sorry if it's the wrong spot, mods can move/delete this if it is.

Anyway, I'm trying to get a band going that has sort of a shoegazer/post punk sound to it (I have a few rough outlines of songs that I'm working on, and those are the genres that I'm reminded of) and I'm having trouble meeting people.

I've tried bandmix, craigslist, and two others that I can't remember the name of, but nobody is interested or they want to super takeover and turn it into something else. One guy even had the gall to say that we should play a post-core act. I don't hate that music or anything...but blech. Other people that have messaged me are in their 40s. Which isn't a problem, but I would rather play with people around my own age/experience rather than aficionados that have been playing or even gigging for longer than I've been alive.

What do I do? I would go to local gigs and shows, but I figuratively don't know anybody. The only person I know is friends with my sister and he won't invite me to any of those things via facebook so I'm not welcome.

It's quite depressing, really.
Get your songs done and make them sound mint, worked for me. People will flock to you if you have the songs, most bands around don't have good tunes. If you do, you'll find the band to play them.
^^^ That's good advice there. If you record your songs people will actually know what sound you're going for. I personally wouldn't know what stoner rock was (unless its the dandy warhols). It could be possible that youre not even playing stoner rock. Or you could be like me, who sees "stoner rock" and a list of bands Ive never heard of in the description and I pass because I have no idea what the ad wants, its just really specific about it.

On that note those ads with the genres and the band names, I usually envisage the poster as someone as a really closed mind as to what sound they want, and are pretty controlling as a result. So basically I ignore them.

I also think there may be issues with the ad you've put up seeking bandmates. Can I see it?

As for the mate of your sister, why not ask him in person if he'll hang with you. Waiting for an FB invite is pretty lame.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
I can second that, when I was looking to join a band a few years ago, I wasn't really bothered by what genre it was, but people listing genres and bands was an instant turn off. If you're open to working with your potential band to get a different sound then you had perhaps envisaged, it will be a lot easier to find bandmates.

On the other hand, when I started writing songs I was doing full arrangements and had a definitive sound to the songs already. I recorded demos with drum and bass parts already fleshed out even though I'm a guitarist/singer, I made it very clear to any potential bandmates that I had complete creative control.

You need to make that clear from the very start, otherwise you'll inevitably have problems down the line when somebody wants to change something.

It's also worth noting that most bands go through line-up changes. The first line-up doesn't have to be the final one, so don't waver somebody off for a petty reason as you're miles off a record contract. Having a fat bass player isn't going to hurt you (and yes you can still get signed to a label with a big guy in the band). Work with what you can get.

You'll find it a lot easier to find band members if the people in your town can actually hear your music... so:

- Record some demos, put em up on your FaceBook, Twitter or any other social sites. Some of your old mates who you don't talk to anymore might be that elusive bass player!
- Get your friends on the look-out. I found my bassist when a bloke I know from the pub rang me during a lecture at college.
- Play some acoustic open mic nights. Get out there!
- Go to gigs of bands whose sound you like. Don't be a pussy, ask your sister's mate to go on the piss at a show.
- Put some proper informative ads up
Any ad which comes up with a specific genre is a turn off for me too, the thought that before we've even met what I get to do is so limited just isn't very attractive.

The chance of you meeting up with other people your own age, who live near you, who like exactly the same music as you, who play the right instruments and who you get on with is incredibly small. Inevitably you will have to compromise so you need to re-evaluate and think about what compromises you would want to make.

It's time to think what you want to be as a musician, are you open to new experiences and ways of playing or is it your way or no way? For me the glory of a band is that you get a group of people together with all sorts of different skills, interests and ideas and after a while the sum is greater than the parts, something new comes out of the creative tension.

I don't suppose there are many musicians out there who don't want a say in what they play, so how about you? Do you want to be in a band , one voice in many? It can be a joy working with other musicians but it can also be really frustrating, are you ready for that?

Nothing wrong with wanting to be a sole voice of course. If writing your own stuff is the burning drive then go for it but you are probably going to work alone a lot. You could be lucky but I think you have some choices to make.
Last edited by Phil Starr at Apr 10, 2013,