Page 5 of 241
#161
Quote by 20Tigers
*Wall of agonizing truth*


Well that slightly dashed all my naive hopes. You're right though, I'm glad they're shaken. As I said, I have a few months now where I'm unlikely to see her, and that'll either confirm something in us or prove that it's just a passing state. I'm not particularly looking forward to having to no-one to chase again, but it's probably best in the long run. Thank you.

Quote by jesse music
Hey guys and gals, I'm in a good-friend, possibly more relationship that I'm really not sure how to handle, advice would be appreciated. (It may also be fairly easy to mock me, though in the interests of discussion rather than name calling I'd ask you to respectfully advise me on my situation, not criticize me).

I met a girl through a mutual friend around 5 - 6 months ago, and pretty much from day one we talked, most of the day when the opportunity presented itself, later on we also hung out a decent amount and saw two movies together. I found her really easy to talk to (and I usually find talking to people awkward and hard). We share a lot of views and interests, and about two weeks ago, she roundabout asked me out, I ended up defining us as 'good friends' , she said 'awww' and asked why she was friendzoned, (we previously, numerous times, admitted that we liked each other), but the reason I haven't negotiated a romantic relationship with her yet is I'm a christian, she's a deist of some sort with belief in reincarnation.

She felt angry and sad that I'd 'rejected her' (though truth be told, if she had been a christian, I probably would have asked her out maybe a month before), but as a result of this, she didn't speak to me for a day or two. In that time I went up to her work to see her, brought some strawberries and chocolates. Eventually she said sorry, and we talked out, I said that it would be very strange and sad for someone whom I thought I knew pretty well to cut me off just because I'd said no on the basis of worldview to a romantic relationship, and she expressed that it would also be distressing to have the fear of being dumped for a more 'religious person' (though I hope I'd never do this), I think she also said that it felt easier just to cut me off rather than trying to face the pain, which I understand. We talked about it and resolved to keep on being good friends, and it was 'cool', (though you never can tell what is going on underneath).

Just tonight now she gradually asked (paraphrasing), if I'd ever lead her on to keep being friends with her. I said that I hoped I wouldn't, that it would be dissapointing to me if she cut me off, but that I'd rather she be free to do what she wanted to do or felt was right.

Then she said that she was sorry she had brought it up, didn't want to talk about it anymore, was angry at herself for going over this again, and excused herself rather promptly and from what she said (she said she'd seen a movie I posted on fb, I wasn't sure exactly what she was talking about, the only movie I'd posted that night was a documentary, she then assumed I was watching that, ala busy (I've actually already seen it, which I told her) and then she went to bed (or said she was going to bed).

Advice?.


Sounds to me like you've made an eternal problem out of what should be a one off conversation.

The whole 'religious person with non-religious person' problem that you foresee doesn't exist. I've dated quite infused religious people (the person I'm currently smitten with is pretty enthusiastically Christian) and I can tell you that in young-adult relationships the situation is only an issue if one of the partners makes it into one. In this case, that person is you.

Now, from your post I can't tell if you do like her romantically or if you don't. If you do then it's quite pathetic to let your religion get in the way, if you don't then you're lying to yourself by saying her lack of religion is the issue (though, of course, it isn't. The issue is your religion, not her lack of one). However, if you don't like her then why on Earth have you been leading her on? If you've been buying her presents - strawberries and chocolates, no less! - and taking her out and telling her you like her then it's clear that she's going to assume you're interested, and if you're not then I'm afraid you have been leading her on.

Although, I'm not entirely sure what you want advice on. If you want advice on how to keep her as a friend then it would be to stop treating her like she's a box on the census, and stop leading her on. If you want advice on how to proceed romantically then it'd be to stop thinking about her like she's a demographic.

Also, if she likes you and you don't then the only kind thing to do is to make sure you see each other a lot less: preferably not at all. It's literally the only way to get over infatuation.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
Last edited by Todd Hart at May 29, 2013,
#162
Quote by kthxbi
^ that'd be pretty much it.

and also, i know you weren't saying you couldn't be *friends* with her - it's just that given that she is really, really interested in having a romantic relationship with you, and you are unwilling to be fully devoted to someone with whom you have different spiritual beliefs, i don't think it's entirely fair on her to be giving her gifts and trying to be around her all the time without giving her time to get over the idea of being with you.

you might be willing to be friends with her - but right now at least, you should, i think, maintain a little distance (again, not being horrible or cold or anything) so that she can clear her head about the whole thing.

at risk of being (HUGELY) trite, you can't always have your cake and eat it too.


