#1
Article

While our consulate in Benghazi was attacked during the night of September 11 of last year, our fearless leader was allegedly hiding away somewhere getting “high as a kite” on cocaine. This is the speculation of Kevin DuJan, a self-described “gay conservative political analyst” writing for a publication called HillBuzz. DuJan states that his claim, which he appears to make based on knowledge and experience of drug addicts, explains the president being missing for most of the evening during the attack on Benghazi.

DuJan explains his theory, writing, “If you’ve ever known anyone who is a drug addict, you’d see it’s obvious that Barack Obama was high on cocaine the night of Benghazi; it is the only logical explanation for his disappearance and the White House’s refusal to comment on what he was doing at the time. Since this was a night of great crisis for our country, the only logical reason that the White House won’t explain where the president was is if this man was high as a kite on illegal narcotics at the time.”

Serious allegation.


DuJan also suggests the president sought out gay entertainment when he left the next day for Las Vegas, writing that Obama was, “jetting off to fabulous Las Vegas for a fun-and-games fundraiser event he had scheduled there (where, it also should be noted, not only Chippendales but also Thunder From Down Under male revues are regularly held…which certainly establishes the appeal of heading to Las Vegas instead of managing a national crisis back in Washington for this particular president).


You're welcome Pit.
#3
No no, keep reading. It all makes sense.


Suggesting again the gay theme as well as cocaine use, DuJan wrote, “After reading Lowry’s article, my good friend Justine in California emailed me to ask whether I thought Obama was having sex with Reggie Love during the “missing hours” and if that’s where he was. Justine was an actress and model in Los Angeles back in the late-1970s and ran in the same circles as friends of closeted gay men like Rock Hudson…so her first instinct with Obama and Benghazi is that he and Reggie Love were getting at it and Obama didn’t want to be disturbed.
#4
Inb4 "IMPEACH OBAMA!!!"

(Edited. Apparently UG has an all-caps-filter, and automatically lower-cased everything.)
Quote by Lt. Shinysides
man, I'm so sad I made this thread now after seeing those shake shack burgers. I would buy an extra just to fuck it while I eat its siblings. then i'd eat that one too.


I am so sorry for my mother's "escapades"...
Last edited by sideslick at May 27, 2013,
#6
This is stupid even for Pit Standards.
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#7
I think the news media is just trolling now days
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
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#9
Real Presidents huff oxiclean for that sheen to clean to make it Oxiclean!
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#11
The Daily Mail were having a go at Cameron today for going to Ibiza whilst the country was in a "terrorist crisis".
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#13
I'm not paying attention to the article, but you'd be surprised at how many presidents did hard drugs in the white house.

Hell during prohibition the prez was having moonshine delivered there.

My source is the history channel, mostly the show 10 facts you didn't know about historic figures. That show is actually pretty damn good at telling me things I really didn't know. Or was it discovery channel...either way.
Last edited by stratkat at May 27, 2013,
#15
Quote by stratkat
I'm not paying attention to the article, but you'd be surprised at how many presidents did hard drugs in the white house.

Hell during prohibition the prez was having moonshine delivered there.

My source is the history channel, mostly the show 10 facts you didn't know about historic figures. That show is actually pretty damn good at telling me things I really didn't know. Or was it discovery channel...either way.

trust me, i watch the history channel
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#16
Ah man, I love the logic employed there. 'My cat Mr Tinkle has black and white patchwork fur' - 'cows have black and white patchwork fur' - 'therefor Mr Tinkle is a cow'

I'm always surprised by how much conservatives in America go after Obama, it seems to go beyond political objections, they honestly and sincerely personally hate him. Let's not beat around the bush, it's because he's black. A white democrat president wouldn't get anywhere near this amount of shit.
#17
Quote by EqualOfHeaven
Ah man, I love the logic employed there. 'My cat Mr Tinkle has black and white patchwork fur' - 'cows have black and white patchwork fur' - 'therefor Mr Tinkle is a cow'

I'm always surprised by how much conservatives in America go after Obama, it seems to go beyond political objections, they honestly and sincerely personally hate him. Let's not beat around the bush, it's because he's black. A white democrat president wouldn't get anywhere near this amount of shit.


You don't know a ****ing thing about Mr Tinkle, you goddamn assclown! He's a cow if he wants to be, don't belittle his wants!
#18
One Big Ass Mistake America
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#19
This explains why he didn't have them fly some jets over there.

Oh no the fact that that's a ******ed idea explains why they didn't do it.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#20
Quote by Morphogenesis26
You don't know a ****ing thing about Mr Tinkle, you goddamn assclown! He's a cow if he wants to be, don't belittle his wants!


Oh, but I will belittle his wants! His wants can do a running jump off a freeway bridge. That furry little ****er is no more a cow than my **** is a canary.
#21
Quote by Burgery
trust me, i watch the history channel

haha...they do have some shows that are flat out ridiculous, like ancient aliens, but this one seems legit.

Through wikipedia/google I couldn't find too many presidents who've directly admitted to drugs or at least cannabis, and that's only one's that admitted it publicly.
#22
Quote by stratkat
haha...they do have some shows that are flat out ridiculous, like ancient aliens, but this one seems legit.

Through wikipedia/google I couldn't find too many presidents who've directly admitted to drugs or at least cannabis, and that's only one's that admitted it publicly.


'I did not inhale'
#23
as much as i think this is all someones shit that just plopped out their ass, i really dont care about his personal life. hes my president and his job is to make decisions for my country. as long as he does that, im fine. the only problem is he doesnt get to chose whether or not his decision comes into act. also, think about how many people he has to bribe and convince to agree with what he wants done. nobody wants change when you have no need for it. i think all of congress needs to be wiped clean and filled with fresh people who actually have to make a difference to get paid. keep obama, i like him.
#26
I'm sure most recent presidents have done coke, you're delusional if you don't think big time CEOs and politicians aren't smashing lines in their limos all the time. But that article is ridiculous and all speculation
RIP RICHARD DUNN
#28
****ing WHAT?

"We don't know where he was, therefore he was snorting coke." "He planned a fundraiser in Vegas, therefore he is gay."

This is the greatest journalism.
ಠ_ಠ