long time period, maybe amonth or two (as i was saying - i was just in the processs of 'finishing up' my partying days. Well as i tapered off, she started doing more.

So for the last couple months, i have not been doing it. She has and the bad thing, is she has lied to me about it and i have caught her a few times. We have gotten in many fights about it and it has basically destroyed the relationship. Some days she will say she wants me to 'not let her' do it, and other days she tells me to 'stop telling her what to do' anyhow, we got in a big fight a few weeks ago, and it was mostly having to do with the alcohol. ive have given her many chances already and told her i would do whatever i could to help her out. since that fight she hasnt had a drink, and is REALLY trying and doing VERY well with it, and the same with the coke, but last night she had friends over drinking and i was so proud of her she didnt have a single drop of booze, but she had blow. Now i have told her to make her own decisions, im sick of having to be the bad guy and be Mr. NO, so bviously she did it - and i joined in. i havent done it in a LONG time (mostly because im trying to be strong for her, and i dont wanna be a hypocrite. plus i figured if i could show her how to live a normal healthy life she would see it as an example).

anyhow, again i caught her lying to me about how much they had, and who bought it, and all that shit. It really bugs me because i DONT mind either of us doing it - AS LONG AS WE ARE RESPONSIBLE and DONT LIE ABOUT IT. it reallllly bugs me that i cant party with my girlfriend anymore because of the 'web of lies' that has formed.


i understand that she has been doing VERY well lately, and she wanted to reward herself and have a fun night with her friends

so we get in a huge fight this morning, and she calls me a hypocrite and says im judging her and all this stuff. obviously im very dissapointed in her that she does it, but ****, if u cant beat em, join em right? im not gnna sit in our TINY apartment with her and her friends when they are doing it and NOT have any. i also KNOW if i let her go do it with her friends without me, its gonna get outta control again.

i seriously feel like a fool for letting someone lie to me so much, and taking them back, but i keep telling myself its the drugs and booze,not her. i dunno. i seriously love this girl more than aything in the world though and if it werent for this, i would PROBABLY marry her (in the future if things were good and we both wanted it)


any advice?? what would u do. i feel like im letting her manipulate me and walk all over me cuz she knows i wont leave, even tho i want to so bad just to stick up for myself....


thanks so much for any advice/ reading my rambling...
#2
Bitch slap her so she doesn't step out of line again.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#3
i forgot to mention, shes got a major in psychology, wants to be an addictions councelor and works with at risk youth. ironic eh?!

she is also ****ING AMAZING in bed (down for anything lol), GORGEOUS ( im talkin a 10 - blonde, big boobs, drop dead gorgeous), and shes the coolest chick ever. usually lol.

and an AMAZING person and supporter. she is SUCH a huge inspiration and muse for my music and she supports it more than anyoine ive ever met.
#4
I am not going to read all of that until someone with a sense of humor posts a couple laughy faces affirming that your misfortune is amusing.
#5
I think you should have been more firm about it in the first place. You're going back and forth a lot on it so she will continue to do so too.
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BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#8
I think you should just do it. One time won't make you "gay" and it'll make her happy. But lube yourself up first or it might tear or something.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#11
That's a lot of words, bro. I don't like a lot of words.

Anyways, Can we get a can we get a up in this can we get a?
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Apr 6, 2013,
#12
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
I think you should have been more firm about it in the first place. You're going back and forth a lot on it so she will continue to do so too.



lol thanks for a serious answer. and yes it is quite long and rambley
#14
We get can a up In this tl;dr bitch?
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
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#15






Didn't read
For how can I give the King his place of worth above all else
when I spend my time striving to place the crown upon myself?
#18
You sound a little lost. You just got out of a 7 year relationship and you're already very into this new girl. It all just sounds kind of messy, and drugs and alcohol have never done much good for any relationship.

Lying doesn't seem to be something you should tolerate, especially if she's lied more than once and ESPECIALLY if it's about drugs.