The gifts were more of a 'sorry if I was an ass' apology and she'd mentioned to me that she wasn't sure what sort of a role my beliefs played in my life, if I'd be much the same without them, so it was also trying to be a way of showing her kindness (now whether that's what the action translated into is debateable, but my intention was to show her kindness) when I was pretty confused and kinda frustrated at the situation and sad.

I'm not trying to be around her all the time, whenever we meet up (apart from that day at her work), is by mutual suggestion and consent.

I'll try and keep a little distance.
#163
Quote by jesse music
but the worldview of christianity isn't just something that affects your sunday mornings, but heaps of areas in your life, the way you think about outside friends inside relationships, the way you think about money, about forgiveness, about generosity, about the direction of the relationship, a lot of stuff, and having cracks in the base that affects all of these, I'm not sure that would be healthy.

Yes, and not believing in a God may or may not affect how you think about all these things as well. Not agreeing perfectly on any or all of these things doesn't doom a relationship to failure, only compromise (which is needed in any relationship, not just ones between the religious and non-religious).
#164
Quote by jesse music
The gifts were more of a 'sorry if I was an ass' apology and she'd mentioned to me that she wasn't sure what sort of a role my beliefs played in my life, if I'd be much the same without them, so it was also trying to be a way of showing her kindness (now whether that's what the action translated into is debateable, but my intention was to show her kindness) when I was pretty confused and kinda frustrated at the situation and sad.

I'm not trying to be around her all the time, whenever we meet up (apart from that day at her work), is by mutual suggestion and consent.

I'll try and keep a little distance.
here brother - i'm not trying to beat you up about it. i know you were just trying to be nice, and i know you wanna hang out with her because you genuinely do like her as a person. but right now, you have a clash in interests which is going to end up FAR more painful for her than it is for you, and you've gotta take that into serious consideration with your actions.

i'm sure you're a great guy, but right here, there is no easy option for you out of the two you're allowing yourself. it's a 'lesser of two evils' situation. you've ruled out option three which is a relationship with her - for whatever reason.

the option is either to hurt her feelings a little maybe, but allow her the ability to get over you, or to probably cause her many months of confusion and upset by (accidentally) leading her on.

EDIT: and by 'for whatever reason' i didn't mean to say i still didn't know what your reasoning is. i know what your reasoning is but as has been said - by now, whether or not we or anyone agrees with it is irrelevant, you have your reason and that's that. so that was me skipping past it rather than being dismissive.
Last edited by kthxbi at May 29, 2013,
#165
Quote by megano28
But can't you understand that by sticking around for a friendship, when she wants a relationship is a bad idea? Based on what you've said, friends don't bring their friends strawberries and chocolates when they want to apologize etc. I can definitely see how she feels she's been led on, and you have to understand what that must be like towards her.

You got close with one another after months of friendship. All you wanted was friendship, she wanted more. At this point, it isn't your fault that the difference in expectations hurt her, that's life, but you have to make a decision. You can't keep her as she is because she's not happy as the situation stands.

You need to step away from her and let her understand that you mean what you say. Telling her no and then going to her work and apologizing and talking things out is not consistent with the message you're trying to give. And based on what you've said you said to her, it sounds like you're guilt tripping her into remaining your friend at times when she wanted out. Whether it was your intention or not, don't do that.

Basically, you have to take a permanent step back, otherwise you're fulfilling your needs while constantly hurting her. Your religious views on the matter are irrelevant. You don't want to be with her, but she wants to be with you. That's it.

And P.S when she sends you messages like that, I'm guessing she's looking to see if you would fight for her, and your nonchalant reply anger her. She wants you to feel what she does, but you clearly don't.


I'd like to think that I brought her the gifts as a good friend to apologise, though I can understand if you don't see it that way.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that all I wanted was friendship. I find her very congenial as a person, and said in my original post, had worldview been different, I probably would have asked her out a month ago.

