Page 1 of 7
#1
Common ones I hear:


"Yeah as you can tell I'm really blues inspired with my playing."

Translation: "I don't know how to play anything else aside from Pentatonic scales and generic chord progressions"


"I don't add guitar solos in my playing because they are annoying and pointless."

Translation: "I suck at playing guitar and can't write a good solo to save my life"


"I like having my distortion set high on my amp because it makes my [difficult guitar technique] sound better and easier to play."

Translation: "I can't play [difficult guitar technique]'s correctly and need a shit ton of distortion to hide my mistakes."


"I play my [difficult guitar technique]'s like this instead of the traditional way because I think it sounds better"

Translation: "I learned my [difficult guitar technique]'s completely wrong and I'm too lazy to fix them so I make a bullshit excuse to hide the fact."


Granted, some excuses like these may actually be legitamate when said by the correct person, but 9.99 times out of 10 they're just excuses all translating to some form of "I'm not worth shit as a player."

Any others you've come across?
#6


I can't really see why anyone would say any of those things in the first place unless they were trying to be pretentious in the first place, so the translation really isn't needed...
It's over simplified, So what!

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#7
yeah ****ing guitarists trying to ****ing not come across as dickheads, **** those guys
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#8
Quote by Obsceneairwaves


I can't really see why anyone would say any of those things in the first place unless they were trying to be pretentious in the first place, so the translation really isn't needed...
Whatever, I hear it all the time.


Especially when guitar players try to say that they are trying to "create they're own sound." That's almost always translates to "I suck at everything."

Not saying that guitarists shouldn't try to sound original though.
#9
"Hi I'm Ian and I'm a massive fucking faggot"

translation - "Hi I'm Ian and I'm a massive fucking faggot"
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#10
@TS:
I thought I told you to get a life already, you furry!

Quote by Hydra150
"Hi I'm Ian and I'm a massive fucking faggot"

translation - "Hi I'm Ian and I'm a massive fucking faggot"

Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Apr 30, 2013,
#11
Quote by Hydra150
"BARK! YARP! ARF! YIP! RUFF!"

translation - "Hi I'm Ian and I'm a massive fucking faggot"
FTFY


Quote by crazysam23_Atax
@TS:
I thought I told you to get a life already, you furry!
Why don't you try shaving your beard, then I'll listen to you.
Last edited by Ian_the_fox at Apr 30, 2013,
#12
"I don't listen to metal because it's bad for my image. I'm trying to get into jazz. I still take care of my hair though, I keep it better than most girls I know lol"
Translation: "my autism level is over 9000"
Last edited by captainsnazz at Apr 30, 2013,
#13
"BARK! YARP! ARF! YIP! RUFF!"

translation - "Hi I'm Ian and I'm really insecure"
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#14
Settle down the lot of you or you'll all be with me in detention.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#15
Who wants to bet TS uses all of those excuses regularly?
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#16
2011 Gibson Honeyburst LP Trad. w/ SD Whole Lotta Humbuckers
2014 Gibson Ocean Water Standard Plus
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Hughes & Kettner Tubemeister 5
#17
"Settle down the lot of you or you'll all be with me in detention."

translation - "I love you, Hydra. Promise me that you'll never change."
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#19
He's been blue for ages
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#22
I don't make excuses, my playing has got to sloppy hell in teh last year, and it wasn't very clean to begin with. It was alright. I've never heard these excuses honestly. I guess if I used one it's that for the amount I've practiced, it really doesn't show, I didn't have a natural talent for music at all.
#24
Quote by ProgFripp74
Who wants to bet TS uses all of those excuses regularly?
Well, I have to admit I use the last one with several of my techniques, especially with my bending as I bend with fingers instead of wrist.

But whatever, people are often envious of my bending capabilities so you can say what you want.


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Why are you hanging around high schoolers?
Who said shitty guitarists are only high-schoolers?
Last edited by Ian_the_fox at Apr 30, 2013,
#25
"Jimi Hendrix never learned theory, so why should i?"

