I like the idea. All I can say is the structure feels a little too random and just doesn't have that menace or forboding quality to it because of that. Might I suggest scoring it to a scene from a film to help pace it a little better?
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Starts of sounding pretty middle eastern and sounds like something that would be played in the opening of a movie. The delaying guitars is a nice effect that helps build a sort of creep vibe. Its pretty nice for a cinematic type thing. I don't think I'd put it on an album, but as a soundtrack to a movie or something it would fit well.

Critic back please https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1597405
@kornflipsk8er Yes there is no definitive structure and I wanted it that way. I like having songs feel like they're freeform in some way but I might work on building structures in the future. The tremolo doesn't have menacing or forboding qualities to it? Haha. I might have to rework that.

lol @ middle eastern & lol @ creep vibe

I'll work on it a bit and see what I can come up with. Thanks. I'll go and check out your song now.
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New version is pretty good, like the echo-y effects you got going with the delay on the guitars coming out the right ear every now and again. I think adding like a small half-note beat of toms for drums might add to the dark vibe of the song. Its nice, I like both versions of it.
Feel free to comment/critic more songs on my album :P https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1597405