I don't think I'm meaning to guilt trip her into being my friend, for true, I very much appreciate her being my friend, but she's absolutely, unequivocally, free, no guilt, to leave if she wishes.

I will try and take a permanent step back. I would disagree however that religious views are irrelevant, as I've indicated, I very much like her as a person, I just disagree with some of her views, views about such things as I deem of high importance.

Interesting you interpreted her message like that, I saw it mainly as her wanting to be left alone, which I tried to respect, but you're possibly right.
#166
Quote by willT08
Yes, and not believing in a God may or may not affect how you think about all these things as well. Not agreeing perfectly on any or all of these things doesn't doom a relationship to failure, only compromise (which is needed in any relationship, not just ones between the religious and non-religious).


I'd mostly agree with this.

The only part I'd dispute is were not talking about some abstract deity ball-of-energy out in the cosmos, I believe that most people taking christianity seriously would have a common base on the things I mentioned.

Though as I said, I agree with pretty much all you've written here.
#167
Quote by jesse music
I'd mostly agree with this.

The only part I'd dispute is were not talking about some abstract deity ball-of-energy out in the cosmos, I believe that most people taking christianity seriously would have a common base on the things I mentioned.

Though as I said, I agree with pretty much all you've written here.

I'd bet you and me probably have an almost common basis on those topics assuming we're both decent people (which I am ). It just happens that I didn't get there from a religious start.

I'm sure the same would probably be true with this girl if you for some reason asked what she thinks about forgiveness and whatnot.
#168
Quote by kthxbi
here brother - i'm not trying to beat you up about it. i know you were just trying to be nice, and i know you wanna hang out with her because you genuinely do like her as a person. but right now, you have a clash in interests which is going to end up FAR more painful for her than it is for you, and you've gotta take that into serious consideration with your actions.

i'm sure you're a great guy, but right here, there is no easy option for you out of the two you're allowing yourself. it's a 'lesser of two evils' situation. you've ruled out option three which is a relationship with her - for whatever reason.

the option is either to hurt her feelings a little maybe, but allow her the ability to get over you, or to probably cause her many months of confusion and upset by (accidentally) leading her on.


Thanks for the pats on the back, although I didn't come here to get an ego boost. I can agree it's probably better that I distance myself somewhat, in physical presence and conversations to her.

(Concerns I do have are that she might see it as a bit of a contradiction, as in "One minute you're saying this, the next you're saying this, also she invited me to a Terry Gilliam movie marathon this weekend at the place of firstly referred to mutual friend, I asked her after both incidents if she'd prefer if I didn't come, but she indicated she still (for whatever reason) 'wants' me to come. Should the advice given here change my attending or not?)

But very largely, you've answered my question. Thanks for all who answered.
Last edited by jesse music at May 29, 2013,
#169
Just make sure you have defined boundaries in your relationship so that there is no reason for her to interpret anything as being more than friendly. Especially if she really likes you, everything you do which might otherwise be innocuous could seem like something else to her because she wants it to be more than friendly. So be very clear with her about where you stand and if you have to distance yourself in order to do this, don't worry about hurting her feelings.
cat
#170
Quote by Todd Hart
Well that slightly dashed all my naive hopes. You're right though, I'm glad they're shaken. As I said, I have a few months now where I'm unlikely to see her, and that'll either confirm something in us or prove that it's just a passing state. I'm not particularly looking forward to having to no-one to chase again, but it's probably best in the long run. Thank you.


Sounds to me like you've made an eternal problem out of what should be a one off conversation.

The whole 'religious person with non-religious person' problem that you foresee doesn't exist. I've dated quite infused religious people (the person I'm currently smitten with is pretty enthusiastically Christian) and I can tell you that in young-adult relationships the situation is only an issue if one of the partners makes it into one. In this case, that person is you.

Now, from your post I can't tell if you do like her romantically or if you don't. If you do then it's quite pathetic to let your religion get in the way, if you don't then you're lying to yourself by saying her lack of religion is the issue (though, of course, it isn't. The issue is your religion, not her lack of one). However, if you don't like her then why on Earth have you been leading her on? If you've been buying her presents - strawberries and chocolates, no less! - and taking her out and telling her you like her then it's clear that she's going to assume you're interested, and if you're not then I'm afraid you have been leading her on.