As far as her calling you a hypocrite, I wouldn't completely disagree. You have to stand hard by your principles. Why should she care if you don't want her to do drugs when you're just gonna buckle and do them to0?

Ultimately, I'd say quit doing EVERY substance, and tell her you are, and if she doesn't want to quit with you and keeps using and lying, give her an ultimatum.

Also, thinking of marriage amid all these problems seems like a very, very bad idea. Try your best to not put her on such a high pedestal. She's ****ing up and ****ing you over right now, realize that and remember that you deserve better than that.

Hope this helps.
It's a process, not an event.
Last edited by Do Re Mi at Apr 6, 2013,
#20
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
You're christian and therefore not reputable.


Bro, I'll wreck you. I'ma get my Christian homeboys n we be at yo house tonight. Betta sleep with one eye open.
For how can I give the King his place of worth above all else
when I spend my time striving to place the crown upon myself?
#21
Quote by legion69
usually i would never put my personal stuff out there like this, but i just dont know who else to talk to about this maybe someone here can just shed some light - maybe i just need to vent. anyhow, here goes


im 27. i have been with probably 20 girls sexually, and ive had probably 4 serious relationships. the last one was 7 years from the time i was 18-25. for the last year i have been with my current girlfriend.

when i met her i was absolutely taken. she was the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing, deep, intriguing and adventerous person i had ever met. she was exactly what i was looking for. she had many flaws (as we all do) and was very open at the start about them. even with these flaws i was absolutely in love with this woman. i felt i had finally found the right person (for this time in my life anyhow) and all the years of horrible relationships would be over, even just for a short time, as i felt i had finaly found someone who i completely connected with. Now this flaw i mentioned was the fact that this girl drinks. She isnt 'pysically dependant' and she isnt a full blown alcoholic, (she doesnt get loaded first thing in the morning, she just drinks more than you or me would, and when she does she drinks MORE than you or me would. She also has typical alcoholic attitudes towards alcohol and her problem with it.. she also HAS had dui's and her father is a DAILY drinker. (they are german lol) so you could say she is on a path to alcoholism and admits it.

Now knowing all this, (hey nobody is perfect, and i myself had a very bad tobbaco addiction at the time), the months passed we were happy as could be. eventually we started partying together. I, after just having gotten out of a 7 year relationship, was just finishing up my 'rebellious binge party single phase' as i met my current girlfriend.

Now when i drink or do drugs, i try to be VERY responsible and respect my body as MUCH as i possibly can while doing so! It is very important to me in being able to have fun, and not let substances or lifestyles get the best of me. So as i was saying, me and my girlfriend began to party together and at the time i was doing cocaine here and there and eventually she joined in. This wasnt a very long time period, maybe amonth or two (as i was saying - i was just in the processs of 'finishing up' my partying days. Well as i tapered off, she started doing more.

So for the last couple months, i have not been doing it. She has and the bad thing, is she has lied to me about it and i have caught her a few times. We have gotten in many fights about it and it has basically destroyed the relationship. Some days she will say she wants me to 'not let her' do it, and other days she tells me to 'stop telling her what to do' anyhow, we got in a big fight a few weeks ago, and it was mostly having to do with the alcohol. ive have given her many chances already and told her i would do whatever i could to help her out. since that fight she hasnt had a drink, and is REALLY trying and doing VERY well with it, and the same with the coke, but last night she had friends over drinking and i was so proud of her she didnt have a single drop of booze, but she had blow. Now i have told her to make her own decisions, im sick of having to be the bad guy and be Mr. NO, so bviously she did it - and i joined in. i havent done it in a LONG time (mostly because im trying to be strong for her, and i dont wanna be a hypocrite. plus i figured if i could show her how to live a normal healthy life she would see it as an example).

anyhow, again i caught her lying to me about how much they had, and who bought it, and all that shit. It really bugs me because i DONT mind either of us doing it - AS LONG AS WE ARE RESPONSIBLE and DONT LIE ABOUT IT. it reallllly bugs me that i cant party with my girlfriend anymore because of the 'web of lies' that has formed.


