Page 1 of 3
#1
I need some advice.

For the sake of simplicity, I'll just get down to what is stopping me from doing what I need to do, and spare you the explanation of who, what, when, where and why, as my story is very long and complicated.

I've had MD for a very long time now. I've seen a lot of therapists over the years, and it seems to help, but I tend to slip back into the old habits eventually, and now its become a very real danger to my well being and my quality of life. I want to tell my parents that I wish to go back into therapy and rehabilitate my psyche again, but I don't know how to talk to my parents about it because I'm afraid of them judging me for it.

Q: But wait, didn't I just say that I have been in therapy before? (I did have to tell my parents I had to go, as I was referred by my doctor) What's stopping me from telling them again?

A: The problem is the stigma attached to not having a job, which I didn't have when I was a full-time student. I'm currently seeking for a job (using a good CV of course) and I haven't heard a peep from anyone. The depression is not being caused by not having a job. However my parents constantly complain that nobody is interested in hiring me yet.

I don't want them to think that the cause of my depression is due to not having a job yet, and therefore getting one will fix everything. It won't. But I also want to avoid telling them the actual cause of the depression, because part of the problem is due to the parents themselves.

tl;dr:
Want to tell parents to go back into therapy. Worried that because I'm still job-seeking, the fact I don't have a job yet is the cause of the depression, which it isn't. How do I tell them that I need therapy without them judging me for being unemployed?

Cookies go towards users who post something helpful.
Thanks.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 25, 2013,
#2
Tell them they're dicks if they don't help. You'll still love them, but they're dicks.

But really getting all the support you can and asking for help is always the best thing you can do, even if it's really hard. And you really have the right attitude toward changing your habits and such that will help to make you more productive. Especially if CBT has helped you in the past.

Have you/have you ever been on any sort of anti-depressant? Medication isn't a fix-all but sometimes its one of the building block you need in place.

Good luck, buddeh, I know this kind of stuff can be really difficult.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#3
I've had SSRI's before. Citalopram and Sertraline in particular. But I was working in uni at the time and the side-effects of the drugs made me too ill to work, and it was right before my exams too, so I stopped taking them. My parents didn't like me taking them either.

Thanks for the insight though.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 25, 2013,
#4
It's nothing to hide about and more common than you'd like to think. I was taking Celexa for my depression and anxiety and it helped for a little while, but eventually I felt nothing from it. The best thing you can do it talk about it. Let your parents know how you are feeling. Just relax and stop putting so much pressure on yourself (easier said than done I know). Just talk to your parents, they should understand. The only way I found my way out of depression is by talking about it. It worked for me way better than any medication did. Keeping these things bottled up is one main cause (it was for me anyway). Just stay strong. It's also important to get outside once and a while, even if just walking for a while. Excersise, go hang out with your friends. Best of luck and keep strong, things will get better.
#5
People are simply people and everyone judges based on what they believe, best solution is just to ignore how people see you and do what you think is good for yourself. (although this is admittedly a very hard thing to do).

Go pick up a hobby, travel do whatever you really enjoy doing.
Often in ones madness resides genius. Thus for a mind seeped in madness, the imagination is limitless.
#8
Quote by BigHeadClan

Go pick up a hobby, travel do whatever you really enjoy doing.

For some individuals with depression, theirs manifests as anhedonic. That means nothing they can do is "really enjoyable", that's often the problem.
#9
Quote by Fuchan
How old are you if you don't me me asking OP?

I'm 21.
Quote by TooktheAtrain
For some individuals with depression, theirs manifests as anhedonic. That means nothing they can do is "really enjoyable", that's often the problem.

I was going to raise this up because I'm apathetic to pursuit. But I gave a cookie for the valiant attempt.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 25, 2013,
#10
You're their kid and if they loved you they would do whatever to help. Asking to be put back into therapy wouldn't be a problem for them if it means you getting the help you want and need. Just talk to them and I'm sure they'll help.
As for the job, I've just gotten out of that situation after several years. It got so bad for me that I lost sleep over not being contacted for a single interview. You'll eventually find something.
#12
21 come on TS get with the program its time to stop making up excuses get up off your ass n start contributing to society.
#13
Personally speaking, I'd contact your old therapist first, see if they would be willing to resume the relationship, and have them make an assessment or whatever. Then relay their professional opinion -which rightly carries weight- to your parents.
#14
Quote by captainsnazz
You'd probably be more likely to get useful responses if you actually said what MD means.

Major Depression.
Quote by TooktheAtrain
Personally speaking, I'd contact your old therapist first, see if they would be willing to resume the relationship, and have them make an assessment or whatever. Then relay their professional opinion -which rightly carries weight- to your parents.

