#1
I've been trying to sing over chords, it's tough for me to avoid singing the strum pattern and the root notes, so I've been forcing myself to sing in odd signatures, "off notes" to get my ear used to not singing notes that appear in the chord, etc. Anyway, I made this out of a melody and "think" that it has some sort of potential for a song. I usually throw poetry over songs, but that hasn't worked in the past...or I just do instrumentals.

But yeah, here it is.

love me, insane
casualties will rot into our winded brains
hate you, I'm scared
*another static life sat over there

punctured me invisible
and caught your ear
I felt so heavy, I
Should have left you here

Murdrous once more
Your love that you can't show to me
has hit the floor

I'll try my best to crit for crit. There are a few lines that are taken from poems that I wrote, and I particularly like the starred line. Don't know why.

edit - Forgot to say, it's nowhere near complete...just thought I would get *some* feedback on what I'm doing since I hardly ever come here with lyrics before saying "these suck" and deleting them/burning the paper etc.