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#1
I'm super serious. What happened?

I'm sick of all these horror movies where some dumb broad died in a mansion, and now the mansion is haunted and the ghost is up on everyone's face.

I'm sick of all them demon possession movies. They all the same. We've all seen everyone and their dog's take on the god damn exorcist.

If I see another movie where a "spirit/ghost expert" comes into the house to investigate "a disturbance" I might actually stand up, whip out my dick, and starting wanking.

What's the deal with girls with long dark hair? When did that shit become scary? God. Damn. Ok, it was scary in the Ring, which was, like, at least 10 years ago. And now every director's been all like "Hmm, shit my movie ain't scary. I know, let's put in a girl with long dark hair in there somewhere. People are always scared of girls with long dark hair."

Guess what. No. They're not. Girls are weak and puny. Kick them in the goddamn face.

Now it's Zombie season. Out of a sudden everyone wants to kill zombies. Shit, yeah that's fun. But you can only kill so many zombies until the point of the plot gets blurred out. I'm looking at you Walking Dead.

I'll tell you what's scary. Not paying your rent or your mortgage. I'd take a hoard of zombies over that shit any day.
#2
Stop being a pussy.
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#5
Philip Pepper: Film Novice Extraordinaire


And that was probably the most wanky OP I've ever read. It was like reading a shitty knock off Seinfeld monologue.
Last edited by blake1221 at May 1, 2013,
#6
Not true. It feels like yesterday I went to see the first Paranormal Activity and now suddenly they're on like the 10th one and that makes me feel old and like I'm probably just gonna die soon and that's fear, Phillip.
#7
They also have such vague titles. Wassup wit dat?
We're all alright!
#10
You sound like a Louis CK bit.
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
#11
Quote by Mister.Y
You sound like a Louis CK bit.


Bit of an insult to Louis don't you think?
The time has come for all to see

The men behind the curtain cast at you disease



Yours Sincerely
#12
Evil Dead was a pretty cul guy, eh demonic possession and doesnt afraid of anything
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#13
Quote by Nelsean
Evil Dead was a pretty cul guy, eh demonic possession and doesnt afraid of anything


off-topic, but does it live up to Evil Dead 2? They were saying it's a remake, but it's got different characters, and I was wondering if it'd still be good without a half-possessed guy with a chainsaw and a shot gun as his arms (respectfully).
#14
Quote by Nick92Slayer
Bit of an insult to Louis don't you think?


I'd say a lot of his comedy is in his delivery, which is obviously absent in the OP. But the theme is Louis CK-ish, plus the edginess, 'girls are weak'-line were stuff that made me think of him.

Anyway, you can still suck and sound like someone else, though I could image Louis saying stuff like this and making it work.

It might have been better put as ''reads like...''
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
#15
I'm intrigued to know what you think counts as a scary movie TS. You have criticised pretty much the whole franchise.
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Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#16
Quote by leony03
I'm intrigued to know what you think counts as a scary movie TS. You have criticised pretty much the whole franchise.

He really hasn't. He's criticised the current, post-Paranormal Activity trend in Hollywood horror cinema, and if you can't be bothered to look beyond that then you have no business complaining about the state of horror.
#17
Quote by mjones1992
off-topic, but does it live up to Evil Dead 2? They were saying it's a remake, but it's got different characters, and I was wondering if it'd still be good without a half-possessed guy with a chainsaw and a shot gun as his arms (respectfully).


Nah, it's a remake to the 1st one. They changed some stuff, but overall I think it was waaaaaay better than the original.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#18
You're German or something, stop saying ain't.
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#19
Quote by Nelsean
Nah, it's a remake to the 1st one. They changed some stuff, but overall I think it was waaaaaay better than the original.


Ah! I skipped the first one as I heard it kinda sucked compared to 2. I guess I know what I'm gonna go see this weekend. (it's still in theaters, right? :-/ )
#20
Quote by Mister.Y
I'd say a lot of his comedy is in his delivery, which is obviously absent in the OP. But the theme is Louis CK-ish, plus the edginess, 'girls are weak'-line were stuff that made me think of him.

Anyway, you can still suck and sound like someone else, though I could image Louis saying stuff like this and making it work.

It might have been better put as ''reads like...''


