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#1
Hi team,

So ive recently taken up a new post as a music teacher at a primary school. I have intermediate skills, mainly playing the uke these days but i can play guitar also.

I interviewd for the job and was happy to teach kids guitar up to an intermediate level - no probs.

HOWEVER, my problem is that the school has just opened a secondary section and they had an open night where the vice principal sold me as the best electric guitarist since jimi hendrix and in the newsletter handed out he has described me as an expert guitarist!!!
Im shitting myself.

i will have to perform for the school in Septmeber when it starts and im in desperate need of songs to play that might make them think im ok at playing the guitar. I can play chords and sing no problem but i have a feeling that secondary boys will want electric guitar riffs....

Any well would be HUGELY appreciated.....
Cheers
Chris
#2
Just tell the vice principal he made a mistake.
Gear:

Gibson 2005 Les Paul Standard
Fender Road Worn Strat w/ Noiseless pickups
Marshall JCM 2000 401C
Marshall Vintage Modern 2266
Marshall 1960A cab (Dave Hill from Slade's old cab)
Ibanez TS9DX
EHX Little Big Muff
Freshman Acoustic
#3
OR

you can just tell em you're not such an amazing guitarist and you wouldn't have to lie and possibly let it blow up in your face.
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
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#4
Wow your bringing this into the PIT,......AND claiming someone considers you the best guitarist since Jimi Hendrix(who was sloppy as shit by the way!)...and you have no songs to play and apparently just play chords and sing and shit etc?

Your sir are ****ed! at least learn some easy tapping lines to wow some clueless people.
Last edited by WaltTheWerewolf at May 29, 2013,
#5
Tune everyone knows, and people that don't play will think is very hard.

Plug In Baby
#7
Paint yourself black, play a lil Jimi, then set the vice principal on fire and pose over him
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#8
Tell the headmaster he's fatally misunderstood what you're about, but it's not his fault because he's so old and out of touch. Then explain that you're actually a dubstep producer and that's what the kids are into these days.


Either that or just do some pentatonic wankery.
#9
Quote by captainsnazz
Then explain that you're actually a dubstep producer and that's what the kids are into these days.
Make sure that you add you only do Tribal, Deep stuff so only the really cool kids will get it.

If he doesn't understand, check whether the principal even compreses hard
#11
Or even worse, a House DJ.

TS, do the kids at this school play Disclosure on their phones? If they do, quit.
#12
Quote by willT08
Tune everyone knows, and people that don't play will think is very hard.

Plug In Baby

As much as I love that song (and have a unhealthy obssession with the band) not everybody knows it
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle
#13
Yeah you should really be honest and explain that you're at a more intermediate skill level, otherwise you might end up being asked to teach people who are just as good or better than you.

Either that, or practice loads and become awesome.
#14
Downplay your skills, but play something you're really good which sounds impressive but is simple (one-string tapping? :shrug, so the kids who know what they're doing would hopefully think you're humble, while the kids who don't will think you're awesome.

Worst case scenario is the kids who know what they're doing think you suck, but who cares what they think anyway because kids are stupid.
#15
learn some Hendrix and buy some kiwi.
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#16
Quote by cmeek2
Hi team,

So ive recently taken up a new post as a music teacher at a primary school. I have intermediate skills, mainly playing the uke these days but i can play guitar also.

I interviewd for the job and was happy to teach kids guitar up to an intermediate level - no probs.

HOWEVER, my problem is that the school has just opened a secondary section and they had an open night where the vice principal sold me as the best electric guitarist since jimi hendrix and in the newsletter handed out he has described me as an expert guitarist!!!
Im shitting myself.

i will have to perform for the school in Septmeber when it starts and im in desperate need of songs to play that might make them think im ok at playing the guitar. I can play chords and sing no problem but i have a feeling that secondary boys will want electric guitar riffs....

Any well would be HUGELY appreciated.....
Cheers
Chris

Tune all the strings to E.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#17
Accept that your life has become a sitcom and get your best friend Plucky to pull the fire alarm right before you have to go on.

Also, tie in some B-story involving something which will be ruined in the fire sprinklers much to the chagrin of your stuffy sister Stacey.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#18
Give us an example of your skillz.
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#19
You should probably kill your VP.

Honestly. Who does that? Every time they hire a new writing teacher does he go around saying "They're the best writer since Walt Whitman!"
Every time they hire a new physics teacher, does he say "They're the 2nd coming of Einstein!"

