#1
Okay, so here's the circumstance of why I made this:

In English class, we just finished reading "The Great Gatsby", and were assigned a project in which was mostly free, though had to be based on the book. I wrote and recorded a 3 track album (Only had 4 days to throw everything together, so plus the album art, I produced about 1 piece of work per day.) based on Gatsby's life before the book. Though it's not quite finished and I wanted to add more songs, plus Track 3 isn't completely fleshed out, I plan to make a part 2 and get it done before the end of June.

http://jaredshaw.bandcamp.com/album/gatsby-part-1

I'll gladly C4C, just leave a link and consider it done!
#2
Hey! Well it's an interesting idea. I think you executed it pretty well using what you had. Track 1 and 2 didn't really need to be separated though in my opinion, but that's your choice. It's essentially just adding on to what you had before. It would definitely help if you had some percussion, the clock was cool, but if you had something else come in for the second track I think it'd be a lot more effective. The last track suffers from it's lack of driving force, if you had some percussion it would make it a lot clearer. I'd look into some drum vst's. Composition wise I think you get your themes across pretty well, the first two tracks could use some change in rhythm for the main part, but I like the pauses you put in, makes it clear on what the track is.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=31492571#post31492571
#3
I haven't listened to all of it quite yet, but I have listened to 1 and 2. These tracks sound like they're very simple, but they project the idea well. I agree with the first reply in that I don't think they needed to be separate tracks. I also agree with some percussion needing added. Without that, the tracks feel empty to me.

The clock actually inspires me to write a piece like it. I enjoyed listening. Good work.
#4
Hey man thanks for the crit.
Simpler days: I dig the clock man, that was pretty cool. I love how for once, a title doesnt lie. It says simpler days, and its a simple song, harking back to simple days. Dug it

Cold Nights: I actually kinda can see how this can be a second song, however, i think overall this whole set of songs could be one epic, at least these 2. Maybe something like, Gatsby, Part 1. Simpler days and Gatsby, Part 2. Cold nights. But really besides a naming thing, i dig this. Some drums would have been wonderful, but not really needed. The only part of this i didnt like was the VERY end tbh. Idk, it could have been done so much better imo. BUT overall, this song was awesome.

Trench Warfare: I didnt like it to be blunt. It just sounds very random compared to the others. I do think the riffs are sweet, and i like the idea of getting heavier, but when put into a collection with the other songs, its seemingly random. I could easily see how the other songs were connected, this one not so much. The riffs themselves are actually pretty decent, almost sounds black metal ish. Very atmospheric, which wasnt apparent right away but as im listening it shows up. However, this song really doesnt fit in with the idea/concept. What i could have seen u doing, is keep the overlying clock idea, and have it start out again with just the ticking of the clock, and maybe add some increasing delay/reverb on the clock sound, so it sounds like its getting bigger and bigger, and then have an epic drum fill, and just an open, perhaps drop tuned powerchord. Let it sit, and keep the clock sound ticking, cutting the reverb/delay. Then just let it fade. That imo would close out the idea to this much better, and would in actuality not be that hard to work out.

Either way, to finish, Id give this a 6.5 or a 7 out of 10. The first two songs i actually really dug the concept. The third one strayed from that, this could have been super amazing. If u do any more work on it, please lemme know! I liked it so far! Good job man! Props!
#5
Thanks for your time, everyone!

I've revised track 3, "Trench Warfare", so maybe it would be worth another listen - this time around, there's drums, bass, and a more appropriate intro/outro.
#6
Hmmm, I like the idea that track one is going for but I don't think some parts were executed correctly. The silence you throw in at the begining is a great tool in songs, but it must be utilized right and it feels a little random in the sense of the first song. Perhaps if a repeated bassline were thrown into the first song it would sound a little cleaner. Maybe if the ideas were more fleshed out instead of sounding more random it would flow better. Like stated before, the first and second tracks seriously don't need top be separated :P

Now the third track...
holy shit I didn't see that coming at all. Thats a sick riff you got going on there but it needs to be turned down. Perhaps if the last song had a slight distrotion it would flow into the third piece better. Again, I think the idea is great but it isn;t executed well. It needs much more variety as theres to much repetition.

Overall, you were really pressed for time so I didn;t come in with high expectations. Maybe one track would have been sufficient that you could have spent more time on. If you have any other songs I'd gladly listen to them, your style is certainly very interesting!
#7
cold nights: sounds very Pink Floyd-ish at times, its also fairly abrupt dynamically in places. The guitar tone is lovely, and the fingerpicking parts sound fantastic. I think the track is definitely missing that final dynamic high, the drone part at the end is a bit abstract - would be nice for the guitar to quickly gain some pace of expression perhaps. Overall really enjoyed.

Trench Warfare: didn't expect that metal to enter. I like it but the percussion could do with be brought up in the mix. The harmony stuff is very 80s to me, like that. Again great quality of sound. Like how the buzz increases in static toward the climax. Instruments spaced out well in the mix.

Simpler Days: nice little addition. lovely sparkle to the tone, and sets a nice mood for the other tracks.

Have a listen to this when you can:
my track
#8
Writing as I listen.

Simpler Days/Cold nights ( I think I missed the transisition so I accidently critiqued these together):
The ticking clock is a nice touch. The clean guitar parts is nice. The tone is a bit "Sterile" like you ran it into your PC DI and only put on some delay. It almost feels like it clips some times. Could also be EMG's? Or pickups that you set really high/hot. The part at 0:36ish were you do the kind of "ticking clock arpegio" is nice. Perhaps you could have elaborated on that and use that to build the song somewhere because currently you introduce nice ideas and then just kind of slowly fade away to another idea. Feels a bit too improvised. Didn't really fel the outro.

Trench Warfare:
The clock keeps on ticking. Ooh mysterious sound at 0:19 and suddenly bass guitar. 0:21 the metal enters. Riffs are nice, but the sound is kind of lacking (Then again it's a 4 day project so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to complain). BUT the tone sounds like you just put your amps rec out/multieffect unit straight into your PC's (Crappy) sound card which doesn't do much for the tone. In hind sight that's probably what also happend at the previous 2 tracks and made the tone a bit "sterile" there. If you really want to go this route I'd suggest you look into Cabinet simulator because it ussually takes a lot of the "Digital fizz" away and turns it into something usefull.( If you're at loss where to start with cab simulation I'd suggest checking out this thread's second post: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1522593 about Impulse loaders and Impulses)

The song itself was nice tough, it gave me a Iron Maiden vibe somehow. And that's good because I love me some Iron Maiden. The bassguitar tone was pretty good actually. Percussion wise the drum "sound" wasn't really good. It was a bit far back in the mix and missed some punch, and what the drum played could use some improvement. Some more "Simple" straight "snare on the three" rhythm with a 4/4th cymbal going might have be a bit less "chaotic" and powerfull for the metal thing you got going.

Overall:
Production is good enough for the first two tracks, but is a bit too lacking in the heavy part of the last song (Except for the bass guitar which was real good). The song's themselves are good but could use a bit more "direction" as in you could try making it go places betters/a bit more dynamic.
Guitasr:
Cort KX-Custom
ESP LTD M-200FM
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Engl Powerball
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Focusrite Scarlet 2i4