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#1
I was sitting up in my room with my best friend when I was about 12. For whatever reason, I had my dick flopped out of my pants, and i started stroking it. Neither of us knew what was going on, but he was laughing his ass off at the fact that my dick was erected and I had my hands all over over it.. and then suddenly.. BAM!! I just cummed everywhere. I was scared. Thats when we went online to find out what just happened to me

Anyone else?
#4
Edit: ^

Uhh... Another masturbation thread?
...you aren't a multi of that one guy in my sig, are you?

Not Nelsean. He's cool in his own masturbatory way. The other guy.

Double edit: @OP. Son... You have some major problems. I think what you need right now is some Jesus in your life.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at May 16, 2013,
#8
I became erect when I killed a man for the first time and came blood.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#11
I was in bed once and I pulled my pants and underwear down because it's comfortable. It was the first time I did that and I felt like I had to pee, but I thought "nah not that bad" and it got worse and worse and I felt it leave my body. I thought "shit, I pissed myself" so I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I was like "the ****, this isn't piss...and it smells like some weird soap" so I asked my friend about it, and he asked me if I had masturbated. And I asked what that was. Then he explained it.


tl;dr the first time I came, my penis wasn't even being driven to climax and my friend thought I jerked off when I explained the feeling, then explained masturbation because I was beta
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Wire his sack to the electrical socket the next time, little fucker will be shootin lightening bolts all over the house.
#14
i was way into green day when i was like 11-12. i read that "longview" was about masturbation, so i looked up masturbation on wikipedia. i was a resourceful kid.
#18
Quote by mr.sexytime
You were a pretty ****ing gay 12 year old.....



loooooooooool
Sail upon the open skies
#20
I did it years before I was able to cum #hipster
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#22
In 4th grade, a friend of my older brother was over at our house with a PSP. This PSP had a 2gb memory stick entirely filled with porn. I didn't really care for it, it didn't arouse any feelings or stirrings in me. He noticed and made a huge point of trying to embarrass me. "Oh yeah, Jake's probably gonna go jack off to this later. You know how to masturbate? You lick your hand like this *lick the webbing between his thumb and index finger* and do this *begins throwing his arm around furiously near his crotch*"

I figured later that I'd try it just to see what it was like and got a little boner. Nothing came out, never even reached orgasm. I distinctly remember making special frequent trips to the bathroom to do that in 5th grade

Yeah, so I was corrupted pretty early in life...
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Oh, DON'T use a knife. It cuts through your strings. I did that once, thinking, its the Low E, its invincible. Turns out, its not...

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Awesome
#23
Quote by Angus_Junior35
In 4th grade, a friend of my older brother was over at our house with a PSP. This PSP had a 2gb memory stick entirely filled with porn. I didn't really care for it, it didn't arouse any feelings or stirrings in me. He noticed and made a huge point of trying to embarrass me. "Oh yeah, Jake's probably gonna go jack off to this later. You know how to masturbate? You lick your hand like this *lick the webbing between his thumb and index finger* and do this *begins throwing his arm around furiously near his crotch*"

I figured later that I'd try it just to see what it was like and got a little boner. Nothing came out, never even reached orgasm. I distinctly remember making special frequent trips to the bathroom to do that in 5th grade

Yeah, so I was corrupted pretty early in life...

There was PSP's when you were in 4th grade? Did you join when you were like 12?
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#24
Quote by Angus_Junior35
I distinctly remember making special frequent trips to the bathroom to do that in 5th grade

Yeah, so I was corrupted pretty early in life...


That is f*cking sad
#25
Eleven, actually. Hence the apparent username reference to Angus Young, every young guitarist's idol. A week or so afterwards, I realized it conveyed the intended satire much better if I would've registered with "Young Angus". Not long after that, I grew out of AC/DC and regret my username more than a botched vasectomy.
Quote by silhouettica
Oh, DON'T use a knife. It cuts through your strings. I did that once, thinking, its the Low E, its invincible. Turns out, its not...

Quote by Kensai
Awesome
#26
Quote by Angus_Junior35
Eleven, actually. Hence the apparent username reference to Angus Young, every young guitarist's idol. A week or so afterwards, I realized it conveyed the intended satire much better if I would've registered with "Young Angus". Not long after that, I grew out of AC/DC and regret my username more than a botched vasectomy.

You lying son of a bitch. Twelve is the minimum age I think.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#28
I threw away my couches and brought in my hammock and parked it right in front of the TV. I keep a down comforter and pillows on the hammock to shield myself from the ropes. For some strange reason, whenever I masturbate in the hammock and watch TV at the same time (like I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing to myself), I have the BEST orgasms. I know for logistics reasons that most people will never get to try this, but just smile knowing that in about 20 minutes, that's probably where I'll be.
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

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#29
Quote by Angus_Junior35
Eleven, actually. Hence the apparent username reference to Angus Young, every young guitarist's idol. A week or so afterwards, I realized it conveyed the intended satire much better if I would've registered with "Young Angus". Not long after that, I grew out of AC/DC and regret my username more than a botched vasectomy.

hey i think i was eleven when i joined too. sup.
#30
Scoundrels, all of you.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#32
Quote by BladeSlinger
You lying son of a bitch. Twelve is the minimum age I think.
He's like 15.
*-)
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i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

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#34
I would have been 14 at the time I think.

Quote by lolmnt
He's like 15.

I meant when he joined.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#35
My parents never had the balls to give me The Talk, so when I was in like fifth grade my mom bought me this picture book about puberty. It was originally published in the mid-'70s or something, so I was pretty surprised at how incredibly frank it was.

Pretty much straight-up told you what masturbation is, and that you should totally try it ASAP.

I'm not sure my mom actually looked through it prior to purchasing it.

I started when I was eleven. Nothing came out back then; that started at some point when I was 12. I was just having dry orgasms at first.
Last edited by Holy Katana at May 17, 2013,
#36
Friend showed me when i was 11. But apparently i was playing with it constantly ever since i was a baby according to older relatives.
#37
This thread.

OT: Saw some softcore porn on Showtime or whatever and it looked like it felt good so I tried it.
STಠ_ಠ
#38
lol, my friend was sleeping over in my basement and we had been watching something on TV with highly sexual, but in retrospect, relatively tame content. I think it was The Real World. Later on, my friend was asleep (kid was a real heavy sleeper), and I had a stiffy going on. I started rubbing myself up against the fold out mattress like I had an itch on my dick.

I quickly realized how good this felt. I continued it and suddenly it felt REALLY ****ING GOOD and my tighty whities were suddenly quite gooey.

I just realized I'm sitting on that very same couch. lol, my parents have been talking about getting a new one for 11 years.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#39
I really can't remember but Jesus Harold Christ that OP
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#40
Quote by snipelfritz
lol, my friend was sleeping over in my basement and we had been watching something on TV with highly sexual, but in retrospect, relatively tame content. I think it was The Real World. Later on, my friend was asleep (kid was a real heavy sleeper), and I had a stiffy going on. I started rubbing myself up against the fold out mattress like I had an itch on my dick.

I quickly realized how good this felt. I continued it and suddenly it felt REALLY ****ING GOOD and my tighty whities were suddenly quite gooey.

I just realized I'm sitting on that very same couch. lol, my parents have been talking about getting a new one for 11 years.


You didn't learn to masturbate before being able to ejaculate?
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