I mean real. Dude sounds like a douche.
But seriously just tell him you oversold your abilities and any time he uses your name to promote anything to pass it through you first so you're not set up for failure by other people's words.
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Last edited by King Of Suede at May 29, 2013,
#20
Quote by King Of Suede
Every time they hire a new chemistry teacher, does he say "They're the 2nd coming of Einstein!".


wut

TS Can you not play solos
#21
Quote by RealUnrealRob
wut

wassup
Quote by Banjocal
sht up u flthy librl foogit stfu u soo mad n butthurdt ur ass is an analpocolypse cuz ur so gay "my ass hrts so mcuh" - u. your rectally vexed n anlly angushed lolo go bck 2 asslnd lolol
#22
I don't care if it was a joke, I just really need to make it clear that Einstein was a physicist and not a chemist.
#23
Nobody here cares.
Gear:

Gibson 2005 Les Paul Standard
Fender Road Worn Strat w/ Noiseless pickups
Marshall JCM 2000 401C
Marshall Vintage Modern 2266
Marshall 1960A cab (Dave Hill from Slade's old cab)
Ibanez TS9DX
EHX Little Big Muff
Freshman Acoustic
#25
Can you really make a living just teaching kids open chords, not how they're built, the notes that make them? Sign me up bro. Though I expect you teach them how to string/tune/care for the guitars too.

I'd say practice some more, if you're better at guitar and know more of a variety of stuff, you'll be able to keep customers longer.
Last edited by stratkat at May 29, 2013,
#26
Quote by stratkat
Can you really make a living just teaching kids open chords, not how they're built, the notes that make them? Sign me up bro. Though I expect you teach them how to string/tune/care for the guitars too.

He works in a primary school. You think 8 year olds care how to build chords?
#27
Quote by willT08
He works in a primary school. You think 8 year olds care how to build chords?

....They should....

We call it elementary school, my bad, I wouldn't want to deal with 8 year olds and music. I didn't read it closely enough, my bad.

Anyway play freebird TS...or whatever you want honestly, if it sounds good you're fine.
Last edited by stratkat at May 29, 2013,
#28
Quote by willT08
He works in a primary school. You think 8 year olds care how to build chords?


I'd say so. No less than 12-16 year olds. Primary school is the only place I got taught music well. As soon as I got to secondary school music lessons were nothing more than writing out the lyrics of Culture Club songs.

Anyway, TS, just make light of what the head teacher said and just have some confidence in yourself.
#30
-pick a random Spawn of Possession song
-practice it 5 hours a day every day
-play it
-????
-br00tal profit\m/
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#32
Quote by WaltTheWerewolf
Jimi Hendrix(who was sloppy as shit by the way!)


yeahyeahyeah, shit guitarist i know, pfft. He didn't have any chops
#33
Ok well, if you have until september, I wouldn't freak out too much. Just pick some songs man and learn them. It's not like you gotta do all this shit for next week.
#34
Just and sing as many well know songs as you know, that shit is more impressive to most people than technical non sense anyway. If the principle calls you on not melting any faces explain to him that when you volunteer someone else for something then you may end up looking stupid occasionally.
SMILE!
#35
Just tell them that too much is being expected of you. Christ, it's not that difficult to work that out.
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
#36
Looking at this, I may be able to be a guitar teacher in a school if you can do it only knowing a few chords. I thought you might have to know a few songs and techniques at the very least but wow, I over estimated the skills the job needs.

Anyway, to your subject rather than laughing at you. Play 'Entrails Ripped from a Virgins ****' or 'Satan My Master', really freak those people out that their kids are going to be in a school with "That monster!!!"
Go out with a bang, if you're struggling to even play anything you're probably not going to last long in the job anyway.
When I was eleven I broke the patio window and my mother sued me... She's always been a very aggressive litigator.
#37
Learn n teach a-punk great energetic indie song
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle
#38
Don't do anything; no one expects you to be a true virtuoso. Anyone who doesn't know anything about music will be impressed anyway and anyone who does know about music won't be no matter what.

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#39
Are all of you illiterate fuckwits or what?

He's not a guitar teacher, you couldn't go do his job. He's the Music teacher of the school.
#40
Teaching things helps you learn them better yourself. It'll be a very very steep learning curve but that's just teaching.

You'll be fine.
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