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#1
I figured this was a bit to heavy for the relationship thread, so here it goes. I've got a date on Thursday with this pretty cool girl. She wants to go to a coffeeshop near our university. The problem is my ex roommate is almost always there. What's the problem you ask? Well my ex-roommate tried to kill me. So pit, how do I proceed, seeing as this is honestly the most convenient place for us to meet?
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
#2
Quote by RealGuitarHero
What's the problem you ask? Well my ex-roommate tried to kill me.

Those are the two funniest sentences ever written on ultimate-guitar.
#3
Tell her "I don't really want to meet there as my ex-roommate tried to kill me."

Don't give any context or anything, don't tell her that he goes there, just say that.
#4
How did the roommate try to kill you?
How is said roommate not in jail for attempted murder if said roommate did actually try to kill you and this isn't hyperbole?
#5
You're SOL. He's going to kill you and steal your date.
╘MESHUG╦G╗AH





Ibanez ARX 350
Dunlop 535Q
Ibanez TS9
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DRIVE Elite straight 412
#6
Hire a bodygaurd.
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#7
Cancel the date and lose this girls info. You're clearly too much of a puss to do anything if you're afraid of being in public with a guy that only threatened and didn't actually go through with it.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers

If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
#8
- Isn't there another coffeeshop?
- Why can't you tell her about this, especially considering she's 'pretty cool'?
- It's a public place, are they that insane that they would do anything?
- Why did they try to kill you?
- Without knowing your area and your or her personalities I can only suggest parks, cafés, bars or some kind of casual restaurant/diner to meet at.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#9
Quote by macashmack
How did the roommate try to kill you?
How is said roommate not in jail for attempted murder if said roommate did actually try to kill you and this isn't hyperbole?

She was on drugs and tried to slit my throat while I was asleep. My mother let me move back into my parents house on the condition I didn't involve the police. My mom loved my roommate and wanted me to marry her.
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
#10
Tell her you work for the cia and the only place you can meet up without blowing your cover is her bedroom.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers

If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
#11
oh, lol.


I guess that answers everything but my first and last points. (I'm guess you can't tell her about it because of the whole mother liking the girl/getting involved thing?)
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#12
So you were just a giant puss. Fair enough. Not involving the police, regardless of what ur bitch mum thought, will always be the dumbest thing you could possibly have done.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers

If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
#13
Quote by theguitarist
oh, lol.


I guess that answers everything but my first and last points. (I'm guess you can't tell her about it because of the whole mother liking the girl/getting involved thing?)

Oh yeah, sorry. Figured if I edited it the new info wouldn't be seen and double posts are no bueno. Well I mean I plan to tell her about this eventually if it goes well. My mother really has no merit on what I do with my life, but it was either that or be homeless. There isn't any other coffeeshops except for this one and I'm gonna assume she wants to meet here just because its a safe environment(irony).
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
#14
Look man, I hate to be the one to say this, but your story sounds like bullshit....


.... You don't have a date
#15
Quote by RealGuitarHero
Oh yeah, sorry. Figured if I edited it the new info wouldn't be seen and double posts are no bueno. Well I mean I plan to tell her about this eventually if it goes well. My mother really has no merit on what I do with my life, but it was either that or be homeless. There isn't any other coffeeshops except for this one and I'm gonna assume she wants to meet here just because its a safe environment(irony).

I say tell her meow. I feel like she deserves to know what she might be walking into.

If you wanna shake things up a bit, you could always take her out for a meal or something crazy like that. That way, you'd get to spit your game while still (hopefully) staying out of nurse hatchet's way.
#16
Quote by RealGuitarHero
She was on drugs and tried to slit my throat while I was asleep. My mother let me move back into my parents house on the condition I didn't involve the police. My mom loved my roommate and wanted me to marry her.

lol, your mom is as stupid as her
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#18
Go to coffee shop
Let ex roommate attack you , you kill him thus proving your self worth to the lady

report back with all the sex you're having
#19
Quote by WCPhils
lol, your mom is as stupid as her

yeah she is.

Quote by Leperaffinity01
I say tell her meow. I feel like she deserves to know what she might be walking into.

If you wanna shake things up a bit, you could always take her out for a meal or something crazy like that. That way, you'd get to spit your game while still (hopefully) staying out of nurse hatchet's way.

Yeah I suggested a meal at first but then she suggested coffee. Small steps man.
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
#20
kill him first.

Survival of the fittest.

Better yet, kill him in front of your date to show her how alpha you are.

Survival of the alphaest
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life

But I will always find a way to survive
#21
Do you honestly think you're going to get jumped in broad daylight in the coffee shop? I think you're just whoring for attention with your crazy story.

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#22
^ These two killing her ideas are great. You should do that.
My God, it's full of stars!
#23
Quote by jthm_guitarist
Do you honestly think you're going to get jumped in broad daylight in the coffee shop? I think you're just whoring for attention with your crazy story.

