#1
after all this time
I've got stories to tell
that would blow your mind
and spill your drink as well
you would never think that I would
but I do

wallflower with a healthy dose of heartache
standing stubborn by the wall
you could tell she was surrounded by some grass snakes
coming like a cannon ball
but he turned up, cape and all
a sufficient superman
you would never think he would
but I guess now that you can

there was a tiny terror trying to sink his teeth
into any passing piece of meet
you could see he was eyeing up the ladies
sliding quick from foot to feet
but she stepped up, all discreet
an exquisite wonder woman
you would never think she would
but I guess now you can

close to midnight you could see these two were
tied together by the hand
you didn't need an alchemist to brew her
love or help her in a plan
but they stepped up, collective wing man
and requested something slow
you would never think it were possible
but I guess you never know

after all this time I've got some
stories to tell
for all the stains and bruises
then I guess it's just as well
you step up, I lie flat
but you'll never break my back
I am the dance floor looking up at you
looking after you
#4
Excellent, very well done. The imagery is killer, I had a very clear picture in my mind as I read each line, which is (obviously) what we go for with songwriting/poetry. What I think can be so cool about this is that as I read it with no music, I kind of had "generic high school dance music" in my head as a background to the main story. So, if these are intended as song lyrics, this may sort of have a "song-within-a-song" effect, if that makes any sense? The only critique I may offer is maybe introducing the "but I guess..." last line in the first stanza, and maybe using it again in the last stanza. Not that the piece isn't very well unified, but that could just add a little extra unification to the narrator, using that repetitive idea. Like I said, a really great piece that I enjoyed reading a lot, well done.
"When you do something right, it seems as if you've done nothing at all."