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#1
Here is a thread to post your embarrassingly bad jokes

Why did Captain Kirks wife have a turd on her head ?

Because William Shatner.

Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion ?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
#4
me+yourmom=69




#6
Nate the Snake.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#10
Quote by LostLegion
What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man.

Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#12
Quote by angusfan16
WoMens rights


That's better
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#14
Imagine a scene in the old west. Ramshackle houses line a wide street marked with ruts from years of wagons full of supplies. A tumbleweed blow by in the late afternoon breeze. Off in the distance, the sheriff sees a lone figure coming into town. As it gets closer, he sees that it's a dog. It's clearly been walking a long time; it's covered in dirt and limping into town. When the dog gets closer the sheriff says, "What can I do fer ya son?"

the dog replies, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot mah paw."
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#17
Quote by BladeSlinger
Nate the Snake.

what a waste of time




#18
I went to the doctor and said "I've broken my arm in three places."
He said "Well don't go to those places."
"Music snobbery is the worst kind of snobbery. 'Oh, you like those noises? Those sounds in your ear? Do you like them? They're the wrong sounds. You should like these sounds in your ear.'"
- Dara O'Briain
#19
Quote by lemmyisgod97
Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion ?

Because he was outstanding in his field.


that's too good
#21
I went shopping for a pair of camouflage trousers, and I couldn't find any.
#22
an invisible patient goes to the hospital and asks for dr. badjoke, but the receptionist says "sorry he can't see you right now"
#25
A sergeant is doing rounds at basic training and walks up to Private Smith.

"Smith, I didn't see you at camoflage training today!"
"Thank you sir!"
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#27
a woman was filling up her car at a petrol station when she spilt fuel on her arm, little while later she lit up a smoke as she was driving and the ash set it on fire. policeman saw this and pulled her over for possessing a firearm
#28
"Mustache" said a bearded man in a hurry.

Atom 1: I think I've lost an electron
Atom 2: Are you sure?
Atom 1: I'm positive.
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

Gear List:
Ibanez RG570
Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
My godawful blog
#31
Horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the **** is there a horse in my bar??"
#33
A travelling salesman knocks on a door, the door is answered by a ten year-old boy wearing lipstick, a bra, panties, high-heeled shoes, he's drinking a scotch and smoking a cigar. The travelling salesman says "Whoa, son! Are your parents home?" The boy replies "What the **** do you think?"
Gear:
Ibanez GSA60 Guitar through Zoom G1Xon to Vox VT40+
Ibanez SR300 Bass to Acoustic B100
#36
Quote by RAB11
A sergeant is doing rounds at basic training and walks up to Private Smith.

"Smith, I didn't see you at camoflage training today!"
"Thank you sir!"



'93 Gibson LP Studio (498T/490R)-Ebony
'14 Gibson LP Standard (JB/Jazz)-Ocean Water Perimeter
Epi MKH LP Custom-7 (SD Custom Shop JB-7)-Ebony
+More

Maxon od808|Boss NS-2|Boss CE-5|
Line6 G55|Korg Pitchblack Pro

JVM 210h|1960a(V30/G12t-75)
#37
Quote by vulgarmachine


Atom 1: I think I've lost an electron
Atom 2: Are you sure?
Atom 1: I'm positive.


ayy lmao
#38
Bad jokes are my favorite kind, I've laughed so hard in this thread.

A man walks into a bar and says, "ow!"
For how can I give the King his place of worth above all else
when I spend my time striving to place the crown upon myself?
#39
Quote by kozmo4200
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...


Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent!
Party on Wayne. Party on Garth

Schecter Platinum C-1 Floyd Rose

Quote by Lord_Doku
Friendship and masturbation go a long way towards happiness. Until you have sex, then it's friendship and sex. And an empty wallet.
#40
What do you call a load of negroes floating down a river?

A Blackcurrant

Ba-dum-tshhh
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