Although, I'm not entirely sure what you want advice on. If you want advice on how to keep her as a friend then it would be to stop treating her like she's a box on the census, and stop leading her on. If you want advice on how to proceed romantically then it'd be to stop thinking about her like she's a demographic.

Also, if she likes you and you don't then the only kind thing to do is to make sure you see each other a lot less: preferably not at all. It's literally the only way to get over infatuation.


I'm not submitting that a religious person and non-religious person can't get along, hell, they can get along, as I think I've seen, very very well. I would just question the situation of the romantic relationship between religious and non-religious.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean here by romantically (chances are we have slightly different conceptions), I would say that I do have a capacity to become romantically involved with her, probably moreso than any other person I've met. I would also just question whether it is or is not pathetic to let my worldview get in the way or not. As awesome as I find her to be, I would not say that she is more important than the world and life's purpose (as I see it to be, maybe you find such a claim arrogant? If so, sorry)

I wouldn't agree that I'm treating her as a box on a census. To me, this view of religion is one that sees people only affected by it on Sunday mornings, not as a intrinsic and thoughtful part of your lives. We've discussed each others worldview, and I believe, mutually respect each others worldview.

I guess I was simply asking for advice on how to proceed given the current situation and history, and I feel that the question has been answered mostly pretty well for me
#171
Quote by jesse music
I'm not submitting that a religious person and non-religious person can't get along, hell, they can get along, as I think I've seen, very very well. I would just question the situation of the romantic relationship between religious and non-religious.


I know, and I'm telling you it's a silly concern, unless you're particularly planning children and marriage at this point. I've been in romantic relationships with religious people and they've worked out fine; in fact my longest and most successful relationship was with someone who was quite highly religious, all while I am, well, I suppose an antitheist. Relationships are all about conflict, and consolidating conflict.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean here by romantically (chances are we have slightly different conceptions), I would say that I do have a capacity to become romantically involved with her, probably moreso than any other person I've met. I would also just question whether it is or is not pathetic to let my worldview get in the way or not. As awesome as I find her to be, I would not say that she is more important than the world and life's purpose (as I see it to be, maybe you find such a claim arrogant? If so, sorry)


I wouldn't say you arrogant, I'd say you're misguided. Apart from our own minds other people are all we have; they're all we'll ever have - people take precedence over everything else. I'm not going to turn this into a religious debate, but do you seriously believe that the answer to a single question is more important than a person you love?

I wouldn't agree that I'm treating her as a box on a census. To me, this view of religion is one that sees people only affected by it on Sunday mornings, not as a intrinsic and thoughtful part of your lives. We've discussed each others worldview, and I believe, mutually respect each others worldview.


Not at all: you can be the most devout believer you like, it's still only an issue to your interactions with people if you make it one. If you feel that your religious belief is more important than your friends are then fine, more power to you, but I can promise it's going to cause larger problems than this current one.

I think you should just take time apart from this girl - it's only fair on her. And it has to be comprehensive: no movie nights, no strawberries and chocolate; as much as possible no talking or seeing each other. It's pretty much the only way to cure unrequited love.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
Last edited by Todd Hart at May 29, 2013,
#172
Quote by jesse music
We've discussed each others worldview, and I believe, mutually respect each others worldview.

I can no longer even fathom what you're problem is then. If you're romantically interested in her, go for it. If you're not, chill out a bit.

Though to be honest, I can see you being one of those "no sex before marriage" types, and that'll probably screw you over anyway.
#173
Quote by Todd Hart
I know, and I'm telling you it's a silly concern, unless you're particularly planning children and marriage at this point. I've been in romantic relationships with religious people and they've worked out fine; in fact my longest and most successful relationship was with someone who was quite highly religious, all while I am, well, I suppose an antitheist. Relationships are all about conflict, and consolidating conflict.


I wouldn't say you arrogant, I'd say you're misguided. Apart from our own minds other people are all we have; they're all we'll ever have - people take precedence over everything else. I'm not going to turn this into a religious debate, but do you seriously believe that the answer to a single question is more important than a person you love?


