#1
shivering and shining it moves through the night,
clours bluring
patterns are chasing each other,
are getting lost
but still all kept together.
smooth and soft skin ist coloured with elegance,
classy, although not fancy,
a well hidden secret, the door to a temple,
but what if the door itself keeps the secret?
enchanted to awe I follow until it fades away,
the echoing memory is all what's left and I'm begging it to stay.
Last edited by maoam93 at Jun 7, 2013,
#3
So this could have been interesting, and I know the feel when it doesn't ring out to the audience. So I'm going to show my take on this if that's okay?

shivering and shining it moves through the night,
clouds blurry - not sure if you made a mistake here clouds blurring or colors blurring?
patterns chasing each other
and getting lost
but still being kept together.
As smooth and soft as skin colored with elegance
classy, although not fancy
a well hidden secret, the door to a temple
but what if the door itself kept the secret?
enchanted to awe I follow, until it fades away
the echoing memory and all what's left as I'm begging it to stay.