#1
I'd really appreciate some feedback on a song i finished a while ago. ill return the favor as well for each person that gives feedback

if you guys would also like to edit the song and submit alternate versions, that would be really cool too

thanks once again guys!
Attachments:
The soundtrack to your suicide.gp5.zip
#2
Haven't got any songs for c4c, and this isn't going to be a proper full crit, sorry.

Loved the song; I don't normally have a big enough attention span to listen to a song for 7 minutes straight unless it's really good, and I listened to this song for 7 minutes straight.

The only parts I didn't really like was the "Guitar enters" section (there's not enough variation before/after, and cutting it up to "Drums enter" sounded a lot better to me), and the outro, it just went to the acoustic guitar a bit too abruptly for my liking. If you kept that final chord droning throughout and faded it, I think you'd be on to a winner.

Would love to see this recorded!
#3
I did enjoy the track quite a bit. I think the transition into the outro chorus was a bit awkward and I too did not like the strummed outro; must sound better on an actual guitar.

I'll upload something of mine from a while time ago, I don't remember if I ever got any critiques on it. It's kind of a softer technical song, maybe you'll like it.

You may be able to tell that I'm a bassist and not a guitarist. My band's guitarist tells me I write impossible passages all the time.
Attachments:
Song514.gp5
#4
The title is dire as hell I can say it's great instrumentation! The transitions were mostly OK for me. But again, the breakdown part was unnecessary. Or maybe I just don't like breakdowns?
#5
Quote by Camm
I did enjoy the track quite a bit. I think the transition into the outro chorus was a bit awkward and I too did not like the strummed outro; must sound better on an actual guitar.

I'll upload something of mine from a while time ago, I don't remember if I ever got any critiques on it. It's kind of a softer technical song, maybe you'll like it.

You may be able to tell that I'm a bassist and not a guitarist. My band's guitarist tells me I write impossible passages all the time.

the song is definitely pretty damn cool dude! some of the chords are a bit awkward like in bars 49-52, and 65-71, but otherwise this has some pretty great potential man!

as for you visualidiot, just post them to me whenever youve got one, and ill return the favor
#6
What the fuck is up with all of you noobs spamming your songs in random thread instead of making your own
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#7
Quote by Zaqq
The title is dire as hell I can say it's great instrumentation! The transitions were mostly OK for me. But again, the breakdown part was unnecessary. Or maybe I just don't like breakdowns?

you happened to find two of my songs that dont exactly have the strongest breakdowns lol. i tend not to use them much, so its rare i have a truly noteworthy one. im working on improving my breakdowns. thanks for the frequent input though man, its greatly appreciated!
#8
Quote by pAWNlol
im working on improving my breakdowns.

Don't
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#9
Quote by Ometh
Don't

"dont" as in theyre fine how they are or "dont" as in dont spend my time on breakdowns?
#10
Quote by Ometh
What the fuck is up with all of you noobs spamming your songs in random thread instead of making your own


He says to someone who has been here for 3 years longer than he has.

He says to someone who was asked to post a song for the original poster to critique, by the original poster.

Are you pants-on-head retarded?

Thanks pAWNlol, I appreciate it. Any way I could change those chords to make them easier?

I just really liked the collection of notes. Also, keep in mind this song is written in my own custom tuning. It wasn't in any tuning library I could find but it probably has a name and isn't original.
Last edited by Camm at Jul 3, 2013,
#11
Quote by pAWNlol
"dont" as in theyre fine how they are or "dont" as in dont spend my time on breakdowns?

Breakdowns are pretty pointless IMO, and they've been waay overdone. I was just being a dick, do whatever you want.
Quote by Camm
He says to someone who has been here for 3 years longer than he has.

He says to someone who was asked to post a song for the original poster to critique, by the original poster.

Are you pants-on-head retarded?

So it's more practical to spam you song on every single thread you crit instead of creating your own and just posting a link along with your crit? You also get the chance of more crits by having a thread but hey I don't really care. And if you care that much about join dates guess what that makes you?

Aaand I'm out.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jul 4, 2013,
#12
Very good song ! Here are the 3 things i liked the most :
- violins parts
- the bass line, you spent time on it and as a bassist I apreciate it (though I think I couldn't play the hole song, i don't know, we don't care btw)
- your markers' names

One other thing I would add to what have already said the others : during the power metal part, everything sounds a little bit too ... "alone". I would either add a 2d lead guitar or add some violins chords or anything.

(C4C i'm uploading a song in some minutes in another thread)
Sorry for the bad english by the way.
#13
Quote by Ometh
What the fuck is up with all of you noobs spamming your songs in random thread instead of making your own

personally i find it a more effective way to make sure the person whose post it is will see it. yes, less people will see it, but at least theres a better chance of the person critiquing it. i also actually prefer it because i lose track of who ive critiqued so i can return the favor. for example, i posted a genre-switching prog metal song weeks ago, and still no one has commented on it. lots of people have done so on all of my other posts though
#14
Quote by Ometh
Breakdowns are pretty pointless IMO, and they've been waay overdone. I was just being a dick, do whatever you want.