i understand that she has been doing VERY well lately, and she wanted to reward herself and have a fun night with her friends

so we get in a huge fight this morning, and she calls me a hypocrite and says im judging her and all this stuff. obviously im very dissapointed in her that she does it, but ****, if u cant beat em, join em right? im not gnna sit in our TINY apartment with her and her friends when they are doing it and NOT have any. i also KNOW if i let her go do it with her friends without me, its gonna get outta control again.

i seriously feel like a fool for letting someone lie to me so much, and taking them back, but i keep telling myself its the drugs and booze,not her. i dunno. i seriously love this girl more than aything in the world though and if it werent for this, i would PROBABLY marry her (in the future if things were good and we both wanted it)


any advice?? what would u do. i feel like im letting her manipulate me and walk all over me cuz she knows i wont leave, even tho i want to so bad just to stick up for myself....


thanks so much for any advice/ reading my rambling...






Last edited by Philip_pepper at Apr 6, 2013,
#22
Quote by ErikLensherr
I think you should just do it. One time won't make you "gay" and it'll make her happy. But lube yourself up first or it might tear or something.

“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#23
This is my advice TS: This girl obviously isn't for you if you can't handle her going out and drinking at parties. You're 14. That's what kids your age do. But if it is really too much for you, break up with her. I know it hurts losing your first girlfriend. The three weeks you were going out with her may seem like a lifetime, but your life isn't over. You've still got a few more years of high school to find another girl that would actually go out with you. It might happen eventually. Just give it time.

Quote by Rawshik
Bro, I'll wreck you. I'ma get my Christian homeboys n we be at yo house tonight. Betta sleep with one eye open.


What are you going to do to him? He's not a 7 year old boy.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Apr 6, 2013,
#25
Congratulations! You're dating an addict!
Quote by synestershadows
Shai Hulud mother****er.
#26
lol drug addicts

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#27
I have this really cute miniskirt that I got from a friend and the girl she is engaged with used to be a drug addict. She looks perfectly normal but she's been to prison and everything.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#28
I'd like to make something clear - a perfect 10/10 does not exist especially if they're an addict.

You need to get yourself completely straight if you want her to do so too.

And to me it sounds like substances play much too big a part in both of your lives.
Silverburst
#30
Next time you ****, stick it in her ass and tell her "That's what it feels like when you lie to me "

Anti-pit answer: She sounds like she may need an intervention and rehab. You're not going to change this alone and you shouldn't expect her to put her love for you first, not if she's getting into heavier drugs.
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Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

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once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#31
Quote by Do Re Mi
You sound a little lost. You just got out of a 7 year relationship and you're already very into this new girl. It all just sounds kind of messy, and drugs and alcohol have never done much good for any relationship.

Lying doesn't seem to be something you should tolerate, especially if she's lied more than once and ESPECIALLY if it's about drugs.

As far as her calling you a hypocrite, I wouldn't completely disagree. You have to stand hard by your principles. Why should she care if you don't want her to do drugs when you're just gonna buckle and do them to0?

Ultimately, I'd say quit doing EVERY substance, and tell her you are, and if she doesn't want to quit with you and keeps using and lying, give her an ultimatum.

Also, thinking of marriage amid all these problems seems like a very, very bad idea. Try your best to not put her on such a high pedestal. She's ****ing up and ****ing you over right now, realize that and remember that you deserve better than that.

Hope this helps.



thanks. and for the record no marriage 'talk' im jsut saying, in 27 years on this planet she most closely resembles what im looking for in someone, more-so than anyone ive met before....

i understand what your saying.

as far as the hypocrite thing. i would LOVE to do blow on special occasions. i really enjoy alcohol and drugs in a RESPONSIBLE, SOCIAL, non-destructive way.
it really bugs me that i steer clear of the stuff to prove to her, a.) i am not a hypocrite, and b.) im trying to support her. it bugs me that i cant enjoy something that i have NO addiction problems with, but she can have all the fn she wants and IIIIII get called the hypocrite?!?!