#1
I hope this could be the start of something good. Any help is highly appreciated. English is not my first language. Just a little disclaimer, lol.


a sight for sore eyes
to the blind would be awful majestic
it would be the most beautiful thing
that they ever had seen
it would cause such surprise
it would make all of their minds electric
how could anyone tell them
that some things are not what they seem?

in such disbelief
i thought i was asleep when i met you
my heart liquefied and i sighed
“oh this must be a dream”
if i forget to set the alarm
and sleep on through the dawn
don't remind me
I'd rather be dreaming of someone
than living alone
#2
stanza 1 is a very fascinating thought. i've never thought of that.

stanza 2 is also a very good way of putting things that are often cliche'd.

however i don't see much connection between the two stanzas but that doesn't mean you should break them off. theyre both great and it would be interesting to see how they work.

keep it goin'
-matt
#3
Pretty good man.

One little gripe is the use of awful in the second line, it should be the word awfully.
#4
Thank you so much! Both of you.

I will continue working on it, and maybe it will turn into something