So it's more practical to spam you song on every single thread you crit instead of creating your own and just posting a link along with your crit? You also get the chance of more crits by having a thread but hey I don't really care. And if you care that much about join dates guess what that makes you?

Aaand I'm out.


You appear to be lacking the mental faculties to speak with me.

You are truly mindless if you think that I'm "spamming my song in every single thread", because it means that you have never seen another one of my posts before. I post roughly every 3 to 4 months so if you've been my secret admirer for the past 7 years, stop.

What does it make me when you call me a "noob" and I refute your claim with solid evidence to the contrary?

Does that make me correct? I can't imagine what else it could possibly make me; enlighten me.

Oh wait, you're leaving? Spewing non-sense and then not returning because you know it was non-sense? Classy.
#15
The intro progression is fairly generic but it works. The clean guitar doesn't really add much to to it but I like the strumming bit with the drum fills. I'd make the strumming faster because it sounds a bit odd. And then at 25 it turns into your run of the mill, generic metalcore bit: don't really care for it, specially with this chord progression. I also don't like the breakdown-y feeling this part has. It's better than a Neanderthal-like tritone breakdown, but then everything is: used tampons in a trash bag, a cum rag, used toilet paper... the list goes on. The rhythm guitar clashes with the bass at 35: I'd change the guitar chord to an inverted power chord:

c|4
g|2
D|2
, since that fixes it. You also need to change the synth "chord". This one works
d|2
a|3
f|4
c|x
g|2
d2
A|0

The progression seems to get more interesting before leading into a completely different riff. The riff is average but the breakdown behind it is completely dreadful. 53/59 is ok, but then you follow it up with another breakdown-y riff and another interlude, leading into some clean chords, pretty ok. Another breakdown (ugh) leads into ANOTHER transition, this one being probably the worse so far. A pointless build up leads again to another run off the mill, 2006 modern metalcore breakdown. I don't think I have to say anything about this. The next pedal riff is ok. The solo is pretty ok, my favourite part being 136, since that tasty chromaticism is better than the scale runs before it. I don't even know why but the drums start blasting away, and then they stop after what, 5 seconds? What's the point of this blast section then? Repetition of the first melodic breakdown, eh. The solo is also pretty average. Guitar and bass clash again at 159, exactly like 35. I guess the following melodic breakdown is slower so it doesn't tire the scene kids out, good pick. And then some pretty chords ring out for some reason and lead into some clean strumming. You know you can fade out things with GP right? F10 if you don't know.
Overall, I don't see what's so progressive about it, and why there are so many goddamn breakdowns. Like many have explained thousands of times before me the point of breakdowns is to simply release tension, pretty much the same as a slam in BDM. Almost half of your riffs are either breakdowns or transitions and I don't really see the point. A fan of the genre would rate it higher, but this is 5/10 material for me. It's solid for what it is (and don't worry, fans of this genre will eat it up) but for me it's way too cookie cutter to be enjoyable in any way. I remember listening to some of you pieces before and IMO this might be the worse I have heard from you so far. Don't take this badly, it's just my opinion, and my asshole just seems to stink more for some than for others.

If you want to return the crit, go ahead.

Quote by Camm
You appear to be lacking the mental faculties to speak with me.

You are truly mindless if you think that I'm "spamming my song in every single thread", because it means that you have never seen another one of my posts before. I post roughly every 3 to 4 months so if you've been my secret admirer for the past 7 years, stop.

What does it make me when you call me a "noob" and I refute your claim with solid evidence to the contrary?

Does that make me correct? I can't imagine what else it could possibly make me; enlighten me.

Oh wait, you're leaving? Spewing non-sense and then not returning because you know it was non-sense? Classy.



Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jul 6, 2013,
#16
Jesus ometh, i wanted a critique, not someone to tear my shit to shreds. yes, this is a bit older than some of my other tabs, and i was in a bit of a metalcore-ish phase at the time, so i was experimenting with more rhythmic qualities. also, that "clashing" bass is on purpose. with the bass raised to the 1st scale degree, and the rhythm on the 6th, it serves as a 1st inversion VI chord, which i have always been a fan of, especially in A minor for some reason. also, i use TG, so i dont think ill have the fade-out feature

really man, that was an unnecessarily brutal review
#17
Sorry I'm an asshole, can't help it
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#18
Quote by Ometh
Sorry I'm an asshole, can't help it


That much is obvious.
#19
Fell in love with the intro, the rest of the song is pretty good too, but the fade out sounded kinda funny, I guess an actual recorded version would fix that. But yeah, overall, good song and good structure, keep it up!