Descendent-182
RancidPunk
Join date: Aug 2006
220 IQ
#1
This is a poem I have written and put to a rap beat. I will crit 4 crit .peace!

Will this be my big break or will I walk away broke?
You swallowed all your words and now you're trying not to choke
Will I have the last laugh or be the centre of your joke?
If you're looking for a fight, man, this is just a poke
I won't sugar coat it, your ego's over bloated
So you floated to the top and then you popped and couldn’t hold it
Sitting face down, rolling in the deep
It worked out for Adele, but you're just putting us to sleep
Please, you're barely audible, forget applaudable
Hannibal the cannibal going vegan is more plausible
Hick-hick hickory dickory dock, climb up the clock
You'll see me rising through the levels
Like Jack and the Been-stock
My show, so original, flow, so impeccable
As you're compensating for what lacks above your testicles
No disrespecting, yo, it's just quite the spectacle
I was killing it under radar, but now my threat is detectable

So close this time, I can feel it rising up
They pull at my feet, but they can't reach high enough
I don't know why you even try
There's not a chance so step aside
We came to kill it tonight

I come from the land of corny cover bands
No refunds, fine, you can take that Nickleback
Vicious vultures are circling while our culture's skin is purpling
But a purpose is resurfacing so I'll have to hold my breath
It's not where you're from, it's strictly how you sound
Like a zombie in a grave, we're rising from the underground
We'll be on the ready when the enemy ship crashes
Pointing and laughing while we're pissing on their ashes
This is my moment, only I can control it
This power that I'm holding is bringing shame to all you nay sayers
So close this time, I can feel it rising up
Tripping through the trails of twisted
A gifted kid with a sense of satirical persistence
I keep a record in my journal
I spit fire that feels like acid on your epidermal
This addiction is eternal
Staying up all night because my habits are nocturnal

So close this time, I can feel it rising up
They pull at my feet, but they can't reach high enough
I don't know why you even try
There's not a chance so step aside
We came to kill it tonight

“You've really got some problems, kid. I think you need medication.”
Why? So I can be sedated and live a life of wasted education?
“I'm merely the voice of reason and this life you live is damaging.”
Really? I think I'm handling. How are you managing?
Your salary's a silent killer like Ronald McDonald
So here's a better tasting brand of your own medicine
re-labeled and bottled, yet still harmful if swallowed
Leaving your chest cavity hollowed
“You really think that your something, but you're not a tough act to follow.
There's been plenty just like you. They come and they go.
They write a couple catchy hooks and put on a decent show”
Go ahead and spit out your accusations, but I'm done fighting back
I'll save my energy for the music, keep my aggression on a track.

So close this time, I can feel it rising up
They pull at my feet, but they can't reach high enough
I don't know why you even try
There's not a chance so step aside
We came to kill it tonight
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
Will23guitar
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2013
10 IQ
#2
I don't really like the main part that much, I dunno, I guess it fits what you're trying to say though. But the verses....WOW. I think I suddenly like rap music now...
"I'm merely the voice of reason and this life you live is damaging.”
Really? I think I'm handling. How are you managing?
RussellNelson
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2013
30 IQ
#3
Nice rhymes man. Rap is not my expertise. But it sounds good to me. Keep it up.
Last edited by RussellNelson at Apr 22, 2013,