I realize that synths are often frowned upon on UG, but I've been working with this girl trying to write pop-rock (not my forte) for a while.
Here goes.
I know the singer gets out of time and the fact that we pitch corrected her a few times really shows through, but given that we're re-doing vocals for it anyway, I'm more concerned about overall mix. To me, I feel like everything (guitars especially) lacks punch and clarity or are just too quiet, cymbals are up too loud, bass and snare get drowned in the mix, and vocals sound really sub-par. I can't put my finger on why - the first word that comes to mind is 'distant'.
Drums programmed in with NI Studio Drummer, synths with Cubase's HALion plugin, guitar was recorded and run through Guitar Rig 5 - I have their Citrus and MESA rips playing rhythm panned 85% each side, and a lead guitar with delay and phase running through a MESA panned 30 right. Bass is done through Guitar Rig 5's only bass amp. Vocals were done through a shure SM57 (I know, I know, don't kill me, we have an extremely limited budget) and run through a few effects - we duplicated the track and panned each 30% each side - one (left, I think) has a bit of reverb, the other is dry but for some EQ and a compressor. The mix is moderately compressed.
What's wrong with it and how do I fix it?
Whilst we're here, is the song alright?
Drums need to sound bigger, like WAY bigger. Snare needs a lot more crack (Think Blink 182ish). The Vocals have way too much processing on them &, in my opinion, they need to sound more angry/whiney. Its a good start but tweaking the drums & vocals will take this song from good to great.
Derpy Derp Derp Herp Derp
You're right on all accounts, but how to do it? Is it EQ or volume or reverb or a different sample entirely? The bass drum is EQ'd the best I could get it, but it still feels totally lost in the mix when everything kicks in - same with snare. I feel like it needs a mid boost, but then it gets buried under the synths and guitars.
And as for vocals - again, yes, I agree, but how? Compression, EQing...? I'm new to all this, relatively.
The vocal take has no conviction or emotion. Also the reverb is wrong on the vocals, and theres to much.

Try parallel compression on the drums to give them more RMS, tthey'll punch RIGHT through.
I think the song is cool.

Cept i don't believe the singer cares about the lyrics. It's like shes singing coz she wants to... Y'know what i mean?
Quote by jaybrink101
And as for vocals - again, yes, I agree, but how? Compression, EQing...? I'm new to all this, relatively.

she has to sing like it.
I do, I'll get her in to do another take as soon as. I agree, I think she needs to sell it more.
How do you suggest I fix the vocals production-wise? Less reverb, but EQ or other effects?
I think the vocals are too loud. They're sitting on top of the mix. The reverb also sounds super artificial and weird; ideally the processing on a lead vocals shouldn't sound like an effect unless that's what you're trying to do. Snare and kick can be louder, bass should be a bit more audible and I'd pan the guitars hard instead of 85% just to open the center more for the vocals. Synths and guitars are clashing, I'd turn the synths down and try to sit them back a bit more with some reverb or a lower low pass.

I'd love to do a mix of this song if y'all are about that.
Let's party.
Compression couldn't hurt and neither could eq. TThe main problem is the delivery.
Now that I'm back from work and I pretty much agree with everything Odi said. If you can get her to re-sing it, tell her to sing it like early Avril Lavign or Pink would, just really raw, in your face & with a shit ton of attitude.

You could try different drum samples but a lot of modern drum sounds come from layering in multiple drums behind it. Its very common to see modern sessions where a snare drum has a top & bottom mic track then 1-3 different snare drums or an 808 layered behind it to sound kickass.

If you end up sending Odi a copy of the session, send me one too. I've been looking for a good Pop-Punk session to get me back in the groove of things.
Derpy Derp Derp Herp Derp
Right, so thanks for the advice so far. This is the plan:
-Get Becca to re-sing her vocal lines with some balls in it (in her defense they're my lyrics and she learnt them that day), back off the reverb a bit and fiddle with the EQ to give it a clearer top end.
-Double all the bass/snare drums and parallel compress them
-Pan the rhythm guitars hard to each side
-Turn down cymbals ,vocals and synths and turn up drums & guitars

I hadn't considered handing it off to be mixed elsewhere, I'll have a chat to the mate of mine who produced this track (I produced the instrumental track, we recorded vocals together and he mixed it) and see if he's happy to sort it out...what do you guys want? The raw track of each, or the overall mix??? You tell me what to do and I'll see if I can do it.
Raws of each. Guitar DIs, Bass DI, etc. All vocals (unpitch-corrected if possible) and drum midi.
Let's party.