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#1
How would you feel if your significant other was given job or school opportunities based on their level of attraction? Would you feel uncomfortable with them taking those opportunities? Would you encourage it, so long as it was clear that there was no funny business?


My fiance handles me getting hit on very well, and generally just lets me deal with it (I'm quicker with the comebacks at this point). He would only get involved if the person was being inappropriate or I needed help. I'm very vocal about my relationship so it's pretty easy. I am generally not rude to someone who is hitting on me, especially if they are being polite, but I explain that I'm already taken, and at that point they either leave or change the subject to something more kosher.

Since we started dating, I've been approached numerous times by different people asking if I would model for them or if I would audition for their production. My fiance is the first person I tell, generally excited, but it is obvious that the people approaching me think I'm attractive - how I look and act is essential to the role. Some offers have been for over $1000, with transportation and lodging paid for as well, but the person is obviously into me, though unlikely to act. I have turned down all the offers that haven't been in town or with someone my fiance knows because it gets too awkward talking about it. He generally makes fun of the guy and looks down on me for taking a job for my looks that isn't with a huge company. I've asked if he wants to come with me and if that would help, and he says yes, but avoids it when I do get back to someone and try to make plans.

He is getting a MA in Architecture right now and I met him right before he started. His work has been a huge part of my intellectual work, and vice versa. I have talked to him about trying to get into the program if they fund me, and he thinks its a good idea. He taught a month-long class for a professor a few years ago and the guy doesn't remember him anymore, or at least doesn't call him by his name, which is a huge bummer. The prof is obviously pretty pompous. But he loves talking to pretty girls, and I caught his eye in the grocery store once, so he told me to come chat if I'm around the studio. After running into him at the school a few times and arguing with him quite a bit about poetry and politics, he showed me his photography studio and asked (in front of my fiance, whom he also showed the studio) if he could photograph me. I went in today to be shot and afterward he had a long talk with me about applying to the Master's program and immediately set up a meeting with me and the chair of the program. He told me to talk to the chair about my intellectual pursuits and why they are a good fit for the school.

This is an awesome opportunity, and I'm sure my looks have something to do with it, but I know it's also because I am a tough arguer and impressed him with how much philosophy I've read (I study philosophy and am very passionate about it). There are much prettier girls than me around, ESPECIALLY at my school, but people seem to like me, for whatever reason. Part of being a woman (or anyone, really) is knowing that how you present yourself can entirely change a situation, and I don't think I should veer away from using my looks to get me where I want to be. My fiance was super excited that I talked to the chair of his program, but he still felt weird about me getting photographed by the professor (entirely waist-up, covered and clothed, nothing remotely sensual), despite the opportunity that came from it. He even convinced our friend not to come with me earlier because he gave her the picture that the dude was just going to hit on me the whole time (he didn't).

I can understand being sore about that specific professor, but I don't want it to get in the way of even more opportunities just because one of us isn't quite comfortable - after all, even he talked to me because I caught his eye, and he fell in love with me for much more. I don't think there is anything morally wrong with being attracted to someone. I talk about my fiance often whenever someone brings up something like this and nobody seems less interested in what I am saying. I'm even a bit offended that he thinks it's just because of how I look.


How do I make him feel better about the situation? How would you feel, either in his shoes or mine? Should I be more thoughtful?


tl;dr - Should you turn down job/school opportunities that you got because the person who gave you that opportunity thinks you are hot?
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#5
Quote by JustRooster
Take it. Just don't complain about the inevitable advances.

I scare away most advances haha. I'm a fiesty lady. I think, if anything, I make them nervous after a while.
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#6
A real gangsta don't flex nuts, cuz a real gangsta knows they got 'em. If you don't play along they may just find another replacement that will.

Being a pretty chick must put you in a lot of shit situations.
#8
I would only be concerned that your looks took away some of the testing parameters to get into the course, and that once you are 'in' you might not have the skills to complete it.

Also what Jake said. He might've taken it as flirtatious that you allowed him to photograph you (photography is inherently sensual, no? Even if it is completely chalk) and continue to berate you. Be wary.

As for your fiancé, I'd feel down right offended if my fiancé agreed to get photographed by essentially a stranger to either a) get into the course or b) have higher chances of getting in.

Did he state the premises of the photography? Why did he take the photo?
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#10
I'd say - go for it. If you aren't comfortable, either don't do it, or call it off. As long as you're not expected to do something you aren't happy about, then there's no problem?
If you're getting a lot of offers for easy work, then surely it's just extra income?
#11
Quote by JustRooster
A real gangsta don't flex nuts, cuz a real gangsta knows they got 'em. If you don't play along they may just find another replacement that will.

Being a pretty chick must put you in a lot of shit situations.

But real gangsta uses nuts when shit gets real?


It does, but I'm not going to change the way that I look for other people. People kill for that kind of attention. They do terrible things to themselves. I am blessed to have people think highly of me, and I carry the responsibility attached. I'm not interest in people who think I'm pretty, I'm interested in people who think I'm awesome; people who think I'm awesome often also think I am pretty, though.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#12
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#13
I've been doing photography a while. While I don't do models very often, nearly all of my friends who are photographers do. If you've got questions about the etiquette and stuff I can points you to the proper resources. There are some unwritten laws of model shoots.
#14
^ You can send it to me, but this dude definitely wasn't being inappropriate throughout the shoot.


