#1
So a friend of my GF's recently looked on her BF's phone and saw that he was messaging women who were 50+ years old. When confronted, this dude tells her he has this fetish: He messages these girls, doesn't meet up with them, but instead masturbates while taking a shit.

Now I've seen some effed up shit on the internet, but I've NEVER even heard of something like that. It's obviously a cop-out for cheating, but god damn is it a horrible cover

Just thought I'd share. Maybe someone else out there knows his feel. I just wanted to hear your guys' thoughts on it.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


#4
Does that mean he finishes all over the bathroom floor? What does he clean up first?
#5
Quote by devourke
Does that mean he finishes all over the bathroom floor? What does he clean up first?


I'm sure he uses the wad of toilet paper as a catcher technique

Works every time
#6
Whatthefuckamireading.jpg
My signature lacks content. It is, however, blue.
#7
Das some ****ed up shit. And that's coming from a guy who gets off on fat chicks.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
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To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#9
That's weird. A friend of mine displayed interest in getting a blowie while taking a dump (not on the person blowing him, into a toilet) because he thinks it'll feel "amazing". I suggested a dildo, as it is less weird.
#10
Quote by due 07
nice kinkshaming. how about who gives a ****.



what if kinkshaming is OPs kink

who's kinkshaming now
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#11
Quote by due 07
nice kinkshaming. how about who gives a ****.

Well if you think cheating is ok as long as it's a kink, then you're ****ed, buddy.

Quote by ali.guitarkid7
That's weird. A friend of mine displayed interest in getting a blowie while taking a dump (not on the person blowing him, into a toilet) because he thinks it'll feel "amazing". I suggested a dildo, as it is less weird.

I've heard of a blumpkin before, which is what you describe, but for some reason the aspect of doing that only after messaging and recieving messages from 50 year old ladies just makes it way more weird.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


#13
Quote by naedauuf
Well if you think cheating is ok as long as it's a kink, then you're ****ed, buddy.

who says he's cheating?
#14
masturbating while taking a shit?

That's pretty gay
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#15
I'm not 100% sure he's covering up though. I mean that's not something you make up so easily. But definitely weird for sure. Probably why he didnt tell anyone. Sure he would appreciate you telling the internet.

Not bad. But this still doesn't top the brad's random ejaculation thread.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
Quote by Joshua Garcia
I'm not 100% sure he's covering up though. I mean that's not something you make up so easily. But definitely weird for sure. Probably why he didnt tell anyone. Sure he would appreciate you telling the internet.

Not bad. But this still doesn't top the brad's random ejaculation thread.

I, should've elaborated that the guy is a total dick. Berates his GF in front of people, and I'm sure at home, too. Never helps take care of her kid, they live in the same house. Ditches her to be alone with the kid 100% of the time, doesn't even hang out with her at all.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


#17
Quote by Joshua Garcia

Not bad. But this still doesn't top the brad's random ejaculation thread.


link, You can't say something like this without a link
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#18
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
link, You can't say something like this without a link


go dig it up, it is worth it i assure you.

#19
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
link, You can't say something like this without a link
But everyone knows. Except you because you're lame and don't like to keep up to date.

Jk babe: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1587448
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#20
Quote by Joshua Garcia
But everyone knows. Except you because you're lame and don't like to keep up to date.

Jk babe: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1587448




how does that even happen
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#21
I'm not 100% sure he's covering up though. I mean that's not something you make up so easily./QUOTE]
Nah bro, he's full of shit. If he had the balls to meet up with these 50+ women (who possibly don't exist), he would. Either way, TS, if your GF's BFF (if I have the story right) is conveying her BF's story correctly, she should dump that creep.

UNLESS, of course, he has asked her previously to do things to him while he defecates. If that is the case, then they should seek a VERY open couple's therapist or something.

If he hasn't, then she should drop him. If he has, she probably should drop him anyway because he was willing to either pull some shit like this or pull some shit that was so ridiculous that he covered it with a lie like that.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#22
I like to pretend i'm a 50yo female and sext lads whilst they shit and jerk all the while I sit on a cactus and rub my nipples
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
Last edited by slash_GNR666 at May 30, 2013,
#23
Quote by naedauuf
I, should've elaborated that the guy is a total dick. Berates his GF in front of people, and I'm sure at home, too. Never helps take care of her kid, they live in the same house. Ditches her to be alone with the kid 100% of the time, doesn't even hang out with her at all.

maybe he does that because she secretly prowls through his private correspondences.
#24
I like to pretend I'm a young lad that doesn't know he's talking to a grown man pretending to be a 50yo female while I shit and masturbate at the same time, It's preferable if they sit on a cactus and rub their nipples as well
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#25
Quote by due 07
maybe he does that because she secretly prowls through his private correspondences.

maybe, but that still makes him a dick.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


#26
Just leave him be and let him have his sick and twisted fantasies. Maybe one day, if you're lucky, he'll get hit by a bus or something.
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.