#2
Ooh, electro house! I'm actually working on an electro house track right now, for a remix contest.
First off, this is mastered entirely too quiet. Sound too compressed isn't much of an issue in EDM; it doesn't have to sound good, just loud, to get played. Don't be afraid to drive that master compressor hard.
The vocals are sandpaper, honestly. I have some nasty issues with pitch too, but in EDM, vocals are just flavoring for the beat, a "spice" in a way. Which means since they're not the centerpiece, you're allowed to cheat a bit and use pitch correction. Also, they're mixed way too loud. Look at to waveform; it's not hard to see which parts have vocals and which don't, just by looking for bumps. They're too bassy as well; "spices" are generally mixed into the mids and highs, so the basses have all the room they need for overtones, so put some high pass on it.
I'm not hearing any bass or sub. In electro house, this is really important. Add some sub bass; just a simple sine wave in the 20-50Hz register will do.
Also important: stereo depth. There's no stereo depth on any of the instruments; it's all mono. Adding some, either via layering (your synths should have some kind of layering tool, like Image-Line's "Unison", built in) or reverb/stereo delay, will add an immersive quality that this piece sorely lacks right now.
The composition is okay, though. I'm not sure the lyrics fit for dance music, but the melody is solid, and the harmonies would sound great if they were on pitch. The structure has all the necessary parts, and stays decently engaging for all six minutes. Normally I'd say move the drop forward a bit (2:27 is a bit late), but it stays busy until then, so do whatever.
In EDM, the mix is everything. Electro house is written to move feet and shake asses. When you're mixing, and you're playing back your beat and listening to it, ask yourself: "Is my ass shaking?" If not, come back to this post; I've got some suggestions.
#3
Thank you for the feedback. This track is not yet mastered, so there is virtually no comp/limiting on the master bus. Vocal-wise, I'm still not too comfortable with singing, and while the place I'm at has pitch software (melodyne), I can't seem to access it. The vocal mix does need clarity, less bass, and less volume, I admit. Tracks will probably need reverb to it, I admit...and more bass.

Honestly, I'm into EDM because I love it's structure and sounds, not because I can dance to it. That's why I wrote the lyrics not about love or dancing (It's about a castaway on a deserted island). Still, I wish for any advice you can give me as I fix the track and re-upload it.

Thanks, and good luck with the contest!