Unless we seek total acceptance of all truths, which I would say is untenable, I'd think everyone with an ideology (and who doesn't have even a faint one?), but certainly those with a thought out one, would find those who hold other word views misguided, or at least that they ideology is (at least in some parts) wrong.
That's an important point, and one I don't necessarily have an answer to. I guess maybe the only thing is that while certainly love may be, or feel, very real and eternal at this stage, multiple years down the track I'd imagine it's unlikely still being (and having been) eternal and eternally omnipotent. It could have died a few times, been resurrected or resuscitated etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, the person you fall in love with, you fall out love with them sometimes as well, and if things deteriorate from there, are they indeed still the person you love? It's not a far stretch of (my) imagination to see that previous love turned to bitterness either.

Quote by Todd Hart

Not at all: you can be the most devout believer you like, it's still only an issue to your interactions with people if you make it one. If you feel that your religious belief is more important than your friends are then fine, more power to you, but I can promise it's going to cause larger problems than this current one.


I wouldn't seek to tender religious belief as more important than people, or people more important than religious belief, I think they are both part and parcel, which, quite possibly I've made them part and parcel, I can admit that.

Quote by Todd Hart

I think you should just take time apart from this girl - it's only fair on her. And it has to be comprehensive: no movie nights, no strawberries and chocolate; as much as possible no talking or seeing each other. It's pretty much the only way to cure unrequited love.


Fair enough, but no movie night this weekend even if she's asked me twice to still come? (just attempting to clarify)
Last edited by jesse music at May 29, 2013,
#174
Quote by jesse music
That's an important point, and one I don't necessarily have an answer to. I guess maybe the only thing is that while certainly love may be, or feel, very real and eternal at this stage, multiple years down the track I'd imagine it's unlikely still being (and having been) eternal and eternally omnipotent. It could have died a few times, been resurrected or resuscitated etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, the person you fall in love with, you fall out love with them sometimes as well, and if things deteriorate from there, are they indeed still the person you love? It's not a far stretch of (my) imagination to see that previous love turned to bitterness either.


Love can fall apart, certainly, but the fact that it's transitory doesn't make it any less worth while.

The question you need to ask yourself is do you like her romantically or not? If you do then stop worrying about what might happen in five years time and start writing poems to go with the strawberries and chocolate. If you don't like her romantically then you need to make this unfalteringly clear, because otherwise she will continue to like you and the inevitable fall will hurt her even more. I can't promise you that you'll be able to keep her as a friend. I wish I could.

I wouldn't seek to tender religious belief as more important than people, or people more important than religious belief, I think they are both part and parcel, which, quite possibly I've made them part and parcel, I can admit that.


Mhmm. This concern me, but I suppose this isn't the place.

Fair enough, but no movie night this weekend even if she's asked me twice to still come? (just attempting to clarify)


I'm not going to tell you what to do, from what I gather this thread is about inspiring questions in people and leaving them to answer them for themselves. I'm telling you, however, that if you continue to see her - especially in these somewhat romantically inclined situations - then she's not going to stop liking you. But then again, if you continue to do these things, and put your ideological beliefs aside, then who knows, you might end up having fun. You seem inclined to remain uninterested, though, and if that's true then the only really fair thing is to stop hinting towards romance.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#175
Yeah dude. I knew a girl liked me, I wasn't really in to her romantically.

I slept with her. The fall out from that was insane. And now I'm living with her next year...

Don't end up like me.
#176
Is it God that disagrees, or God's fan club? That's the only thing you should be debating. Fact is that you're already committed to this girl, and she's committed to you. You're making romantic gestures, and good ones at that. It doesn't have to be meant to be in order to be, and this is. You make each other happy. You're already in a relationship. Saying that you aren't will only hurt you both. Accept it, and accept the happiness that comes with it.

And enter into an eternal competition as to who's right about religion, you'll have plenty to talk about and neither of you will ever be able to prove yourselves right.

There's no dilemma beyond the one you're creating. Hug the girl, tell the girl religion matters to you, but so does she. Kiss the girl. Live happily ever after.
#177
Quote by willT08
Yeah dude. I knew a girl liked me, I wasn't really in to her romantically.

I slept with her. The fall out from that was insane. And now I'm living with her next year...

Don't end up like me.


We are scary similar, right down to the 'living with her next year' part.

But yeah, what Colohue said.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#179
I was about to share a similar story (only just kissin' no bangin') but then I realized it's really not similar.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#181
I've never regretted any of my sexual encounters. They're all special to me.