Quote by N_J_B_B
I would only be concerned that your looks took away some of the testing parameters to get into the course, and that once you are 'in' you might not have the skills to complete it.

Also what Jake said. He might've taken it as flirtatious that you allowed him to photograph you (photography is inherently sensual, no? Even if it is completely chalk) and continue to berate you. Be wary.

As for your fiancé, I'd feel down right offended if my fiancé agreed to get photographed by essentially a stranger to either a) get into the course or b) have higher chances of getting in.

Did he state the premises of the photography? Why did he take the photo?

He's a photographer. He takes photos of lots of people, men and women. The guy isn't a stranger; hell, my fiance taught his class. The professor even defended my fiance's work at the school on various occasions. I would still have to apply to the school, and if I don't do well, that's my fault. But I was going to apply anyway and this was a great opportunity.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#16
jesus christ, airbrush much?

also picture does not compute with thread. Do you live in an area where regular white girls are rare? Or is there some freakish attribute omitted from the picture we are missing?
#17
i'm ok with it. physical beauty is just as in-born as intellect. i don't see using one to get ahead any more or less shallow than the other. do with it as you please, and i won't **** with it or you. just don't **** your boss and don't suck dick for meth.
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#18
you take advantage of everything advantage you have.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#19
Quote by flexiblemile
jesus christ, airbrush much?

also picture does not compute with thread. Do you live in an area where regular white girls are rare? Or is there some freakish attribute omitted from the picture we are missing?

Do you enjoy being a dick or can you just not help it? There are lots of things I could post as a rational response but it's not worth the time.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
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#20
Quote by vintage x metal

tl;dr - Should you turn down job/school opportunities that you got because the person who gave you that opportunity thinks you are hot?

Nope, otherwise I'd never have a job
🙈 🙉 🙊
#21
Quote by vintage x metal
Do you enjoy being a dick or can you just not help it? There are lots of things I could post as a rational response but it's not worth the time.


you realize that this is a forum 98% full of teenage boys right? Starting a thread asking to compare the amount of money/attention you're getting because of your supposed good looks is either:

A) Deliberately being mean

or

B) Attention whoring


I'm voting for B
#22
Quote by flexiblemile
you realize that this is a forum 98% full of teenage boys right? Starting a thread asking to compare the amount of money/attention you're getting because of your supposed good looks is either:

A) Deliberately being mean

or

B) Attention whoring


I'm voting for B

That's great. Thanks. I've only been using this forum for 6 more years than you, and have talked to plenty of the people on here extensively. All girls who talk to men must be looking for attention. They're not allowed to talk otherwise. That's also why my profile is private. I get enough attention, and I'd prefer to not have your's, so now that we've had this discussion, please fvck off.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
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#23
I don't see how that is any different from taking opportunities given to you if you are a woman, non-white, have a physical disability, are first generation, poor, were in foster care, or anything that is out of your control.
#24
Quote by vintage x metal
That's great. Thanks. I've only been using this forum for 6 more years than you, and have talked to plenty of the people on here extensively. All girls who talk to men must be looking for attention. They're not allowed to talk otherwise. That's also why my profile is private. I get enough attention, and I'd prefer to not have your's, so now that we've had this discussion, please fvck off.

I know it's unrelated.

But I just cringed so very hard
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#25
^ oh get over it you know how often it's used


Quote by MakinLattes
I don't see how that is any different from taking opportunities given to you if you are a woman, non-white, have a physical disability, are first generation, poor, were in foster care, or anything that is out of your control.

woman - check
non-white - check
first-generation - check
poor - check

Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
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#27
hey that's a pretty big e-penis you've got there with your 6 years of posting on this board.

Girls can talk to men, but when they say things like:

My fiance handles me getting hit on very well, and generally just lets me deal with it


I've been approached numerous times by different people asking if I would model for them or if I would audition for their production.


Some offers have been for over $1000, with transportation and lodging paid for as well, but the person is obviously into me, though unlikely to act.


The prof is obviously pretty pompous. But he loves talking to pretty girls, and I caught his eye


it's because of attention whoring (especially if it's on the internet.), a genuine desire to hurt people or an honest incomprehension of the human psyche.


Why don't you give me another proof of how wrong I am or ask me to post a picture oh myself or something? Your quick wit is one of your many attributes, is it not?
#29
Quote by flexiblemile
hey that's a pretty big e-penis you've got there with your 6 years of posting on this board.

Girls can talk to men, but when they say things like:

Or maybe they say those things because they're true. Just because someone has a personality where they're outgoing and carefree doesn't mean they're attention whoring.

Now, go whack your head against a tree; it might might knock some sense into you.
#31
Quote by WCPhils

Possibly one of my favourite gifs ever.

+1ing it, too
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#32
Quote by flexiblemile
it's because of attention whoring (especially if it's on the internet.), a genuine desire to hurt people or an honest incomprehension of the human psyche.