My old therapist was actually a private hypnotherapist. I could get back in contact with her, but such appointments are kinda expensive. Its worth a shot though because she is a phenomenal therapist.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 25, 2013,
#16
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE

My old therapist was actually a private hypnotherapist. I could get back in contact with her, but such appointments are kinda expensive. Its worth a shot though because she is a phenomenal therapist.


Have you considered mindfulness-based cognitive therapy? I hear it can be effective in individuals who have had multiple depressive episodes, as it's tailored to the express purpose of preventing depressive relapse after therapy by other means.
#17
Interesting, I've never heard of that particular kind of CBT before. I'll do some research. Thanks.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#18
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Interesting, I've never heard of that particular kind of CBT before. I'll do some research. Thanks.

Hey! Where's my cookie?!




s'cool bro, going in for cbt myself for depression. (although I think they got it wrong, thinking I'm schizoid or smthn
#20
Anhedonia is a bitch.

I don't want to knock going to a therapist, because for a lot of people its an essential part of their treatment regimen. However, its important to realize that those who work in that field have a vested interest in seeing you come back. Its how they feed their kids. Therapists are people too.


So, here's my advice: go in with a game plan.
Know what you want out of the therapy experience and actively pursue it. Make sure that your therapist is also aware of your goals. Break things down into easily achievable steps and be sure to doggedly chase each subset (mini-goal) in order to slowly and steadily succeed at your overall objective.

Remember, you can be your own therapist. If you can manage to break through the mental fog that seems to accompany depression (see symptom: poor concentration) in order to view your thought processes from an objective state of mind, you'll be able to use logic to defeat the irrationality that the depressed mindstate induces.
That is basically the philosophy of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)... which, oddly enough, has parallels to Zen philosophy (not Buddhism, just Zen).

Personally, the thing that helps me most is focusing on an ambitious long-term goal (by working on smaller goals that will lead to that endpoint). It stops me from dwelling too much on depression because depression simply eats up way too much time.
That, combined with artistic/creative expression (and excercise+nutrition, which basically gives you free endogenous drugs!) have been a pretty effective treatment regimen. Balance in most things.
Be honest with yourself and do your best to better yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. No one's perfect; everyone's flawed. Its all good, brah.


Pharmaceuticals seem to help some people, but be aware of side fx... do your homework.



But then again, I'm just some asshole on the internet, so do whatever you need to do to get back to who you are.
sigless
Last edited by sysD at Jun 25, 2013,
#21
People put too much faith in therapy. Works for some people, but because of some ******ed administration I had to go to therapy for a couple years as a kid. It was a complete waste of my time and my parents money. Was practically criminal, but had to do it so I wouldn't get expelled or something. Tried it again when shit got pretty bad a couple years ago and it was just as worthless.

& the worse you go through the less sympathy you have for others and their problems. least for me, suck it up princess. same as somebody with leukemia probably feels about me.
#22
Quote by sysD
post

Thanks for the input.


Quote by Thrashtastic15
People put too much faith in therapy. Works for some people, but because of some ******ed administration I had to go to therapy for a couple years as a kid. It was a complete waste of my time and my parents money. Was practically criminal, but had to do it so I wouldn't get expelled or something. Tried it again when shit got pretty bad a couple years ago and it was just as worthless.

& the worse you go through the less sympathy you have for others and their problems. least for me, suck it up princess. same as somebody with leukemia probably feels about me.

I disagree, particularly on the last point. If anything, suffering with life's spoils has made me more empathetic.

And I think a good therapist is very, very helpful. I think that it only helps for some is an understatement.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 25, 2013,
#23
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
tl;dr:
Want to tell parents to go back into therapy. Worried that because I'm still job-seeking, the fact I don't have a job yet is the cause of the depression, which it isn't. How do I tell them that I need therapy without them judging me for being unemployed?

Cookies go towards users who post something helpful.
Thanks.

I have no idea what's wrong with you. Why do you make everything so complicated?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#24
Quote by Neo Evil11
I have no idea what's wrong with you. Why do you make everything so complicated?

Because the relationship between myself and my parents is complicated. Life is complicated.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 25, 2013,
#25
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Because the relationship between myself and my parents is complicated.

Tell them: parents I'm going back into therapy.
they say: it's because you're unemployed, just find a job.
You say: no, it isn't, go **** yourselves.

Also I have no idea why you think it has nothing to do with your unemployment.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#26
Quote by Neo Evil11
Tell them: parents I'm going back into therapy.
they say: it's because you're unemployed, just find a job.
You say: no, it isn't, go **** yourselves.

tfw no cookie
Also I have no idea why you think it has nothing to do with your unemployment.

I made it clear that I've had depression years before I was unemployed and was still a student. I was still depressed even when I had a job.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#27
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
tfw no cookie

I made it clear that I've had depression years before I was unemployed and was still a student. I was still depressed even when I had a job.

You're a brony, I would expect you to be depressed and unemployed.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#28


Pick cookie crumbs of the street if you're that butthurt.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#29
Quote by Neo Evil11
I have no idea what's wrong with you. Why do you make everything so complicated?