Yes, but plenty of threads on here which are in a similar vein.
So with that and what you said. It's an insult

Can we agree to agree?
The time has come for all to see

The men behind the curtain cast at you disease



Yours Sincerely
#21
Quote by mjones1992
Ah! I skipped the first one as I heard it kinda sucked compared to 2. I guess I know what I'm gonna go see this weekend. (it's still in theaters, right? :-/ )


Yeah man, go see it. It scared the shit out of my wife and I cringed a few times at how horrifying some of the scenes can be.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#22
Quote by BelowTheSun
He really hasn't. He's criticised the current, post-Paranormal Activity trend in Hollywood horror cinema, and if you can't be bothered to look beyond that then you have no business complaining about the state of horror.


I don't see the need to be rude. I'm no horror movie fanatic but all the horror movies I see around are either posession/demon ones, physcological or violent/torture. The latter I don't particularly call a horror as they aren't scary, just generally messed up.
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Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#23


nope.
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#24
Quote by Nick92Slayer
Yes, but plenty of threads on here which are in a similar vein.
So with that and what you said. It's an insult

Can we agree to agree?


Sure. I insulted Louis CK. I'm going to stand in the corner for a bit now.
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
#25
Quote by leony03
I don't see the need to be rude. I'm no horror movie fanatic but all the horror movies I see around are either posession/demon ones, physcological or violent/torture. The latter I don't particularly call a horror as they aren't scary, just generally messed up.

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as rude, I am a horror movie fanatic and threads like this get on my nerves, I don't know why I even open them
#27
Quote by leony03
I'm intrigued to know what you think counts as a scary movie TS. You have criticised pretty much the whole franchise.


Honestly? I ain't got a clue. As soon as they make something fresh they beat it to death, such as with Paranormal Activity, The Ring, Saw, etc,. It seems that now they are back to the Haunted House theme. I thought the Blair Witch project was scary at the time before I found out it wasn't real. (I was too young when I first saw it )

I just don't know. It's been a long time since I got my jimmies startled by a movie.

Quote by Nelsean
Yeah man, go see it. It scared the shit out of my wife and I cringed a few times at how horrifying some of the scenes can be.


The whole time during the movie I kept thinking "Oh, right, so at this moment there's a dude opening the door by pulling a string or something. Oh, that's neat, they made foot marks. Cool, wonder how they did that."

Kept waiting for the part where it got scary.
Last edited by Philip_pepper at May 1, 2013,
#28
Quote by BelowTheSun
Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as rude, I am a horror movie fanatic and threads like this get on my nerves, I don't know why I even open them


Haha fair enough I dont know why I opened it to be honest haha. The only horror movie i've seen in the cinema was with my friend who had 2-for-1 and I thought why not It was that one about a family had moved into some house and they found this old projector and these tapes of the previous owners being hung. It was ok

Quote by Philip_pepper
Honestly? I ain't got a clue. As soon as they make something fresh they beat it to death, such as with Paranormal Activity, The Ring, Saw, etc,. It seems that now they are back to the Haunted House theme. I thought the Blair Witch project was scary at the time before I found out it wasn't real. (I was too young when I first saw it )

I just don't know. It's been a long time since I got my jimmies startled by a movie.


Yeah, I loved Paranormal Activity 1. I liked what they managed to do with a $15k budget

Saw 1 is great as well. Dat ending. I still kinda liked the rest of the series but not in a "these films are awesome" way. More to see the crazy traps they had managed to think up
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Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
Last edited by leony03 at May 1, 2013,
#29
Quote by leony03
Haha fair enough I dont know why I opened it to be honest haha. The only horror movie i've seen in the cinema was with my friend who had 2-for-1 and I thought why not It was that one about a family had moved into some house and they found this old projector and these tapes of the previous owners being hung. It was ok

Sounds like Sinister, am I right? That was one of the more decent Hollywood-made ones of recent years, but you really have to look away from the films that get shoved in your face if you want to find a good horror film.

Over here in the UK Ben Wheatley kills it (literally) every time he gets behind the camera, the French and Spanish have been pushing the boundaries of the genre for 10 years, and some American indie guys like Ti West and Adam Wingard are putting fresh takes on the familiar, horror is really in good shape, despite what TS thinks.
#30
What about Cabin in the Woods? Nearly everyone who saw seems to think it's one of the best horror movies ever made, which I totally agree with. It's fantastic, and it's only a year or so old. And I just saw Sinister two weeks ago. It was a little predictable, but it actually managed to creep me out, which is really saying something as it's near impossible for a movie to scare me. There's also The Uninvited, Cloverfield, 1408, Drag Me to Hell, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, stuff like that. I know a lot of you will disagree with my picks, but I still like them regardless . There are still good horror movies coming out, you just kind of have to look for them. I still personally think the 80s had most of the best horror movies, but there's still an occasional gem from time to time .

