#1
I listened to music all the time so I figured I would enjoy playing it. Played it on and off for 6 years until I realized if I really did enjoy it, it wouldn't seem like so much work. We played a year ago, I told him I sucked at bass, and eventually he texted me saying his band was looking for another bassist. Mainly because of a manic episode, not necessarily my skill. I was kinda happy. He not one of my true friends for I don't know him well by the way.

Then he came over for a little jam session not too long ago and now wants to start a band again. But he left his nice bass amp at my house for me to practice. I want to call it quits but its awkward because his bass is at my house. And he'd have to drive 30 minutes here to pick it up and leave. Not only that but he looked on craigslist for a drummer and found one... now he want's to practice at my house which I don't want to be apart of.

I'm just sick of this dumb stress, chasing this "dream", and just playing music under a schedule in general. It distracts me from life, god knows I need to catch up. Schizoaffective disorder has left me very far behind at 23 years old (but I seem to be handling it a lot better). I just want to pick up an instrument from time to time. What would be a good way to let him know I don't want to do it, with little awkwardness. I still would like to be his friend, but not just another jam buddy.

Playing music just stresses me out a ton in general, most likely due to past events. I like jamming with people, but I'm really not into creating the Stone Sour, Stained, Nickleback, Bullet for my Valentine, As I Lay Dying esque type songs he wants to create. It doesn't fit me at all, i'd feel like a West Baptist Church member on a gay pride float playing that live. Just really uncomfortable and out of my element (I'm gay, don't that that simile out of hand).

The only time I could see wanting to be in a band would be around my real good friends and playing something light, fun, can have hints of sadness, yet original sound and lyrics. Like Modest Mouse, The Strokes, Eagles of Death Metal, QOTSA, Arctic Monkeys ect... It can be metal and heavy just not the more I sound like a loud dying fox the more deep my band is. Creative sadness that has bright sides too, not, "My hearts bleeds eternally with the dying soul of my fate crushed under your stiletto shoes of remorse!" Sorry done ranting, this post got way out of control, props and thanks if you read this .
#2
Poor guy


Just tell him you don't want to be a part of it. That's that.
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#6
I don't see what the problem is, just say you aren't into it.
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#7
Quote by nc2555
I'm just sick of this dumb stress, chasing this "dream", and just playing music under a schedule in general. It distracts me from life, god knows I need to catch up. Schizoaffective disorder has left me very far behind at 23 years old (but I seem to be handling it a lot better). I just want to pick up an instrument from time to time. What would be a good way to let him know I don't want to do it, with little awkwardness. I still would like to be his friend, but not just another jam buddy.

"I just want to pick up an instrument from time to time, I don't want to be part of any band. Also, I'm gay and somewhat interested in you so if we could maintain this relationship I'd appreciate it."
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We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#8
Tell him you've had a change of heart and that it's nothing personnel you just don't want to be in a band.

Things that will make this go smoother are you saying sorry a few times and also you arranging to drop his stuff at his house so he doesn't have to come get it
#9
Yea simple answer, i'll just say no. I over think far too much. And I gotta learn to say no more. P.S. Victory that was pretty funny, and sadly somewhat true.
Last edited by nc2555 at Aug 25, 2013,
#12
Everyone has already answered your question. Grow some balls and say, "I want out".

/thread
#13
Tell him you're into djent, that will do.
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#14
Tell him you want to pursue a rap career.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#15
Tell him to do one, you melt.
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#16
tell him brony rock is your life now.

edit: please tell me that doesnt exist.
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#17
Quote by nc2555
Yea simple answer, i'll just say no. I over think far too much. And I gotta learn to say no more. P.S. Victory that was pretty funny, and sadly somewhat true.

Yeah man, it's pretty obvious you have a thing for the guy. Before you said you were gay I pretty much had it figured out. This wouldn't be an issue if you weren't interested in him. Try to stay in contact with him though. Maybe he'll get the hint. Good luck.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#18
Quote by sirrjj
tell him brony rock is your life now.

edit: please tell me that doesnt exist.

If it suddenly emerges, I'm blaming you.
#19
Quote by Dimarzio45
If it suddenly emerges, I'm blaming you.


maybe ille make it.

Better yet tell him your suffering an existensial crisis and couldnt put the band throught the pressure created by the uncertinty of your own existence.
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Last edited by sirrjj at Aug 25, 2013,
#22
you might feel obliged to join his band because you have his bass amp, but we both know you don't want to be a part of the band. just return it to him and apologize, and that's that.
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#23
Yea, guitarists are common and will often turn to bass to be in the band. He's done the hard part an found a drummer.
#24
I dont know what I can say that has't been said, however, "Modest Mouse, The Strokes, Eagles of Death Metal, QOTSA, Arctic Monkeys" sounds like my sort of band
Misha Mansoor:
Uplifting quote disguising failure as something to be proud of.
#25
Just explain you're not interested in that kind of music. Plus, the last thing the world needs is more "not really a bass player" bassists.
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#26
Next time he comes over to see how your playing's going, just purposely play like absolute shit.
Last edited by slow_n_chunky at Aug 25, 2013,
#27
If you're not happy doing it, don't do it.
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Wake up people!
#28
Just tell the guy that no means no. If he doesn't understand, smack him so hard his eyes switch places.
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#29
Just be all hey man i think we should jam with other people. is not you its me I'm just not up to the level you deserve. Please don't be upset IV cherished the time we have spent together and i want you to know I've grown from this experience but what we have burnt to fast like a candle in the wind. One day you'll find someone who will jam with you right but at this moment in time is not me.you'll get over the pain in time and one day we can look back and laugh. Good bye.
#30
Just say that you don't want too.
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#32
Quote by ginger ninja102
Just be all hey man i think we should jam with other people. is not you its me I'm just not up to the level you deserve. Please don't be upset IV cherished the time we have spent together and i want you to know I've grown from this experience but what we have burnt to fast like a candle in the wind. One day you'll find someone who will jam with you right but at this moment in time is not me.you'll get over the pain in time and one day we can look back and laugh. Good bye.



this is gold


you HAVE to say this
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You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

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Kicking a man when he's down, I'm proud of you

When they're down is the safest time.

Soundcloud
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#33
Quote by sirrjj
tell him brony rock is your life now.

edit: please tell me that doesnt exist.

I googled it.


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If it suddenly emerges, I'm blaming you.

BLAME HIM!
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Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Aug 26, 2013,