Okay, not really but none of them were bad.
#182
i regret several of mine

when i get hammered awful things happen
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#183
I've only had one sexual partner and that's with my boyfriend, I dont regret sleeping with him though.
STಠ_ಠ
#184
Quote by Acϵ♠
i regret several of mine

when i get hammered awful things happen


Thank goodness. I was gonna say something like this, then I was afraid of coming off as a drunken whore. Cheers, Ace.

R.I.P. Jeb
07/31/08

FREEZER BURN s YELLOWFRIZBEE
#185
Hey guys, I have a thing I want your opinions on. My school year ended a little over a week ago, and near the end I became sort of interested in this girl. I don't know exactly why, but we started talking a lot more than we had before near the end of the year. I felt like I was picking up on a couple of cues that she may have been/may be interested in me as well (she laughed at my stupid jokes, brought up stuff in conversation that we'd talked about randomly a few days before, made eye contact, small stuff like that, and maybe more but I'm awful at reading body language). Last week I texted her a couple of times and it went pretty well: lots of her texts had "haha"s and exclamation points; she asked me questions occasionally; at the end of the first conversation I told her I had to leave to go bowling and she was like "Good luck!"; her replies that day were spaced out over a lot of time, which makes me think she may have been busy, but she didn't mention she was and she texted me anyway (which must be a good sign, right?); during our last conversation, she was out somewhere or something for the first part of it but still responded fairly quickly; and at the end of that conversation, she didn't reply for a couple of hours, then was like "Oh sorry, I'm at a friends house haha" (just to be clear, I didn't text her again like "You there?" or anything, she just sent that without me texting her again) and continued what we'd been talking about and I replied but she didn't reply after that. I think that all that seems pretty positive, but she hasn't texted me first at all since, so I'm kind of worrying about it. I was thinking about texting her again tomorrow since it's been a week since I've talked to her, but I'm worried about always being the one to initiate. Anyway, what do you guys think? Does it sound like she's into me, and should I text her tomorrow?
#186
People get so caught up in texting, it's ridiculous.


Call her. Ask to go out this weekend. **** it.
#187
Do you lack vocal chords?
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#188
Quote by ManInTheBox14
Hey guys, I have a thing I want your opinions on. My school year ended a little over a week ago, and near the end I became sort of interested in this girl. I don't know exactly why, but we started talking a lot more than we had before near the end of the year. I felt like I was picking up on a couple of cues that she may have been/may be interested in me as well (she laughed at my stupid jokes, brought up stuff in conversation that we'd talked about randomly a few days before, made eye contact, small stuff like that, and maybe more but I'm awful at reading body language). Last week I texted her a couple of times and it went pretty well: lots of her texts had "haha"s and exclamation points; she asked me questions occasionally; at the end of the first conversation I told her I had to leave to go bowling and she was like "Good luck!"; her replies that day were spaced out over a lot of time, which makes me think she may have been busy, but she didn't mention she was and she texted me anyway (which must be a good sign, right?); during our last conversation, she was out somewhere or something for the first part of it but still responded fairly quickly; and at the end of that conversation, she didn't reply for a couple of hours, then was like "Oh sorry, I'm at a friends house haha" (just to be clear, I didn't text her again like "You there?" or anything, she just sent that without me texting her again) and continued what we'd been talking about and I replied but she didn't reply after that. I think that all that seems pretty positive, but she hasn't texted me first at all since, so I'm kind of worrying about it. I was thinking about texting her again tomorrow since it's been a week since I've talked to her, but I'm worried about always being the one to initiate. Anyway, what do you guys think? Does it sound like she's into me, and should I text her tomorrow?


Never have I seen such deep analysis of text game. Agreed with blake, the worst she can say is "No".
R.I.P. Jeb
07/31/08

FREEZER BURN s YELLOWFRIZBEE
#189
It's for that very reason that I refuse to text people socially. It's helpful for addresses and dates, but I have a no text rule.

