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The first thing you see somehow made you a million dollars . What is that thing aand how did it make you a million dollars without some crazy person buying it from you on ebay?

My blanket made me a million dollarsbecause a plane I was on crashed in Antartica, where Bill gates for some reason went and froze a million dollars,i hadmy blanket with me and put it over the million dollars, wrapping it in there in the plane and boom, a million dollars.
And then you froze to death horribly because you used your only source of warmth to preserve meaningless (in that context) money.

Quote by CoreysMonster

I still like cho0onger more than the 2 of you

Quote by OneHappyCamper
joke's on you, i actually fuck my cat
My old phone.

I used it to crack an old lady in the head after she made a massive bank withdrawal.
My tablet. I guess I can buy a new one with a million dollars but I love mine.
i see the wall of my house. i can only presume my house is sitting on an oil deposit.
Ceiling fan (I'm laying on my side)

I'm going to fly away to a magical new continent and exploit all the natives for natural resources.
It is a loading bearing wall. Removing it has destroyed my apartment and severely injured me. The building owner is in the process of suing me for damages and rent owed. As a result of my injuries, I am unable to attend school and lose my funding. I have also lost my insurance and thus my means of paying for treatment. I am now crippled and homeless. Thanks, ts.
A soda (root beer).
Because someone was crazy enough to bid a million dollars for it on eBay.

Yes. I know that wasn't good. But you got anything better? It's a freaking soda.
My computer and router and stuff. I used the internet to learn to become a hacker for all my life so I was good enough to steal from multiple banks across the country and not get caught
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.

Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
pillow. i smothered a man who had a million dollars saved in his house and stole it. then i get caught.
What do you know? A stack of a million dollars! Boy, good thing I lucked out because I have no imagination.
A Dimmu Borgir poster I made on VistaPrint because I was really into them at one time and couldn't find an actual poster.

Some eccentric billionaire notices it and offers me a million for it because he also can't fInd a Dummy poster and doesn't know how to internet.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

Switched position: to my left is a Jackson JTX tele-looking thing. Obviously I use it to record the best power metal song ever.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

14" Offworld Percussion Practice Snare drum pad.

I commit insurance fraud and kill someone? Idk.
Minecraft: Sonic
League of Legends: CinoSRelliK

Currently Playing/listening to/Reading:

Kerbal Space Program,
Binding of Isaac
Opeth - Orchid
S. by Doug Dorst
The Martian by Andy Weir
My safety toe boots.

I was at work and a heavy tank fell on my foot and the safety toe was really just made of scrap metal and bent, chopping off my toes, then I sued the company that made them for millions because the guy who made the boot was drunk that day and put the wrong material in the boot to protect my little piggies.
A bottle of water.

I was taking a hie through the woods one day when I stumbled upon a man off the path. He had been there for several days due to a broken leg and arm. I gave him my bottle of water to help rehydrate him while I stayed with him until the paramedics came. It turns out that that man was an heir to the Cheese-Whiz fortune. He gave me a million dollars for what I did for him.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
Quote by The_Blode
^ I'm sorry your highness I forgot that I'm subhuman. . .

Quote by ErikLensherr
Belt, specifically the one I wear to work

It kept my pants on while I earned a million dollars otherwise. Without wearing my pants, I don't think I'd be able to make that million dollars.
You on the pot boy!?
A bassist is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

The Pit operates under a pseudo-Murphy’s Law state of mind. You can make a comment and "whatever wrong assumption that can be made about it, will be made about it."
a stuffed dinosaur. I sold it to Steven Spielberg for a million dollars to use in his next Jurassic Park film.
Quote by uhh_me?
Looking to the left. Not seeing any outrage.

i do! i do!

oh wait, that's an outlet.

an electrical one.

how is this gonna make me rich again?
A stand of fruits. I gave it to a starving person, and my good deed got noticed by some rich person/corporation, and they gave me a million dollars.
Quote by progdude93
my fetish is dudes with dicks small enough to pee on their own sacks.
Big ol' glass of water.

My big ol' glass of water made me a million dollars because I was on a plane with Bill Gates when we crashed in the desert. I drank the water and clubbed Bill Gates with the empty glass until he gave me a million dollars.
I looked to my left, then back to me, then back to the left and it was now diamonds.
🙈 🙉 🙊
A printer. I print out a million dollars worth of counterfeit bills and moonlight as a Nigerian prince and find some naive millionaire and con him into swapping out a real million dollars for my counterfeit million dollars.
Quote by naedauuf
Shit working 24 hours a week at $12 an hour makes me rich?

My asthma inhaler.

I staged the biggest insurance fraud known to man involving faking an asthma attack and a goat.

Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
A bunch of angry customers
....i finish my lunch break early attend all of them and sell thek all stuff
The commision fron these sales mKes ne a million dollars(if i ever make a millionin commision my boss would cry from the amoubt of money i made them)
Quote by Seref
My old phone.

I used it to crack an old lady in the head after she made a massive bank withdrawal.

I've got a mirror to my left.
It the mirror, I see a fan.
I guess I could do the same thing.
my tigger

he is a talking tiggerific dude and people pay him just to be seen with him. he gives me all his $ because tiggers don't need money
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