#1
I lay under the covers
Slowly fade into the atmosphere
Keep your voice down
The sound's abrasive on my fragile skin

Keep your head down
The vultures are flying low
Picking at the scraps
Tear the feelings from the flesh

Sitting
Alone, awake inside an empty room
Tell me
What are you waiting for?

Falling apart at the seams
Cradling broken, empty dreams
Alone, awake I wait here hoping

Lead the way out of here
Guide me out of my fears
Alone, awake I wait here praying

Waiting
Alone, awake inside an empty room
Give me
What I've been waiting for
#2
As is it's a 3/10 piece. If you cut out the last sentence of each stanza it'd be a 7/10.


I think you're trying to hard to bring closure to each small bit. Leave that for the end. Keep the rest open ended, which will in turn lead us into the next portion.