Poll: Should I Quit My Band?
Poll Options
View poll results: Should I Quit My Band?
Yes
20 67%
No
0 0%
Take a break
10 33%
Voters: 30.
Jessafur
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
153 IQ
#1
Sorry if this is the wrong section, I'm fairly new here on the forums.

Anyways, I've been in my band for almost a year now and at first it started well. We were all friends and we were all pretty excited to be in the band. I am thinking of quitting for several reasons which I will list. My problems are with the bassist and the lead guitarist since the drummer has been on the same page as me for most of these issues.

1. The Genres
I was excited when we first started because we were playing classic rock, which is my favourite genre, but the bassist and the lead guitarist have been making most of our song picks and they have chosen punk song after punk song, which I really don't like.

2. Originals
I was hoping we would be writing our own stuff after our first concert, but so far I have been the only one trying to write consistently. More so, all the songs I have written, they refuse to do them saying that it would be a "cover" since they didn't help write it, and instead, they make us play a real cover. I have even offered for them to change their parts if it would make them feel better, but they say they don't want to write it.

3. Practice
It's nearing the end of my school semester and I have been studying my ass off to prepare for my finals, but they are insistent that I put the band above all else. I am really worried about my chemistry mark right now and I just don't have the time to do both. Also, they are trying to get even more practices in now than before, even though there are no upcoming gigs and school is almost over for the year.

I don't know what I should do. My heart is still in the band, and I want to make it work, but it seems like this band just isn't on the same page anymore. None of us have any problems outside the band and we don't bring them to the band if something is troubling us. If I did quit, I don't know if there would be any else to form a new band with since there aren't many musicians who play guitar and bass here (pretty shocking I know).

Anyways, thanks for the input on this. I'm really struggling to make a decision right now. And again, I am sorry if this is the wrong section, I promise I won't make that mistake again if it is.

~Jess
JimDawson
I heard you like lasers?
Join date: Feb 2011
744 IQ
#2
That sucks.

My advice would be to at least take a break because of your third reason. Your education is something which will really help you out in the long run; it's more important than staying with your band at the moment. You don't want to sacrifice your education for the sake of a band which you don't seem entirely happy with for the moment.

Also, and I don't really know the reality of the situation, but if you aren't happy with how your own compositions are being treated/not played by the band that may be a good reason to respectfully part ways with them. It's not a cover if it is written by people in the band; that just sounds ridiculous to me. IMO a band should be willing to play material from each member, but ideally songs you all had a part in writing.

If some of this didn't make sense, I apologize. It's just that I'm kind of taxed for time at the moment and doing two things at once.
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ryanbwags
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2010
514 IQ
#3
If it's not fun anymore, it's time to move on. Keep writing, get the drummer to play some of your stuff with you. Record it if you can. It may not be right away, but you will find plenty of other musicians. If there's a guitar store in the area, there will be more than enough players. Guitar players are everywhere.
You may need to think about playing bass if you do find a guitar player, and do that until you find a proper bass player. Or make friends with a guy who has a couple synths and have him record some of your bass bits.
Don't give up entirely. These guys aren't the end of it all.
Linkerman
UG's Tony Stark
Join date: Jan 2007
6,724 IQ
#4
Just thought i should point out that you can make a band by yourself with the drummer.
Look at bands like The White Stripes, Blood Red Shoes, The Black Keys, Deap Vally... They're awesome, and they only have two band members.


Seems like you share points in common with the drummer.
I was fortunate enough to find a drummer that has stuck with me from band to band for a few years now. We've always said that as long as the other keeps playing, the two of us will stick together.
If for some reason our current band falls apart, we already decided to stop trying to get other members in, and simply move on, just the two of us. We're tired of members slacking off and/or leaving the bands when they're really moving forward.

So, why not have a serious talk with the drummer and see if he's along with you for the ride?
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kilbie
Super Noob
Join date: Oct 2006
1,118 IQ
#5
I suggest you take a break from the band while you are preparing for your exams. And then, if they still want you to come back to their band after the exams, talk to them about the issues you have raised here. If you are unsatisfied with how they address the issues, then it's time to quit and look for a new band. Keep in mind that it's only a highschool band. Bands break up all the time. Quitting a band isn't really a big deal. It's a waste of time and energy to be in a band with the wrong people, so if the band isn't right for you, quit the band and find a band that suits you better.
AlanHB
Godin's Resident Groupie
Join date: Aug 2008
1,703 IQ
#7
Mate you're stuck in an amateur band with amateur problems.

1. Genre. You form the band first, the genre figures itself out. Regardless you are fighting over genre when you are effectively a cover band.

2. Originals. It is extremely rare for a band to write a song in equal parts. If this is a requirement of this band you will be forever arguing over who wrote what song rather than playing songs.

3. It is messing with your study committments. This is probably due to practicing more than one two hour block a week. Any longer and it's useless.

I'd just quit.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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CelestialGuitar
Celestial Wish Guitarist
Join date: Nov 2011
519 IQ
#8
Yeah, from the sounds of it, this band is never getting signed. You'll never make a living off this band, so it's time to just say that it was fun while it lasted and work on your exams. You'll be able to find a better band later. Also, if they're saying that an original song would still be a cover, they're stupid, in life, every musician will be in a band where they didn't write a single note of music, they've got to deal with it. Just quit, and if you're on good terms with the drummer, you can work with him again later.
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HotspurJr
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2011
191 IQ
#9
Normally I say have a civil discussion about this stuff before you quit, and if you were only complaining about the first two issues, I'd say that's what you should do. Sit down and say, "hey, I have these issues, can we resolve them?" and if not, then say, "Okay, guys, I've loved playing with you, but it's time for me to move on."

But the third issue is a kicker. School is more important than some cover band, especially a cover band that isn't really satisfying you. Their unwillingness to understand why you need to prioritize school, particularly given that it's not like the band is on some sort of track to a record deal or something, is insane.

So I'd just send a nice email saying, "Hey, guys, the reality is that school requires my focus now. I've loved playing with you guys but I can't keep doing this right now."

Make quitting JUST about that. If they come back to you later, after finals, and want you to come back, THEN you have a discussion about that other stuff and see if you can find a place where you want to be musically with them. But for now, you're quitting because of school, and don't worry about the rest of it.
2PtDescartes
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2012
10 IQ
#10
Quote by Jessafur
2. Originals
More so, all the songs I have written, they refuse to do them saying that it would be a "cover" since they didn't help write it,

If somebody said this to me I'd quit right there. What ****ing assholes.
webber243
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
346 IQ
#11
this band sounds like a disaster - original songs should always be given priority unless you plan on being a covers ie wedding/function band - quit now
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roast
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2005
1,885 IQ
#12
Quit while you're ahead - if this kinda stuff is cropping up only a year into a band, then it's a recipe for disaster.

It doesn't sound like you all have the same vision in mind - if you're not all compatible, I really don't see much point.
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chatterbox272
Registered User
Join date: May 2011
1,237 IQ
#14
Simple way of deciding whether to quit a band, the second you ask yourself the question the answer is yes.
If you have to ask yourself whether you should then your heart isn't truly in the band anymore, and there's no point being in a band you don't really want to be in. To be honest, if I were in your position (and I have been in similar ones before) I'd tell them school comes first and they can either suck it up or replace me (perks of being a trombonist and bassist who can read, I'm almost irreplaceable).
ehbacon
Reigstered User
Join date: Aug 2012
2,059 IQ
#15
ditch the band, practice alone, playing songs you like and songs you wrote. Meet other people to be in a band with over the summer. Just keep practicing and writing music, you'll get into a band worth the waiting.