Because you are not Jimi Hendrix. Stop being lazy.

To be fair, i think i used that excuse once or twice because i couldn't be bothered with actually learning theory, but then after i started taking lessons, i realised how shit i was before, and how stupid i was for thinking that i could just wing it all by ear.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#26
Quote by Ian_the_fox

But whatever, people are often envious of my bending capabilities so you can say what you want.

Yeah, I'd have to agree with them
you are a colossal bender
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
Last edited by Hydra150 at Apr 30, 2013,
#27
"I play guitar"

Translation: "I'm so thick I either don't make EDM, or tried and can't do it"
#28
Quote by willT08
"I play guitar"

Translation: "I'm so thick I either don't make EDM, or tried and can't do it"

But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#29
Quote by Spaztikko
Inb4 bullshit furry excuses.

I'd make that a thing but I have a warning. Hydra you need to stop being mean to Ian, now he doesnt have a spot to answer my dating questions or be HIMSELF OK FURRY THREAD 2K13
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1596470

YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY QUESTION.

Also lol stop being 7

Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#30
Quote by willT08
"I play guitar"

Translation: "I'm so thick I either don't make IDM, or tried and can't do it"

foxed
Last edited by anvil is god at Apr 30, 2013,
#33
Quote by Hydra150
Yeah, you are a bit of a bender.

m8 dat reminds me I was in town wid da boys avin a bit ov a giggle yeh me mate robbie made some brill rippa calls nd it was more hoo rah den that time we won the fa cup back in 75. anywas m8 we were avin a few drinks nd ere's kev goin out like a bloody loony when all of a sudden a top bird moves over to 'im and drags him away. he musta had a roite bloody time, cuz we havent seen im in loike three days.

anyways, good ol kev turned up eventually nd we were avin a bit of a giggle at how ol dano ended up gettin his shoes in the pisser, making a big hoo rah about it nd everythin. ol miss dawkins from down the road ad to come nd yell at old jimbo in tha corner because hes avin a right spaz at ow his mates feet are covered in faecal matter

anyways, kev rocks up back to the crib with a pack of beer under is arm, so alls forgiven for ditchin for some fine bird the otha day. he was gettin roite back into life until we realised hed brought some pissy coronas into our home and wow did dobbo laugh at that but he didnt complain neither when he was chuggin it down with some steaks at the barbie on wednesday.

anyways, good ol kev tells us about certain escapades and its making a bright rippa story until he had to escape. on the third night he discovered why she liked to do it on the carpet with all the lights out m8. he just thought she had long hair but no, it was just some awkward bloke who taped fur to his tits. jimbo nearly spilt his mums ashes at that part of the story - bloody kev couldnt get out fast enough, right bell end he was. fortunately for kev, the extremely confused man was put down not soon afta, nd the world was a rippa place once more. Have a bloody rippa tuesday m8.
#34
'I hate [certain technique] it sounds like crap.'

I am not very good at said technique, therefore I become insecure about it.
#35
But solos are pointless and crap. And even when I do play them, I play them using my own heavily blues-inspired non-traditional techniques, because it sounds way better. Also, I find a lot of distortion really improves my playing.
RIP Adam
#36
Quote by Hydra150
Yeah, I'd have to agree with them
you are a colossal bender


...modes and scales are still useless.


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#37
Quote by Ian_the_fox


9.99 times out of 10



Should have used percentages. You can now go on and continue posting in this useless thread.

kthxbai
<Omri> I love trannys too..
#38
I don't solo because I suck at it
I can write certain, moderate level leads though. I'm mostly a rhythm guy and see myself always being like that.

Translation: I don't want to have to practice enough to become prodigy......I don't have that kind of work ethic
#39
Nobody likes guitarists so when someone asks me I say I don't play. And when people see me playing guitar I refuse to speak about playing it.