To seem smart and intelligent and to make everyone feel sorry for him when it's really a simple problem.
#30
Quote by FearMyLightning
To seem smart and intelligent and to make everyone feel sorry for him when it's really a simple problem.


Yeah, bro. Going from your sig, you're an expert on intelligence.
sigless
#31
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE

I disagree, particularly on the last point. If anything, suffering with life's spoils has made me more empathetic.

lol. yeah, hard to be empathetic for people who make much ado about nothing when you would love to have their "challenges". when you actually experience some real shit you'll get a bit of a sense of scope. im empathetic to the person i was roommates with in the hospital who i could hear suffering in the last stage of his life through the little curtain (throat cancer). I find it hard to give much of a shit over some kid being depressed over nothing when I understand how it isn't even a drop in an olympic sized swimming pool. Just like I'm sure all the people suffering from proper cancer don't really feel too bad for my thyroid cancer and its 98% survival rate.
#32
Quote by Thrashtastic15
lol. yeah, hard to be empathetic for people who make much ado about nothing when you would love to have their "challenges". when you actually experience some real shit you'll get a bit of a sense of scope. im empathetic to the person i was roommates with in the hospital who i could hear suffering in the last stage of his life through the little curtain (throat cancer). I find it hard to give much of a shit over some kid being depressed over nothing when I understand how it isn't even a drop in an olympic sized swimming pool. Just like I'm sure all the people suffering from proper cancer don't really feel too bad for my thyroid cancer and its 98% survival rate.

I'm sorry to hear about that, but there's also no need to take the chip on your shoulder out on me.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#33
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
I'm sorry to hear about that, but there's also no need to take the chip on your shoulder out on me.

Boo hoo. I see plenty need for somebody muttering on about inconsequential shit to get a bit of scope and realise that their problems would be a blessing for many.
#34
Quote by Thrashtastic15
Boo hoo. I didn't get a bunch of flowers on my doorstep because, as a cancer sufferer, I am automatically entitled to such charity.

ftfy.

I hate to be a dick, but you don't leave me with a lot of options.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#35
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
I'm sorry to hear about that, but there's also no need to take the chip on your shoulder out on me.


this

just because someone else in the world "has it worse" doesnt make problems any less valid. By that logic nobody should be sad about anything because there are starving kids in africa who die of starvation before their 1st birthday; and nobody should be happy because somewhere in the world a rich person is much happier
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#37
Quote by Thrashtastic15
lol. yeah, hard to be empathetic for people who make much ado about nothing when you would love to have their "challenges". when you actually experience some real shit you'll get a bit of a sense of scope. im empathetic to the person i was roommates with in the hospital who i could hear suffering in the last stage of his life through the little curtain (throat cancer). I find it hard to give much of a shit over some kid being depressed over nothing when I understand how it isn't even a drop in an olympic sized swimming pool. Just like I'm sure all the people suffering from proper cancer don't really feel too bad for my thyroid cancer and its 98% survival rate.


Don't use your experiences as an excuse to be a "jaded", shitty person. Your perspective isn't the only one that matters. Many people, most likely the better ones, become more empathetic because of their shitty experiences.

You're not the only one who's gone through shit. You've just chosen to become a worse person because of it.
My God, it's full of stars!
#38
Quote by Dreadnought
Don't use your experiences as an excuse to be a "jaded", shitty person. Your perspective isn't the only one that matters. Many people, most likely the better ones, become more empathetic because of their shitty experiences.

You're not the only one who's gone through shit. You've just chosen to become a worse person because of it.

My "suffering" is just as inconsequential. I've barely gone through shit compared to many. I think there's something wrong when people moan and create "problems" for themselves when there are people suffering from some serious shit who can take it in stride and with a smile. Instead of whining so much look at how they cope and take the necessary perspective from that.

I don't care if that makes me a shitty and jaded person. Excuse me for not coddling and giving an honest opinion. Want some hugs sweethearts?
#39
Quote by Thrashtastic15
My "suffering" is just as inconsequential. I've barely gone through shit compared to many. I think there's something wrong when people moan and create "problems" for themselves when there are people suffering from some serious shit who can take it in stride and with a smile. Instead of whining so much look at how they cope and take the necessary perspective from that.

I don't care if that makes me a shitty and jaded person. Excuse me for not coddling and giving an honest opinion. Want some hugs sweethearts?


No, you should probably just shut up since you're a piece of shit.
My God, it's full of stars!
#40
Quote by Bladez22
this

just because someone else in the world "has it worse" doesnt make problems any less valid. By that logic nobody should be sad about anything because there are starving kids in africa who die of starvation before their 1st birthday; and nobody should be happy because somewhere in the world a rich person is much happier


Yes it does.
Page 1 of 3