#1
I wrote "Prisoner" early this morning before I went to bed, and I wrote "Innocence" this afternoon. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism? Suggestions?
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"Prisoner"

Sentence me all of this time
Make me pay for all my crimes
Defeat me
Defeat me

Be the warden in this Hell
Lock me up inside my cell and
Beat me
Beat me

Make me stand before a judge
Tell my victims to hold a grudge
Deny me
Deny me

Strap me into that wooden chair
Let’s not break that ice cold stare
Remove me
Remove me

I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me
From who I am
I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me
From who I am

Forgive me father for I have sinned
Quit believing you can live
Without me
Without me

Mother may I run away?
Why’d you put on this new face?
To spite me?
To spite me?

There’s no escape from where I lay
May never see the light of day
Beyond me
Beyond me

Took a risk and dodged the blame
Hold me close now to the flame
Before me
Before me

I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me
From who I am
I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me
From who I am

I’ve been the one
Behind the gun
One too many times
My outlaw days
Just a whiskey haze
I guess it caught up to me
Lived by the sword
I run no more
I sit and wait to be
A man cut loose
Free from this noose
But you had to settle your scores
Outlaw ways
Who’s to say
I wouldn’t do it all again…

I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me
From who I am

I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me
From who I am

Beaten down but never sold
How the hell could you be so bold?
To fight me
To fight me

Rusted chains drag down the halls
Scratching words into the walls
About me
About me

I’m a prisoner of your life, baby
But she’s the only one who’ll save me

Outlaw ways
Who’s to say
I wouldn’t do it all again
I wouldn’t do it all again
I wouldn’t do it all again
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"Innocence"

Lego blocks and Jabberwocks
And devils under beds
As gingerbread and sugarplums
All dancing through our heads
If demons are really out there
Do just like mother said
Ask God above to save you
Before the vile strike you dead

Just shield your eyes
From everything you see
Are monsters in the closet?
Or is the monster me?
Run while you still can, dear
Before I come undone
One battle may be over
This war I have not won…

Broken toys in attics lay
Collecting years of dust
Sailing paper pirate ships
Across carpets colored rust
Father always laughed at shame
When I crumbled to dust
Don’t forget from where you came
Remember me you must

Just shield your eyes
From everything you see
Are monsters in the closet?
Or is the monster me?
Run while you still can, dear
Before I come undone
One battle may be over
This war I have not won…

Where has innocence gone?
Where has innocence gone?
Where has innocence gone?
Where has innocence gone?

Just shield your eyes
From everything you see
Are monsters in the closet?
Or is the monster me?
Run while you still can, dear
Before I come undone
One battle may be over
This war I have not won…

Boldfaced lies from tired eyes
Of beasts from long ago
Of fire breathing evil
Frozen by the snow
Wives tales and folklore dreams
Passed down, bartered, sold
Now they live to haunt you
Stab fear through your soul

Where has innocence gone?
Where has innocence gone?

They burns out the nightlight
That’s kept you safe for years
They expose you naked
Torment you to tears
Cleverly disguised themselves
As the sum of all your fears

Where has innocence gone?
Where has innocence gone?

Just shield your eyes
From everything you see
Are monsters in the closet?
Or is the monster me?
Run while you still can, dear
Before I come undone
One battle may be over
This war I have not won…
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#2
I like these songs a lot. Only thing that didn't flow great to me was these lines:
A man cut loose
Free from this noose

Otherwise, very good!
#3
Quote by cbarnes52
I like these songs a lot. Only thing that didn't flow great to me was these lines:
A man cut loose
Free from this noose

Otherwise, very good!


Wow thanks a bunch, cbarnes52! And yeah, I think there are a couple lines in both that are kinda iffy.