I find it helps flex your socializing muscle as well, people these days become so introverted because of it.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#190
Alright, I'll definitely consider calling her. I'd already thought about it a bit (not least because I know that you guys in this thread are big on calling as opposed to texting), I'm just nervous about it because I have no idea what she'll say, and I've never heard of anyone my age (we're in high school, I'm 17, she's 16 and a grade younger than me, if it matters) calling in a situation like this (I'd rather talk to her in person anyway, but I won't get a chance for that since school's over now). Based on all that stuff, though, does it sound like she's interested in me at all?
#191
whatever. stop over thinking it and "considering" it (we all know that's a cop out). Grow a pair. Call her tomorrow and just ask her to get lunch or something and hang out some time over the weekend.
#192
Quote by ManInTheBox14
Based on all that stuff, though, does it sound like she's interested in me at all?


You answered this yourself in the earlier posts. Look at the bright side, it's harder to get rejected when it's more personal. Even if she didn't like you, your chances of success are higher if you call, and once you get a date you check out how much she's into you for yourself.

You can't fake enthusiasm.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#193
I will post my advice in here too: call her, it takes 5 minutes, she's a 16 year old girl so she'll think you're hot shit, and then you can text. For bigger things calling is mo' betta. Texting isn't a bad thing once things get going but in the early stages you gotta quit pussyfooting around and be direct or things get lame and confusing and it ends up being a perpetual "does she yada yada yada" and you get caught up in pointless texting habits that more than likely mean nothing.

So yeah, do it, you seem moderately confident that she kinda likes you so test that confidence out.
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#194
Quote by blake1221
People get so caught up in texting, it's ridiculous.


Call her. Ask to go out this weekend. **** it.

If people read that much into my texting habits they would think that I despise them. In reality I'm just lazy.
#195
Yeah, it takes me hours to text somebody back usually because I look at it and i'm like "ok i'll respond to this in a minute" and then I don't until I get reeeally bored or something
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#196
I still actually haven't texted my brother back after wishing me good luck on getting radiation. So that pretty much sums up how attentive I can be. Don't read too much into texts, they are a really shitty manner of getting a read off somebody (especially by looking at response times, there are so many reasons that can influence that). Just use them for business or for setting up plans with people that I already know well & see often.

If you are getting to know someone, especially if you want a romantic relationship, you shouldn't be texting up a storm. Call them to set up a proper setting to do so.

So I'm basically just reiterating what has already been said. O well bored.
#197
I text without thinking at tremendous speeds. Gets me into trouble sometimes.

Although getting the first text of the day from a girl you're thinking about a lot is a good feeling. It's always good to know you've engineered a situation where she's openly keen on coming to you rather than being chased.
#198
Quote by willT08
Yeah dude. I knew a girl liked me, I wasn't really in to her romantically.

I slept with her. The fall out from that was insane. And now I'm living with her next year...

Don't end up like me.

Can you explain this to me further? Why would you sleep with a girl if there is no chance that you will be into her romantically? Are you a slut?

I've had two girls who liked me this year, but I turned them down because I didn't like them. I did not sleep with them.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#199
People do weird things under the influence of potential vagina. If you're open that you have no romantic interest it can just be a bit of fun. If not, it's kind of a dick move and very easy to regret.
#200
Im awful at texting. I avoid it when I can. I prefer in person or voice.

Quote by Neo Evil11
Can you explain this to me further? Why would you sleep with a girl if there is no chance that you will be into her romantically? Are you a slut?

I've had two girls who liked me this year, but I turned them down because I didn't like them. I did not sleep with them.

For sex and pleasure. Whether or not that makes one a slut is another topic.

Following your original topic:

Unless you personally have an issue with it yourself, as long as you are open and honest in your intentions, there is nothing wrong with having sex with a woman you are not romantically interested in.

Now if you have a situation where she is romantically interested in you, but you have been open and honest of your intentions, then the responsibility ultimately lies on her. However, even though responsibility lies on her, any consequences that come from it will be inevitably shared.

Overall, I would advise to avoid sexing ladies that are romantically interested in you when you are not romantically interested in them, even if you have done your end and have been open and honest. More times than not, no matter how convincing they may be that they'll be fine, its okay, etc, this is simply not the case in the end. Just messy and not worth it.


EDIT: Oh wow, how rude of me! Rejoice! All hail the new Relationship Thread! Hello and welcome to all and may we have a prosperous and advice filled time here
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Last edited by yellowfrizbee at May 30, 2013,