And what version of the Walking Dead have you been watching? The whole story focuses mainly on the characters and how they interact and survive. That's what's so compelling about it. It's not just a zombie slaughterfest, it actually has a lot of substance. Sure, they kill a lot of the zombies, but not to the point that it becomes tedious.
Last edited by Skodward714 at May 1, 2013,
#31
The Walking Dead is a drama.

It's his fault for thinking otherwise.

It doesn't even try to be scary
#32
Quote by BelowTheSun
Sounds like Sinister, am I right? That was one of the more decent Hollywood-made ones of recent years, but you really have to look away from the films that get shoved in your face if you want to find a good horror film.

Over here in the UK Ben Wheatley kills it (literally) every time he gets behind the camera, the French and Spanish have been pushing the boundaries of the genre for 10 years, and some American indie guys like Ti West and Adam Wingard are putting fresh takes on the familiar, horror is really in good shape, despite what TS thinks.


Yeah that was it. It was better than I expected to be honest. Ending was a bit meh though I felt.

I might have a look for some. I generally watch films in bed and the last thing I wanna watch is a horror but exams are over soon so I will have some time during the day. Any good ones to recommend?

^^Yeah, I forgot about Cabin In The Woods. That was sick. I was like wtf is going on but then the ending was killer. It was a nice change to what is the generic sounding horror film (which they took the piss out of lol).
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Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#33
>2013
>watching horror films
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#34
Quote by leony03
Yeah that was it. It was better than I expected to be honest. Ending was a bit meh though I felt.

I might have a look for some. I generally watch films in bed and the last thing I wanna watch is a horror but exams are over soon so I will have some time during the day. Any good ones to recommend?

^^Yeah, I forgot about Cabin In The Woods. That was sick. I was like wtf is going on but then the ending was killer. It was a nice change to what is the generic sounding horror film (which they took the piss out of lol).

I went through a phase where I watched pretty much exclusively horror films for over a year, but now I have to be in the mood for one, so I don't watch nearly as many as I used to.

But still, Ben Wheatley's Kill List is excellent, and Sightseers is very good too, although it leans more towards comedy than balls-out terror. In terms of foreign, you can't go wrong with [REC], El Orfanato, Haute Tension, Martyrs, Ils (Them) or The Devil's Backbone. And that's really just scraping the surface.
#35
Is it just me or does Philip get dumber and more annoying with every new thread he makes?

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#37
I've noticed that as well. I remember when during the 80's after watching Poltergeist,i had to sleep with the lights on.
#38
Quote by Xiaoxi
Is it just me or does Philip get dumber and more annoying with every new thread he makes?

Definitely not just you.
#39
Quote by Skodward714
What about Cabin in the Woods? Nearly everyone who saw seems to think it's one of the best horror movies ever made, which I totally agree with. It's fantastic, and it's only a year or so old. And I just saw Sinister two weeks ago. It was a little predictable, but it actually managed to creep me out, which is really saying something as it's near impossible for a movie to scare me. There's also The Uninvited, Cloverfield, 1408, Drag Me to Hell, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, stuff like that. I know a lot of you will disagree with my picks, but I still like them regardless . There are still good horror movies coming out, you just kind of have to look for them. I still personally think the 80s had most of the best horror movies, but there's still an occasional gem from time to time .

And what version of the Walking Dead have you been watching? The whole story focuses mainly on the characters and how they interact and survive. That's what's so compelling about it. It's not just a zombie slaughterfest, it actually has a lot of substance. Sure, they kill a lot of the zombies, but not to the point that it becomes tedious.


I know, let me explain. It started off with a very 28 days later feel to it, which is cool, but now there's hardly any danger to it. All the good looking actors/actresses aren't going to get killed off because, well, they are good looking. All the favourite characters aren't going to get killed off because everyone loves them.

So what's left? The annoying ones get to die before everyone else. Plus, anyone who is black, really.

The drama is rising, but the horror is getting more and more watered down.

Quote by Xiaoxi
Is it just me or does Philip get dumber and more annoying with every new thread he makes?


Quote by blake1221
Definitely not just you.



Hey screw you guys. Exam time is over, I don't have to pretend to be smrat anymore.
Last edited by Philip_pepper at May 1, 2013,
#40
Quote by Axelfox
I've noticed that as well. I remember when during the 80's after watching Poltergeist,i had to sleep with the lights on.

Maybe, just maybe, it was because you were 6 years old at the time, and now you're in your 30's.
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