So if a professor offered you a very strong recommendation into a graduate program you'd bitch about them only wanting you for your body and then turn it down?
#33
Quote by flexiblemile
it's because of attention whoring (especially if it's on the internet.), a genuine desire to hurt people or an honest incomprehension of the human psyche.


Why don't you give me another proof of how wrong I am or ask me to post a picture oh myself or something? Your quick wit is one of your many attributes, is it not?

I'm asking because those things actually happened And because I think male insight would be helpful in a situation like this. I'd ask my guy friends the same thing. I hear this argument all-too-often online. Sorry bout it. I'm obviously not hurting anyone right now, other than possibly you, and that's because you were directly a dick to me. Why the hell would you call a girl ugly and then make fun of her when she is asking for advice?

I think the male opinion is interesting, including your own, and you're no different than many of the other users. But I'm not going to stop posting just because you will judge me - it helps me in the rest of my life. You are not important to me, but there are plenty of other people who might be, and they might have the same opinion as you. That's why I post. I've received a lot of great insight from productive users here.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
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#34
Quote by flexiblemile
[BULLSHIT REDACTED]

Tell me more about your amazing ability to flawlessly profile people over the internet
🙈 🙉 🙊
#35
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Or maybe they say those things because they're true. Just because someone has a personality where they're outgoing and carefree doesn't mean they're attention whoring.

Now, go whack your head against a tree; it might might knock some sense into you.


you're white knight #1 huh? ok

How does having an outgoing personality have anything to do with bragging about your looks on the internet?

Everyone has good attributes, that's not the question. If I started a thread bragging about the many advantages of whatever attributes or accomplishments I had, wouldn't I be a douchebag? Why is it different when it's a normal looking girl on the internet talking about her looks?
#36
Quote by vintage x metal
I'm asking because those things actually happened And because I think male insight would be helpful in a situation like this. I'd ask my guy friends the same thing. I hear this argument all-too-often online. Sorry bout it. I'm obviously not hurting anyone right now, other than possibly you, and that's because you were directly a dick to me. Why the hell would you call a girl ugly and then make fun of her when she is asking for advice?

I think the male opinion is interesting, including your own, and you're no different than many of the other users. But I'm not going to stop posting just because you will judge me - it helps me in the rest of my life. You are not important to me, but there are plenty of other people who might be, and they might have the same opinion as you. That's why I post. I've received a lot of great insight from productive users here.


I called you ugly when?

EDIT: Also what kind of advice are you asking for in this thread? How to cheer up your boyfriend because he has an attractive girlfriend?
Last edited by flexiblemile at Aug 21, 2013,
#37
Quote by flexiblemile
I called you ugly when?

You didn't exactly call me ugly, but we all know that because it's right there in the thread. It was implied though, and while it's nice to know that your preference is white women, and that the average ones would look better than me, it's not really relevant. People who have different taste than you find me attractive. I don't go around telling people that I don't find attractive that they are unattractive when they weren't asking me in the first place. I only posted the pic because it was from the shoot I was talking about. Do you see how that is directly mean? And what you're doing to me is much meaner than whatever I am speculatively doing to the rest of the forum?

Anyway, why are you keeping this up? Why is any of this relevant to you? No one is making you post here


As for your edit, yes, actually, that is what I'm asking advice about, as well as other things. I made it pretty clear in the OP
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




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theguitarist
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#38
Do it if you feel the opportunity is right for you. Yeah, he's most likely diggin' you because you're hot and are very smart (considering you can have awesome debates with him on subjects that he can relate to). Why not? I'm sure your fiance can kick the shite out of 'em if that's what the situation comes down to.

Why suppress you self-succession (even though your success doesn't just benefit yourself) in this world just because of a fear of thinking, basically, someone wants to f*ck you and has offered you said opportunity just because he's attracted to you?

My solution for you - Buy some pepper spray to blast in that f*cker's face.....just in case.
Last edited by Dimarzio45 at Aug 21, 2013,
#39
Quote by vintage x metal
You didn't exactly call me ugly, but we all know that because it's right there in the thread. It was implied though, and while it's nice to know that your preference is white women, and that the average ones would look better than me, it's not really relevant. People who have different taste than you find me attractive. I don't go around telling people that I don't find attractive that they are unattractive when they weren't asking me in the first place. I only posted the pic because it was from the shoot I was talking about. Do you see how that is directly mean? And what you're doing to me is much meaner than whatever I am speculatively doing to the rest of the forum?

Anyway, why are you keeping this up? Why is any of this relevant to you? No one is making you post here


the only actual criticism I made is that it's too airbrushed. Why YOU would be offended by that is somewhat confusing...

The fact that you think I called you unattractive really speaks to your reasons for making this thread in the first place.

EDIT: Also I criticised the photographer's ability and asked for clarification. YOU called me a dick. Yet I'm the bad guy?
Last edited by flexiblemile at Aug 21, 2013,
#40
Quote by flexiblemile
you're white knight #1 huh? ok

How does having an outgoing personality have anything to do with bragging about your looks on the internet?

That's not what she was doing, dude. Read the OP again.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Aug 21, 2013,
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