#1
Helped on by a few
and not by a few others
fresh off the grass
frozen forks on the uplift
tilting to the side
as it goes this way and that way
it doesn't show on your face how you feel
trying to get yourself away
are you on the grass?
are you on the mic?
frozen as it slightly comes apart in waves
perception so close to the real thing
trying to get yourself away
is it upstairs?
is it from the bakery?
we can't and we can
always and never
let me know when you choke
and you need help
we are all cutting down trees with two glued saws
we are all doing work and eating
we step up to the mic
we have tricks
and disasters
and frogs up the sleeve
and we all make us cry
leaving us broken
from what place we don't know in the first place
are you breaking twigs in the forest with your noisy feet?
we are all taken with mistakes
they sweep us off our feet and it shouldn't be
the flag on my wall is Greenland
open up the hole a little wider, shine the light
thumbs are sore, muscles too, but it's worth it
wake up early
always
that's the key
just wake up early
(and go to the bakery)
you haven't had it here for a long time
haven't seen the eyes
but like the letter written said
you have as much right to be here
as the grass you trample
coming apart
coming this way and that way
always and never
fore and aft
the heroes aren't the ones in the helicopters,
it's the ones discovering the leaking for themselves -
after having been lied to.
Last edited by parkt921k at Jul 30, 2013,
#2
the ending was killer but I wanted the poem to build to it better/with more force. The middle is the strongest section because of its solid imagery but the beginning and tail end are watered down by a lack of concrete anchors for the reader's mind to moor to. love seeing you posting though!