written for Andrea Gibson's anti-suicide group Stay Here With Me. sorry about lack of punctuation. Spoken Word Video Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIxAUcFmORE

Stay Here With Me

stay here with me
call it a hunch
but i can hear the gears grind underneath your chin
and make no mistake
there’s a warrior within

a warrior you muzzle with a rain catcher
rebar and a bright flicker
stuck underneath however many layers of soil
you can’t seem to lick off
and so you let the toxins boil in varying degrees
bowels pressure filled like diamond mines
headaches shooting steam from ears
ribs dangling lifeless like windchimes
waiting for this life to end so you can rewind
back to your most basic existence
and maybe in a future life god will reinvent your instincts

you can hear the choir ringing from the church down the street
just like you can hear angels
in the nights you turn your back and strangle in your cold sweat sheets
in the mornings after when you refuse to eat
and stare into your mirror like a dream catcher
but you don’t believe in dream catchers

I see
two lungs and a suffering
two legs and an ache
too long you have held your two arms in a cross when you thought no one was watching
and pleaded with sin or a devil within
or a promise that never came true from a well or a star or a friend
to lift you to peace

peace aint out there bucko
peace is in here
peace is in all of here
all the time
every, single, second
peace ain’t never coming unless you fight yourself for it

these are things I know

there's a doe out in the old growth forests near saco maine
and shes dancing around a bear cub whose mother died this winter
and she’s going in and out of his peripheral
going back and forth between the raging of the river bank
and the evergreen pineneedles near the bear cubs head
bringing red berries that glisten with snowwater
melted ice from the doe's hot breath,
and as the bear cub regains his strength he shivers
and the moons out
but neither of them have language for the immensity of the moon
so the doe wraps her body around the cub
with her warm stomach touching his prickly back

and about two miles north there's a cabin where a 26 year old young man who never thought he’d lose his virginity is doing just that with the love of his life

and about two miles west there's a child making animals out of the fire smoke

and about four miles east there's a lighthouse where a grandmother who used to kiss girls in the 60’s and always talks about those wild times with a glint and a tear, that grandmother is standing at the top in the freezing wind in a two-person parka, arms outstretched like that titanic scene, and her partner is naked behind her clutching her hips

and about six miles north of that there's an aurora borealis that is listening so intently to your story, to your scribble that it implodes in the most beautiful colors you may never see but I promise you, I promise you they’re there

stay here with me
see what I see
this is not pity
this is divinity
you are divinity
to me

don’t take that away from me
I know what it means to lose everything
I know what it means to have nothing
I know in poetry I’m supposed to show and not tell but just trust me
nows not the time for roberts rules
nows the time for bibles and flannery o’conner
nows the time for atlasses and vincent ****ing van gough

nows the time to reverse the invisible ink of your childhood
permanently unlock the trapper-keeper of your adolescence
and cut that moleskin elastic free

nows the time for that rain dance
nows the time for that war call
warrior, I know you have that joy crocheted into your voicebox
and warrior I know you have the staple remover big enough to pry it into being
i want to see it, i want to read it, i want to kiss it i want to touch it i want to love it

I am your choir ringing from the church down the street
stay here with me
see what I see
this is not pity
this is divinity
you are divinity
to me
Last edited by #1 synth at Aug 5, 2013,