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#1
i need to acquire social skills, i have pretty much no idea how to hold a conversation with people i haven't known for years. since starting a new job it's been plaguing me. suggestions?
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#2
just do it
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#3
Practice on yourself like you do for sex
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#4
Work in a food service or customer service field, join theater, just put yourself in situations with lots of people.
#5
To the pub! Everything is easier when lubricated with alcohol.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#6
Quote by bradulator
just do it

Before you do this be sure to vigorously research how to. 5 ehow articles should be good.
#7
Quote by Todd Hart
To the pub! Everything is easier when lubricated with alcohol.

"Lubricated" was an interesting choice of word
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#9
Quote by eGraham
"Lubricated" was an interesting choice of word


Lubrication an interesting course of action.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#12
Quote by Todd Hart
Lubrication an interesting course of action.

Indeed it is
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#13
If you haven't acquired social skills by high school you never will. Sorry.
#14
I've been realizing lately how vital smiles are.

That's all I got to say about that.
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#15
Quote by eGraham
Indeed it is


Well then all is settled, and protected from chafing.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#16
Quote by Avedas
If you haven't acquired social skills by high school you never will. Sorry.


Truth
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Shit working 24 hours a week at $12 an hour makes me rich?

BOW BEFORE ME PEASANTS.
#17
Quote by Avedas
If you haven't acquired social skills by high school you never will. Sorry.


Oh shit guys one more year or I'm ****ed for life.
#18
Quote by slipknot5678
Oh shit guys one more year or I'm ****ed for life.

Same. Didn't realize we were the same age.

If we're both ****ed we might as well **** eachother, since it would totally be legal and stuff.
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#19
Ask them a lot of questions on themselves. People like talking about themselves.
#20
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
Same. Didn't realize we were the same age.

If we're both ****ed we might as well **** eachother, since it would totally be legal and stuff.


I think we just learned something about each other we never thought possible before.
#21
Ask them how they've been/what they are up to/how big of dick they have/what they're studying in school etc

Just be easy going ya dig?
#22
you gotta put yourself out there and accept that you might embarrass yourself. and if you do most people won't for real give a shit or judge you and if they do then they probably aren't worth your time.

just find someone who shares common ground with you and talk to them and you'll get better over time, it won't happen over night.
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Lil B, the young based god, has the ability to create music so profound, that others around him cannot even comprehend his magnificent verbal progressive nature.

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^ oh hey y'all females...welcome !
#23
I used to think that I had poor social skills; but I finally realized that I actually do have good social skills and can hold a conversation- I just HATE doing it. Most people are just a ****ing bore to talk to. And you can't even fully be yourself around most people because many many people in everyday scenarios are a bummer. For example, there are so many widely popular comedians out there that 80% of people enjoy (ie, Louis ck, bill burr, patton oswalt, george carlin more and more), but if you ever drop a joke in the style of modern comedians, nobody can handle it or really finds it funny. And these are the same people who, if i asked them if they knew those comics, would say that they're "really good" ect ect.

So, I guess in summation- you SHOULD be able to say hello, how are you to people, ask them about their weekend, maybe offer a very short anecdote about yourself. But dont expect every conversation to be vibrant, flowery, and entertaining (obviously depends on your personal attitude, sense of humor, ect). Because for the most, in my own personal experience, most people and conversations are boring.
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#24
I thought I was just a nervous person

*puts on fedora*

actually was social anxiety
#25
Just gotta walk up to them and say... "what would you do with a million dollars?" and if they reply "2 girls", enjoy your new friendship.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#27
Quote by whywefight
I'd like to think my social skills have improved since high school

Of course they did. I don't understand why anyone would set the bar at high school, tons of people come out of their shell afterwards. In high school you're stuck in the same shithole building with the same people for a few years. As opposed to after one graduates you can, you know... do and go wherever you want. I saw a high school kid cry because she broke up with her dumbass boyfriend of two days. Yeah, lots of social skills going on in high school.
#29
http://lifehacker.com/5937348/use-the-ford-technique-to-make-small-talk-easier

Never found a use for the technique mentioned in the above link, but you may find it useful. I don't know about you guys, but you'd be surprised at how well piano and guitar is at sustaining a conversation. Then I can start talking about my musical tastes and scare them (because I apparently look too vanilla to be listening to things like "metal"). Then education, their hobbies, and if we can hit it off very well for about 5 years, their sex life.

Etc.
#30
Go buy a book on how to hold a conversation (you'll find plenty at the self-help area of any bookstore), read it, and actively apply the tips in the book. I'm dead serious, if you work at it hard enough, with a few pointers here and there, you'll make a huge change.
#32
Practice in the mirror making this face in real life: ´・ω・`

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Thanks
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#33
Quote by OVER9000VIDEOS
aniracetam

Does it actually work for you
| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ
#34
What are your interests? Try to lead with topics you can easily talk about. There was a period in my life where I hadn't quite realized it, but a great way to strike up a conversation is "do you like ---?" Or ask a general thing like "what music do you listen to/ what movies do you like?"

Picking a topic you're passionate about makes the initial icebreaker portion so much easier.

I'm a TV junky so I always ask what television shows people like. And sometimes the answer is "yeah I don't really watch tv," at which point you just move on to a different topic.

In fact, I've actually had some great conversations with people where I just explain to them what I find so fascinating about a certain show or why I dig a certain band so much. It was a crazy moment when it dawned on me that a lot of people out there are willing to listen to me rant about this kind of shit.
Balls.
Last edited by rmr024 at May 31, 2013,
#36
Quote by whywefight
I'd like to think my social skills have improved since high school

Yeah, mine as well. But I've noticed people entirely without don't really pick up afterwards. A lot of people at my office are just super awkward in every situation.
#37
Quote by Avedas
Yeah, mine as well. But I've noticed people entirely without don't really pick up afterwards. A lot of people at my office are just super awkward in every situation.

i hope this isn't true. i've got a friend who is pretty much completely clueless about how to maintain a conversation off his own steam (somea you guys might remember a thread about it from a few months back even) and have been hoping he himself would pick up on ways of conversing with people.

the whole guideline of 'ask people questions about themselves' is a good guideline but is 100% transparent when it's all you do. my friend does it himself - i ask how he's doin, how his day was, whatever. and he says 'fine . what about you?' and that's it - ya know? you gotta be able to give replies, and i think to be honest a lot of that comes to do with being confident in yourself enough to genuinely believe that anyone actually cares about you enough to care what you have to say. i know that's my friend's problem - not sure it's yours, but it's a thought.

people aren't so scary, really. and the ones that are - it ain't worth worrying about if they don't like you. generally they don't particularly like themselves.
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