#2
hey man here's my crit

im not sure what to think about this , sounds kind of like static x imo , but there isnt really anything happening throughout the song , it doesnt flow , its just the same thing repeated with sometimes more or less instruments , and there doesnt seem to be any chord progression either.

with that said , the 1 part that u do have is good , now all u gotta do is just build a song around it , cuz as i see it its just a pieze of the puzzle , instead the whole puzzle , if you understand what i mean.

oh and id suggest just namng your thread the title of your song instead of "super awesome metal song" cuz peopel might start crying that they thought it wasnt intense at all , even though you think it was

anyway can you crit Unsung Heroes for me ? its in my sig
#3
This song is like a single riff which is played over and over... 1 riff is not enough, dude! And it's not so good a riff to make a song just of it.
#4
k well i guess i'll just go outside now then.
Last edited by Namaste196 at Jul 15, 2013,
#5
I think you need to practice writing melodies, your vocal melodies wouldn't be easy to sing, nor would they be pleasant to hear. I feel like your song just descends into mush at bar 57, I don't know what the choir thing was supposed to be, but it was out of time. The ending was awful, it just sort of ended, no crescendo, no tension or release, just fizzling out. Riffs should never be repeated that often unless you're a good enough songwriter to make them work, listen to The Smoke by Amorphis, it is based around one melody and it's always being played by something, it never stops and never feel repetitive because at times it's so well concealed, and the melody is amazingly catchy.

The riff in this song sounds like it needs to appear once, and once only, it's an alright headbanging riff that sounds like it could be played by Hatebreed's support band, but it is not the basis of an entire song. There's not even any development, it sounds very copy and pasted, and I would be surprised if this took longer than ten minutes. It sounds rude, but this song isn't thought out, you should improve your skill as a songwriter, learn to use chord progressions, write vocal melodies and learn about developing melodies, rather than just copying and pasting them. Also, use dynamics, many unsigned bands use what I would say are superficial dynamics 'Ooh, we go to clean in this section!' or, 'Ooh, we drop down to just bass', actually use the dynamics of each instrument to give the piece depth.
#6
Honestly, it reminds me of Strapping Young Lad but with only the energy and not the notes.

I'd put some attitude into it before I'd start calling it "intense". "Hyper" is more like it.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God