No, it's more like she's liable to cause a scene.
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
#24
If you're going to a coffee shop then write some slam poetry beforehand and then rap it (or whatever the kids call it nowadays) on the open mic and hopefully it'll get across to the new girl somehow. If not then just kill your ex and piss on her body, then burn the coffee house down and write a black metal album about it.
#25
Quote by Skullivan
If you're going to a coffee shop then write some slam poetry beforehand and then rap it (or whatever the kids call it nowadays) on the open mic and hopefully it'll get across to the new girl somehow. If not then just kill your ex and piss on her body, then burn the coffee house down and write a black metal album about it.

#26
Quote by Trowzaa
Tell her "I don't really want to meet there as my ex-roommate tried to kill me."

Don't give any context or anything, don't tell her that he goes there, just say that.

This, but add, "Maybe we should hang out in my bedroom. "
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#27
Your mom is working with your ex roommate to try and kill you. That's why she didn't want any police involvement. The roommate would have ratted her out and she would have gone to jail too. I'm calling it right now
e-married to Jack (bladez)
#28
coffee shop is not a date. have fun in the friend zone.


or better yet, ask her to go out to dinner and go to a bar afterwards, and then take her home and **** her. That's a real date, you nerd. If you can't even do that there's no way this girl will respect you.
Listen. I'm sorry.
Last edited by vilk at Aug 28, 2013,
#29
Quote by RealGuitarHero
I figured this was a bit to heavy for the relationship thread, so here it goes. I've got a date on Thursday with this pretty cool girl. She wants to go to a coffeeshop near our university. The problem is my ex roommate is almost always there. What's the problem you ask? Well my ex-roommate tried to kill me. So pit, how do I proceed, seeing as this is honestly the most convenient place for us to meet?
Quote by RealGuitarHero
She was on drugs and tried to slit my throat while I was asleep. My mother let me move back into my parents house on the condition I didn't involve the police. My mom loved my roommate and wanted me to marry her.


Hmmm.
I'm still not seeing what the actual problem is here.
So you have a bad history with someone who may or may not be at the coffeeshop. How does that affect your date? Is she likely to come running at you with the knife she used to try to kill you during the date? Is she likely to butt in and introduce herself to your date as the psycho ex-girlfriend from hell? Is she in any way likely to even want to spoil your date... taking into consideration that you could have pressed some very serious charges indeed against her for what she did, but decided not to, and also considering that she SERIOUSLY still owes you for not pressing those charges against her?

How about if you grow a pair, visit the ex-roommate, tell her about the date and simply ask her not to spoil it?
Or, if that doesn't work, how about if you tell her not to spoil your date and that if she does she will suffer the consequences, ie, you reporting the whole throat cutting thing to the police?

Remember, you have more on her than she has on you, she should be the one that's avoiding you not the other way around.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Aug 28, 2013,
#30
So you're ex is at this coffee place 24/7, like there's a guarantee she's always going to be there? That's almost as psycho as trying to kill you
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#31
Man up and tell your date where you're going. Girls like and respect guys that make decisions like this. Besides, as was already mentioned: coffee = friends.
LICKY, LICKY LOLLIPOP


Quote by soundjam
Which is why you eat funions. All the deliciousness of fried onions without disgusting lukewarm onion snake.
#32
Just tell her, what's the big deal?
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
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Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
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I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
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Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
#33
What if she's been hired by your former lover/roomie to lure you into the coffeeshop?

Swimfan, man, swimfan.
#34
Quote by Wiegenlied
So you're ex is at this coffee place 24/7, like there's a guarantee she's always going to be there? That's almost as psycho as trying to kill you

She's too cheap to buy internet and the place has free internet. Last I heard she doesn't even have electricity at the place.

But anyways, I figured out a solution to my problem. So it's all good!
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
#35
Quote by Skullivan
If you're going to a coffee shop then write some slam poetry beforehand and then rap it (or whatever the kids call it nowadays) on the open mic and hopefully it'll get across to the new girl somehow. If not then just kill your ex and piss on her body, then burn the coffee house down and write a black metal album about it.

do this
#36
Go to the coffe shop with your date, have your ex roomie stalk you back to your house, bam threesome
Sail upon the open skies
#37
Quote by RealGuitarHero
She's too cheap to buy internet and the place has free internet. Last I heard she doesn't even have electricity at the place.

But anyways, I figured out a solution to my problem. So it's all good!


and????
#38
Quote by TunerAddict
So you were just a giant puss. Fair enough. Not involving the police, regardless of what ur bitch mum thought, will always be the dumbest thing you could possibly have done.

This post is truth.
You're an asshole for letting a person that tries to slit peoples' throats while they sleep stay out of prison.
#39
Quote by macashmack
This post is truth.
You're an asshole for letting a person that tries to slit peoples' throats while they sleep stay out of prison.


She could kind of do that in prison too, ya know? And she'd be more likely to slit more throats after her splendid vacation in prison.
#40
Quote by MetalMullet
She could kind of do that in prison too, ya know? And she'd be more likely to slit more throats after her splendid vacation in prison.

Are you saying that a person who tried to kill someone in their sleep shouldn't go to prison?
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